Friday, September 28, 2012

Week 5 Predictions

It's the end of September already and Week 5 of our season already. I'm not sure how many of you play fantasy football, but if you don't, you should, "IT'S SERIOUS FUN!"

In addition to football season, the fall also brings us new TV shows! Which shows will survive to see the new year?  Hell, which shows will survive until Thanksgiving? For some, being on until Halloween would be a minor miracle. Having worked in the entertainment industry, I can tell you first hand that most shows succeed despite the network execs, not because of them. Let's take a look at the weakest to strongest of Hollywood's latest attempts to entertain us:

FCS - Stars Earn Stripes (NBC).  Like the cupcakes that all FBS teams schedule, this category is for shows that are just filler between good teams, or in this case, commercials. They could call this "Dancing with the Stars Rejects".  Even Dick Wolf & Mark Burnett can't save this from not only being boring, but embarrassing.  Gen. Wesley Clark was a valedictorian at West Point, a Rhodes Scholar, earned the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and even several honorary knighthoods.  Now, he hosts a reality show where "stars" pretend to be soldiers.  I feel sad for America.  I'm pretty sure this has been cancelled already.

Sun Belt - Beauty and the Beast (CW) - A step above FCS, but not quite the big time BCS yet. Yep, it's THAT Beauty & the Beast again.  No, this is not animated.  Yes, it's remake of the 1987 show of the same name starring Ron Perlman & Linda Hamilton.  No, those two do not reprise their roles.  Yes, this will be cancelled before the leaves fall off the trees.

Independents - Hunted (Cinemax) For those shows without a home on basic cable. Who knew Cinemax had more than just movies and soft core porn?  This original series stars Melissa George of Alias and Grey's Anatomy fame.


It has an interesting premise, a super spy is betrayed by her agency, she survives an assassination attempt, seeks revenge on everyone.  Who can't get behind a hot spy seeking revenge on her enemies?  The issue is, will anyone see this?  Speaking of anyone seeing this, Downtown Abbey is apparently the best show nobody has seen except Emmy voters.  I can't say this will be cancelled because I have no idea who still gets Cinemax.




Conference USA -  Malibu Country (ABC) - A show most people forget about immediately after watching it, if they watch it. Reba McEntire returns to TV, this time she plays... Reba.  BUT!  Now she lives in Malibu. So it's TOTALLY different than her previous show, Reba.  Country star has family problems, moves to Malibu.  Yeah, middle America can totally relate.  Is there a big demand for Reba on TV that I'm not aware of?  Reba will be back in Nashville by Thanksgiving.

WAC - Arrow (CW) - Like the WAC has a few interesting teams, and if there is absolutely nothing else on, you'll watch it. The CW has a few shows that some may find interesting, if you don't like good writing or acting. Superhero movies are making billions at the box office... so why not the small screen?  Remember this doozie of a superhero show?
The Flash may be the worst Superhero of all time.  The guy can run, really really fast.  That would be useful for getting AWAY from a fight, but to battle Loki, Red Skull or Whiplash?  Ugh. Who's his nemesis?  The Sloth?


Now, the CW has brought Legolas, er, the Green Arrow to our homes on a weekly basis.  The Arrow, a wealthy playboy by day and vigilante by night, (c'mon!?  How is that not copyright infringement?) The Arrow honed his archery skills on a deserted island... blah blah blah.  I hope they show this in 3D so he can shoot an Arrow through my eye, which be more pleasant than sitting through an episode.












MAC - Made In Jersey (CBS) - A show that doesn't get any respect, but is better than you think. This show sounds like a new MTV reality show, but it's on your grandparents network, CBS.  Working class jersey girl gets a job with a big time New York City law firm. Ironically the "Jersey girl" is played by a Brit, Jessica Blank, but don't worry, they made her hair almost as big as Snookie's.  I can't wait for the first Jerseyesque courtroom melt down scene complete with hair pulling.







Mountain West - Last Resort (ABC) - A show that is better than some other higher rated shows.  Fans of The Shield will appreciate that Shawn Ryan is back with a new series, Last Resort, starring Andre Braugher, and Kate Beckinsale's favorite Vampire, Werewolf hybrid, Scott Speedman.  

Synopsis: 500 feet beneath the ocean's surface, the U.S. ballistic missile submarine Colorado receives their orders.  Over a radio channel, designed only to be used if their homeland has been wiped out, they're told to fire nuclear weapons at Pakistan.  Captain Marcus Chaplin (Braugher) demands confirmation of the orders only to be unceremoniously relieved of duty by the White House XO Sam Kendal (Speedman) who then finds himself sunddenly in charge of the submarine and facing the same difficult decision.  When he also refuses to fire without confirmation of the orders, the Colorado is targeted, fired upon and hit.  The submarine and its crew find themselves crippled on the ocean floor, declared rogue enemies of their own country.  Now, with nowhere left to turn, Chaplin and Kendal take the sub on the run and bring the mean and women of the Colorado to an exotic island.  Here they will find refuge, romance, and a chance at a new life even as they try to clear their names and get home. 

Am I wrong or does this sound like a TV version of Crimson Tide?  I wonder if they end up on the same island as the one from Lost. 





Big Least - Guys with Kids (NBC) & Go On (NBC) - A terrible show that people will watch nonetheless. From Jimmy Fallon comes this, ahem, "comedy" about 3 guys living in the same apartment complex and learning how to be Dad's.  Fourteen kids are used to play the 7 kid roles in this show.  Over/under on at least 8 of the child stars following the same path as Lindsay Lohan & Amanda Bynes.



Another TV season, another Mathew Perry sitcom.  It seems like this happens every year since the end of Friends.  This time, he's a sports radio talk show host who loses his wife and joins a support group in Goon, er, Go On.  People will watch because he was on Friends, and NBC is determined to keep at least one of the friends on TV at all times.











ACC - Animal Practice (NBC) - it's not quite as good as other popular shows, but is successful nonetheless. My comedy theory is this:  Add a midget and a monkey to any situation and you will have something funny no matter what.  My theory is sound and time tested.  Game of Thrones would be nothing but "Warcraft the Series" if not for Peter Dinklage. This show has half of my theory, with the monkey from The Hangover II being the funniest character on the show.
Add a midget and NBC could have the next great sitcom.

Big Ten - Chicago Fire (NBC)  - A show with a cast full of history and tradition that has lost some of it's luster. What do you get when you take Dick Wolf's Law & Order and cross breed it with Backdraft?  You get Chicago Fire. Women will watch because it's got hot firefighters. Men will watch because who among us didn't want to be a firefighter when we were kids?  Everyone had that red plastic firefighter helmet back in the day.  Then we grew up, and started watching Law & Order, and then came Rescue Me and that motley group of firefighters, and now, as we head into our 30's, we arrive at this show.


Big XII - 666 Park Ave (ABC) - Like the conference, it may lack some luster of the bigger shows, but it's still good.  Terry O'Quinn, aka "John Locke", or "Flocke" the smoke monster, from Lost, returns to TV in this drama set in a swanky apartment building, The Drake, on Manhattan's Upper East Side.  The catch is, all of the residents have a secret... .

They have all made a deal with the devil to have their every desire fulfilled. I get the sense that this show is loosely based on Lindsay Lohan & Kim Kardashian.  ABC is promoting the hell out of this show, which means A. They spent a lot of money on it already and need to recoup some of it or B. They believe in the show and think it will be a hit.  I'm going with a little from column A and a little from column B.  I would seriously question the judgment of anyone that would build an apartment complex with the address "666" though.



Pac 12 - The Following (Fox) - A high octane show that's not quite as good as the SEC.  In this case, Fox brings us "The Following", starring Kevin Bacon who I am now separated from by only 2 degrees.  The premise: The FBI estimates there are currently over 300 active serial killers in the U.S. What would happen if these killers had a way of communicating and connecting with each other? What if they were able to work together and form alliances across the country? What if one brilliant psychotic serial killer was able to bring them all together and activate a following? ... OR!  What if serial killers unionized! Maybe they can just create a private Facebook page for themselves, or just follow each other on twitter.  This show sounds like it's one part X-Files, one part CSI, one part Law & Order with a sprinkling of Bacon bits. I'll be following The Following this fall. 


On a side note, if you're into following, and liked Inception and the Dark Knight movies, check out one of Director Christopher Nolan's first movies, Following.


SEC - Vegas (CBS) - This show will win the best ratings year after year. Dennis Quaid, Michael Chiklis, Jason O'Mara, and Carrie-Anne Moss star in this 1960s period drama set in the early days of Sin City. There are no Old Fashioneds or Playboy bunnies, but cowboy hats. Based on the true story of Las Vegas Sheriff Ralph Lamb, Dennis Quaid makes his TV series debut as Lamb, a rancher who goes up against a powerful gangster (Michael Chiklis) to help bring order to Sin City. Casino is one of my favorite movies, and the original Ocean's 11 was a fantastic movie, I only hope this series is as gripping as those two films.  


Of course, the if the networks don't immediately get the ratings they want from any of these shows, they'll cancel them.  And if by chance a show does turn into a hit, they'll move it's time slot around so many times you'll have no idea when it's on, and then they'll put re-runs on for a month before showing a new episode, leaving the audience guessing as to why the F the network is trying to kill the shows that audiences like. 

Note to network execs... viewers don't like playing hide & seek with their shows.  We have short attention spans and the internet is always available.  Would it kill you to keep the damn shows on consistently and in the same time slot?  It would?  OK, then I'm going on the internet then.  Thank god for Tivo.  




Let's talk some football...

Top 25 Action

Ole Miss @ #1 'Bama - Bama's D is the ultimate cock block, nobody can score when they're around.

They have only given up 21 points all season, and 14 of those came against Michigan in the season opener.  They have two shut outs already. Last week they crushed Florida Atlantic 40-7.  Ole Miss has the 11th ranked rushing attack in the nation, but gave up 66 points to the only ranked opponent they played, and that was a Texas team that isn't exactly lighting up the scoreboard this year.  The Rebels will be the latest team to run into the Bama buzz saw.  45-10 Crimson Tide.

#2 Oregon v. Wazzu - The Ducks moved into second on the heels of LSU struggling to put away Auburn last week. The Ducks showed up on D last week, shutting out RichRod's vaunted spread attack 49-0. The Cougars collapsed in the second half against a moribund Colorado team who's coach may still be the first casualty of the season.  The Cougars just don't have the players to keep the Ducks out of the end zone.  59-17 Oregon.

Towson @ #3 LSU - The Tigers escaped Auburn last week with a 12-10 win.  The close call dropped them to #3 this week.  In today's college football, even a win isn't good enough to keep the pace apparently.  If you're not winning by impressive margins, the polls don't like you. As Steve Miller said, Towson will take the money and run.  52-0 LSU.

#4 FSU @ South Florida - The Seminoles showed they belong last week, walloping Clemson 49-37.  The 'Noles have shown they can score, but can they keep anyone from scoring?  Heading into this game, the FSU D had only given up 3 points all season, and the first team they faced with a pulse on offense came out and put up 37 on them.  If that D doesn't tighten up, the 'Noles will be good but not great this year. Lucky for FSU they don't face another team currently ranked in the top 25 until the last game of the season against Florida, currently ranked 11.  The Bulls are in a tailspin, having lost two straight, including 31-27 to Ball State last week.  The skid continues this week, 39-7 Seminoles.

Volunteers @ #5 Bulldogs - The Volunteers lost to the only ranked team they've played this year, losing 37-20 to Florida at home.  Georgia has been impressive this year, with QB Aaron Murray leading a potent offense.  Could the "Dawgs get caught looking ahead to their top 10 showdown with South Carolina next week?  Anything is possible in the SEC.  27-24 Tennessee.

#6 Gamecocks @ Kentucky - Could it be possible for South Carolina to get caught looking ahead too?  Like I said, anything is possible, even a bear riding a horse.
Fortunately for the 'Cocks, Kentucky is terrible.  South Carolina should continue to roll. Spurrier wins shortest press conference of the week pool this year. 39-3 Gamecocks.

#25 Baylor @ #7 Mountaineers - Baylor is 3-0 and has been lighting up the scoreboard all season, but hasn't played anyone of any significance yet.  Their toughest game so far as been against the LA-Monroe Warhawks, and they gave up 42 points to them.  Needless to say, Baylor is all O and no D. The Mountaineers are not what the Bears need right now.  WVU opens with a win in the Big XII debut... 55-34 WVU.  Ligth 'em up!


#8 Stanford @ U-Dub - I would've predicted the Cardinal to win this game after they beat USC, but since it was played last night and the Huskies came back in the 4th quarter for a 17-13 win, I'll congratulate the Huskies on their win and wonder if Stanford was still relishing the fall of Troy.  I have to mention that if you live in or visit the state of Washington, beware of the Zombie Bees 

#12 Texas @ Cowboys - If you watched the Texas offense, you wouldn't think they were currently ranked 7th in the nation in scoring at 49.3 ppg.  I didn't even believe it myself.  The 'Horns haven't played anyone tough yet, and no, Ole Miss is not a tough game.  Okie State is another spread offense team that treats playing defense like Amanda Bynes treats traffic laws, it doesn't apply to them.  There should be plenty of scoring in this game.  45-41 Okie State.

On a side note, neither Okie State nor the Dallas Cowboys thought it prudent to by the domain cowboys.com, and as such, Cowboys.com is a gay dating site.

#14 Buckeyes @ # 20 SpartyE. Gordon Gee spent 64Kon bow ties!  Freaking bow ties!  He spent an average Americans yearly salary buying a piece of material that he ties around his neck as his trademark look. You just can't make this shit up.  It makes you wonder how much OSU spends on it's football players, and their "compliance" department to keep the NCAA in their place.  #culture.

The Buckeyes are undefeated, but haven't exactly been impressive this year.  Braxton Miller still can't pass consistently.  It only took 2 weeks for Sparty to go back to being Sparty.  After getting hammered by Notre Dame 20-3 at home, Sparty nearly shit the bed against Eastern Michigan last week, finally pulling away in the 4th quarter and winning 23-7.  Sadly, these are still the best two teams in what is turning out to be an awful Big Ten this year.  24-17 Buckeyes.

#15 TCU @ SMU - TCU is the anti-Okie state, winning with stifling D.  The Horned Frogs are #1 in the nation in scoring D, giving up a measly 4.3 ppg.  Then again, their D has only played 3 games and none of those teams were very good. SMU should fall right in line with the rest of the teams.  42-0 TCU.

#17 Clemson @ Doug Flutie U - 1 ranked team, 1 Clemson loss.  This Clemson program is as predictable as the sun coming up.  The Tigers got beat up by the 'Noles last week and look to salvage their season against B.C. this week. The Eagles are not a very good team this year, with one of the worst rushing attacks in college football. If they're going to pull the upset, the Eagles will have to air it out.  39-17 Clemson.

#18 Beavers @ Arizona - The Beavers have played 2 ranked teams this year, and are currently 2-0.  The Beavers do just enough to win, holding on to beat UCLA last week 27-20.  The Beavers formula is to surprisingly air it out on offense and then play solid defense.  So far so good. That D will be put to the test against the Wildcats spread offense.  RichRod will be looking to rebound after getting shut out in Eugene last week. 24-17 Beavers. Go Beavers!


#19 Louisville @ Southern Miss - Louisville is an overall good team, not great at anything, but good at everything.  The Cardinals continue to climb the rankings every week, but haven't played a tough team yet.  Southern Miss does not qualify as a tough team this year. In fact, after winning 10 games last year, the Golden Eagles are still looking for their first win this year. 45-7 Louisville.

Badgers @ #22 Cornhuskers - Wisconsin's offense has struggled mightily this year.  After firing their offensive line coach already, the Badgers benched QB Danny O'Brien in favor of freshman Joel Stave.  Stave got the offense going a little bit last week against UTEP, helping the Badgers put up 37 points. The Badgers coaches only threw the ball 17 times, and relied on the ground attack to help Stave.  Despite losing Montee Ball, who may wish he'd left for the NFL, the Badgers were still able to get the win against UTEP.  Nebraska has not had any issues putting points on the board this year, but their D is not up to 'Huskers traditional standards just yet. They had a scrimmage against Idaho State last week, and this week should be much tougher.  If this game were in Madison, I'd say the Badgers would win.  30-24 Nebraska.

#24 Broncos @ New Mexico - Boise won an ugly game against BYU last week 7-6.  It wasn't so much great defense as it was bad offense.  The Lobos won their in-state rivalry game last week, dropping New Mexico State 27-14.  The Broncos should have an easier time putting up some points this week.  35-13 Boise.

Games of Note

Penn State @ Illinois - Penn State took care of business against Temple last week, winning 24-13 but still making way too many mistakes.  Their D is still not very good, with plenty of receivers running open in the secondary.  Fortunately Temple's QB couldn't hit the ocean from the beach.  Against better teams, the Nittany Lions secondary is in trouble.  Could Illinois be that team?  The Illini got lit up against LA Tech last week, losing 52-24.  The Illini secondary may be worse than PSU's, but can PSU capitalize on it? PSU WR Allen Robinson is turning into one of the best WR's in the country as a true sophomore. How will he respond when teams start game planning to take him out of the passing game? 20-17 Penn State.

Golden Gophers @ Iowa - Iowa set a new low last week, giving up 9 points in the last 45 seconds to lose to Central Michigan 32-31.  Iowa is a mess on both offense and defense right now.  Meanwhile, the Golden Gophers are undefeated at 4-0.  It's not the Gophers are particularly good, it's just that everyone else they've played is worse.  24-7 Minnesota.

Arkansas @ Texas A&M - If Iowa is setting a new low, Arkansas has reached the Ninth Circle of Dante's Inferno. Appropriate that the ninth circle is for treachery considering Bobby Petrino's misdeeds and the Razorbacks program paying the price. Texas A&M may be in a new league, but they're still the same middling program.  The Aggies should be able to put up some points as they keep the Razorbacks train wreck of a season going for another week.  At this point, the only hope Arkansas has is getting Charlie Strong from Louisville this off season. 41-21 Aggies.

Va Tech v. Cincy -  Pop quiz hotshot.  Munchie Legaux is:
                                 A. The next Bond villain
                                 B. A french cartoon
                                 C. a porn star
                                 D. Cincy's starting QB

The Hokies bounced back nicely from their debacle against Pitt, beating Bowling Green easily last week, 37-0.  The schedule makers were nice to the Bearcats this year.  They don't leave Cincy until Oct. 20 when they travel to Toledo.  Are the Bearcats for real or just your typical Big East team that can't be a good team outside the conference?  27-24 Hokies.

(The answer is obviously D.)

Hoosiers @ Northwestern - Indiana is Indiana again this year.  Northwestern is undefeated and has a legit chance of winning the Big Ten this year.  If they can take care of business against the Hoosiers, the Wildcats will head to Happy Valley at 5-0 and will be the favorites in that game.  34-10 Northwestern.

Warhawks @ Green Wave -The Warhawks hung tough against Baylor last week, but just can't stop anyone from scoring.  The Green Wave can't score OR defend.  Look for the Warhawks to put up some big points against one of the worst D's in football.  55-13 Warhawks.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Week 4 Predictions

Week 4 already... why does college football season have to go by so fast?  It's like when stores start putting out seasonal items 2 months in advance.  Seriously, Wegman's had fall stuff out in the beginning of August.  C'mon!  What's the rush? 

I get it you want to get a jump on competitors, but when it's snowing and 20 degrees out in February, the last thing I'm looking to buy is a beach umbrella.  Likewise, when it's 90 and humid as hell, I'm not really looking for a pumpkin flavored coffee.  Speaking of pumpkin, are there no other flavors that we associate with autumn other than pumpkin?  EVERYTHING is pumpkin flavored! When is the last time you got hungry and said to yourself... "I could really go for a pumpkin right now."  One good thing about the pumpkin craze.... the plethora of pumpkin beers available!

Let's talk some football....

Top 25 Action
Florida Atlantic @ #1 'Bama - How dominant have the Tide been this year?  Alabama has outscored its opponents 128-14 and scored 94 points since the defense last gave up a point, with 14 seconds left in the third quarter in the opener against Michigan.  Still, Nick Saban will not be happy until his team is so dominant the BCS agrees to let his 1st team Defense play his 1st team Offense in the national championship game.  Forget a rematch against LSU or beating up a Pac 12 school, the real national championship game is Alabama v. Crimson Tide.  Two Sun Belt teams have beaten the mighty SEC this year.  Could the Owls pull off the upset of the century? According to Owls DE Cory Henry, yes!  According to everyone else, not so much. 45 - 0 Roll Tide.

#2 Tigers @ Tigers - Is "Tigers" the most common nickname in sports?  Were there mass Tiger sightings in the south back in the day or something?  Surprisingly, Tigers is only the 3rd most used nickname in college sports. The top two?  Eagles & Panthers.  Auburn escaped with a 31-28 win in OT against the fearless Warhawks last week.  LSU dominated Idaho 63-14.  Can Auburn stop LSU's 13th ranked rushing attack?  Can LSU get anything going through the air?  Can an 83 year old do a keg stand while tailgating?  Auburn could be 1-3, and 0-2 in the SEC if they can't find a way to pull off the upset at home.  37-17 LSU.

#22 Wildcats @ #3 Mighty Ducks - The desert heat seems to agree with RichRod.  After almost stumbling in their opening game against Toledo, the Wildcats have put up 59 and 56 points in the last two weeks respectively.  In fact, RichRod's much maligned D pitched a shut out last week against South Carolina State.  Meanwhile in Eugene, the Ducks are averaging a video game like 54 points per game. As impressive as that is, it's not nearly the best offensive performance in Oregon last week, check out the kid that put up 634 Yards, 10 TD's in one game!!!  Freshman QB Marcus Mariota has been outstanding, completing 75% of his passes and tossing 8 TD's with only 1 INT.  What do you think?  Last team with the ball wins?  52-49 Ducks. 

#10 Clemson @ #4 Seminoles - Jimbo Fisher's Seminoles have only allowed 3 points total this year.  That's right, through 3 games, the 'Noles have only given up a FG.  Their offense has been averaging 58.7 points per game too!  Are these 'Noles for real?  It's still hard to tell.  They played two FCS schools, which is always nice for padding stats.  Last week they destroyed the Demon Deacons 52-0.  This is FSU's first real test of the year. And unlike FSU's academics, they'll actually have to show up, and this class is not an easy A.  Clemson is a bit more battle tested, having beaten Auburn in their season opener.  The Tigers run a balanced offense that is one of the best in the nation.  Sophomore Sammy Watkins is back from his two game suspension.  Watkins blew up the 'Noles as a Freshman to the tune of 7 catches, 141 yards and 2 TD's.  Will Sammy be able to repeat that performance or will the 'Noles D continue to dominate?  34-24 Florida State. 

Commodores @ #5 Bulldogs - Vandy sits at 1-2 but has played tough in both losses.  The Commodores D has been steady, giving up 36 points through 3 games, including a tough 17-13 loss to open the season against South Carolina.  If Vandy can just figure out how to put some more points on the board, they could go bowling this season.  Vandy is in for a rough test this week against a Bulldogs offense that is averaging 47.3 points per game, good for 10th in the nation.  Granted those points came against relatively easy opponents, unless you consider Mizzou to be a tough game, which the SEC doesn't.  Respect must be earned, not given. Look for the Dawgs to struggle for a half before breaking through.  34-10 Georgia. 

#15 K-State @ #6 Sooners - As I said before, K State is a feast or famine program, and this year they are feasting like a honey badger on a snake.

Last week they had a hiccup in the first half against the Mean Green from North Texas, leading only 14-7 at the half, but turned it on in the second half and won 35-21.  Collin Klein has been one of the best QB's in college football thus far.  With all due respect to UTEP, this is the Sooners first real game of the year.  The Miners put a scare into the Sooners 24-7 to open the season.  OU then rolled over Florida A&M last week, but K State is no Florida A&M.  Can Landry Jones throw his hat in the Heisman ring, or will the Sooner faithful grow even more restless with Stoops?  30-24 Wildcats. 

Tigers @ #7 Gamecocks - Mizzou QB James Franklin didn't play last week because he refused to take a cortisone shot to relieve pain in his shoulder.  This lead to people questioning the QB's toughness, as if refusing to take a cortisone shot somehow makes you less of a man.  As Franklin explained, he avoids taking any pain killing medication, including aspirin. In today's football mad world, players are expected to play through injuries, and that includes taking pain killing drugs to do so.  What seems to be lost on fans is that cortisone simply masks the pain, which can lead to further injury.  I'm not saying one way or the other what Franklin should have done, but it's his body, and if he doesn't want to take a shot and can't play otherwise, that's his choice.  It's easy for fans to sit back on their coach with with beer and pizza and criticize the kid...
But this guy isn't putting his body at risk on every play and sustaining injuries that can last a lifetime.  Then again, with all those cheese curls in that bowl, maybe he is.  The Gamecocks QB is dealing with an injury of his own but Connor Shaw is expected to play.  Expect to see a heavy does of RB Marcus Lattimore as he rounds back into shape from injury. He is arguably one of the best backs in college football and the Gamecocks will need him to step up as they enter SEC play.  Do the Tigers start 0-2 in their new conference?  All signs point to yes.  34-20 South Carolina.   

Terrapins @ #8 Mountaineers - Geno Smith is on fire like a couch on a Saturday night in Morgantown! Anyone headed to Morgantown this week should use extreme caution when driving in...
G Smith has a ridiculous 88% completion rate to go along with 9 TD's and 0 INT's this  year, and even more stunning, he has yet to take a sack!  His Heisman campaign is in full swing.  Maryland has been a schizophrenic team this  year, almost losing to William & Mary, blowing out Temple, and getting dominated by UConn.  Just in case the Terrapins are ever good, and they actually win a big game, and people show up, and care that they win, and decide to storm the field, and head toward the goal posts... Maryland installed hydraulic goal posts.  Better to be safe than sorry?  Do the Terrapins snap at the Mountaineers or hide in their shells this week?  48-17 WVU.  Light 'em up!

#18 Michigan @ #11 Fightin' Irish - It's on like donkey kong in South Bend!  The Irish are 3-0 after a dominating defensive performance against Sparty in East Lansing last week.  The Irish offense hasn't gotten in gear yet, but the D has stepped up.  Say what you will about Brian Kelly's motivational tactics...
but he has his team playing well.  Irish fans are already proclaiming "WE ARE BACK BABY!  WE ARE BACK!!! WOO HOO!!" At 3-0 and with a tough schedule ahead, that may be premature.  D-Rob is like no other player the Irish D has faced this year.  He's literally a one man wrecking crew on offense and a threat to take it to the house on any play.  As 'Bama showed, if you shut down D-Rob, you shut down Michigan.  The question is, will the Irish D be able to contain that Wolverine?  27-20 Go Blue!

Cal @ #13 Trojans - Poor Lane Kiffin.  He was so upset that his team was yet again out played and out coached, he couldn't even talk about it.  Kiffin set a record for shortest press conference, clocking a mere 28 seconds. The lesson the media should learn?  Don't question Kiffin after yet another loss to Stanford that dashes his teams title hopes despite all the hype.  Now who will the talking heads at ESPN gush over outside of the SEC?  Who cares.
The Golden Bears gave Ohio State all they could handle in Columbus last week, coming up just short.  But if ever there was a moral victory for a team, this was it.  They outplayed the Buckeyes most of the game, and if they play with that same fire this week, Kiffin may set a new record for shortest press conference next week.  And oh yeah, all those play makers I was so high on last week, Barkley, Woods, & Lee, got shut down by Stanford.  Amazing what a team that takes pride in playing defense can do to players that looked unstoppable in previous weeks.  34-30 USC.  

Kentucky @ #14 Gators - Good news for Kentucky fans, basketball season is a little over a month away.  Will Joker Phillips still be the Wildcats HC by that time?  Are the Kentucky fans afraid of clowns? Has there ever been a creepier plea to rally a fan base?  Kentucky is reeling after a 32-31 OT loss to the in state RIVAL Western Kentucky Hilltoppers from the mighty Sun Belt!  WKU went Boise on the Wildcats ass, pulling out a HB throwback to the QB for the winning 2 point conversion. This week they must somehow pick themselves up and head to the swamp to take on a Gators squad that keeps getting better every week. Florida has won 2 road games in the SEC already, and finally get to play at home.  The Gators D has been solid all year, and the offense has been progressing under QB Jeff Driskel.  Fun fact, the last time Kentucky beat Florida in football, Ronald Regan was President and this Volleyball movie was the Top flick at the box office...

37-10 Gators. JEAH BRO
UAB @ #16 Buckeyes - UAB is bad in every facet of the game.  The Buckeyes were outplayed last week at home by the Golden Bears, but still came away with a 35-28 win. And in the "I'm surprised it took that long" department, Urban Meyer has declared Buckeyes QB Braxton Miller has more talent than Tebow.   Miller responded by dropping to one knee, putting his fist to his forehead and thanking the Buckeye boosters for "supporting" him. Braxton will earn his pay this week against the Blazers.  49-0 Ohio State.

Cavaliers @ #17 Horned Frogs - A week after the Cavaliers prevailed when PSU kicker Sam Ficken did his best Scott Norwood impression, the Cavs went out and crapped the bed against GA Tech, giving up 56 points to the Yellow Jackets. This week they head to the Lonestar State to take on TCU, who managed a measly 20 points against a terrible Kansas team last week, but only gave up 6.  The Cavaliers could be underrated while the Horned Frogs are over rated.  30-17 TCU. 

Beavers @ #19 Bruins -The Beavers have only played one game this year, their 10-7 upset of the Badgers.  That's quite a bit of rest for a team heading into the 4th week of the season.  UCLA has been on a roll. Heisman candidate Johnathan Franklin leads the 5th ranked ground game averaging over 300 yards per game.  The aerial assault is not far behind, ranking 19th in the nation.  Even the Bruins D has improved this year under first year coach Jim Mora, Jr.  UCLA has a favorable schedule, with their two toughest games against Stanford and USC coming at the end of the year.  Could the Bruins be crashing the BCS party?  Can someone in the media ask Jim Mora Jr about the BCS in the hopes that we get a "BCS!?  BCS!? Are you kidding me!?  BCS!?" quote form him ala Jim Sr.  31-17 Bruins.

#20 Louisville @ Florida Int'l - Teddy Bridgewater is one of the best QB's nobody has ever heard of, probably because he plays for Louisville, and Louisville plays in the Big Least.  Take notice, because Bridgewater has been lighting it up for 3 games now with 855 yards on an 81% completion percentage with 5 TD's and 0 INT's.  The Cardinals D almost blew it last week, giving up 20 fourth quarter points to the Tar Heels, but hung on for a 39-34 win.  HC Mario Cristobal has taken the Panthers from perennial doormat to... slightly less of a doormat.  His team still can't stop anybody. If Louisville knows nothing else, at least they know how to keep it classy while tailgating.


  54-17 Cardinals.

Directional Michigan @ #21 Sparty - Sparty got stomped by Notre Dame at home last week.

And just like that, Le'Veon Bell's Hesiman campaign is over.  It was only a matter of time before Sparty went back to being Sparty, that is a middle of the pack program that can't sustain success.  But by the way the Sparty fans brag, you'd think they were 'Bama.  45-10 Michigan State.

South Alabama @ #23 Miss State - To pledge the SEC fraternity, each school must be investigated by the NCAA, and Mississippi State desperately wants to be part of that frat! As they say in SEC country... the south will rise again, or is it "If you're not cheating, you're not trying"? If there is one thing the south knows how to do right, it's BBQ and tailgating. I'm no stranger to college football tailgating, and I'd put my team's tailgating up against any other school, but from the first hand accounts I have heard about southern tailgating, it's an experience unlike any other.  The Jaguars are new to big time southern tailgating, having just joined the FBS, and it will show this week.  45-3 Bulldogs.
 
BYU @ #24 Boise - Boise is coming off a convincing win against Miami(OH) after getting beat by Sparty to open the season.  You have to say this about Boise, they are not afraid to play anyone, anywhere, anytime.  BYU lost the Holy War to in state rival Utah last week.  BYU put up a valiant come back attempt in the 4th quarter scoring two TD's, but couldn't finish it off, losing 24-21.  Boise's D has been keeping them in games this year while their offense struggles.  Look for a low scoring game.  17-14 Broncos.

Edit: This game was played last night before I published this week's predictions and Boise won 7-6, which is an ever lower score than I predicted. Obviously.  

Idaho State @ #25 Nebraska - The Idaho State Bengals are 1-1 this year... who did they beat?  Black Hills State University.  Who?  Exactly. Some fun facts about BHSU, they were admitted to NCAA Div II athletics in 2010.  BHSU is located in Spearfish, South Dakota.  Their biggest rival is South Dakota School of Mines & Technology.  So there you have it, Black Hills State football exists.  The 'Huskers got back on track with a 42-13 drubbing of the Red Wolves last week.  This week should be even easier for the 'Huskers.  49-10.

Games of Note

Bowling Green @ Hokies - The Hokies didn't just shit the bed against Pitt last week, they had explosive diarrhea and woke up next to another dude.  VA Tech lost to previously winless Pitt 35-17 and the game wasn't even as close as that score indicates.  I don't know what's more embarrassing.... losing to Pitt or Gary Busey pole dancing...
Strip clubs are all fun and games until Gary Busey gets on the pole. 

Look for the Hokies to lick their wounds and bounce back against Bowling Green 34-20 this week.

Temple @ Penn State This is Temple's Super Bowl.  Win this game, and the previous 41 game losing streak to the Nittany Lions means nothing.  They can even lay claim to being the best program in PA if they pull this one out.  The Owls like to run the ball, with dual threat QB Chris Coyer leading the attack.  They better be able to run, because Coyer is only completing 41% of his passes this year.  This game will be weakness on weakness, as PSU's secondary is atrocious.  They have consistently allowed teams to convert 3rd and 4th & long this year.  The Owls are coming off a loss to Maryland last week, while Penn State finally got HC Bill O'Brien his first win, dominating Navy start to finish 34-7.  The Lions have improved every week, but are still not that good. When is the last time Penn State had ZERO rushing TD's through 3 games?  It doesn't help that PSU is down to it's 3rd and 4th string RB's due to transfers and injuries, but still.  ZERO! Fortunately the revamped passing offense has been WAY better, with true soph WR Allen Robinson leading the way with 24 receptions for 322 yards and 4 TD's.  PSU QB Matt McGloin has even looked pretty good so far.  It's amazing what a good coach can do for an offense.  Now, if the Nittany Lions D can ever stop anyone on 3rd down, they have a shot at a winning season.  27-17 Penn State. 

Hurricanes @ Yellow Jackets - If the Hurricanes play a game, and no Fans Show Up in Miami... does the NCAA still sanction them for violations? 

The Hurricanes held the first ever "Seat Out" in college football history.  Fans were encouraged to dress as empty chairs for their game against Bethune Cookman.  As you can see, the promotion was a resounding success.  A week after the team failed to show up against Kansas State, which lead to a former Miami player going on an epic rant after the Hurricanes loss, they took the field and beat Bethune Cookman 38-10.  Is there anything funnier than former "Da U" players ranting about their once proud program?  Do they understand the irony of calling their University "Da U"? Will the fans and/or team show up this week against the Yellow Jackets?  GA Tech pummelled Virginia last week 56-20.  The GA Tech offense is ranked 116th in passing and 3rd in rushing yardage per game.  That's as unbalanced as Amanda Bynes behind the wheel of a car. 35-14 Yellow Jackets.

Rutgers @ Arkansas - Oh John L. Smith.  How college football missed you.  We love you on that sideline.  We NEED you on that sideline.  Please win out this year so we can have more of you.  The Arkansas coach owes $27.5M after declaring bankruptcy. Which begs the question, how the hell did John L. Smith get $27.5M in the first place? QB Tyler Wilson called out his team for quitting, and the fans are turning on each other. On one side, the fans support former coach Bobby Petrino who they believe should not have been fired for having an affair with an employee he hired and then lying about it.  Because, you know, winning football games is more important than being faithful to your wife and telling the truth. #culture  On the other hand, fans think John L. Smith should be given a chance.  Just kidding, nobody likes John L. Smith.  Wilson will be back under center this week as the undefeated Scarlet Knights head to Fayetville.  How good is Rutgers?  Hard to tell since they haven't played anyone yet.  How embarrassing would it be for the SEC Razorbacks to lose to a Sun Belt and Big Least team in the same season?  24-20 Rutgers.


UTEP @ Wisky - Things are not good in Madison.  Their plan to bring in another team's QB every year after the success of Russell Wilson last year has exploded like cheese soup left in the microwave too long. The Badgers are benching Maryland transfer QB Danny O'Brien. Joe Stave, a former walk on, will start for the Badgers this week.  Montee Ball has already kissed his Heisman hopes goodbye.  Now the Badgers are just trying to win the Big Ten Leaders division, which shouldn't be difficult with Ohio State and Penn State being ineligible.  The Badgers narrowly escaped with a 16-14 win at home against Utah State after the Aggies missed a last second FG.  UTEP played OU and Ole Miss tough before finally getting into the win column last week against New Mexico State 41-28.  I can see this game being close for a half before the Badgers offense gets it going.  The Badgers D should have no problem handling UTEP.  24-10 Badgers.

Colorado @ Wazzu -How bad are things in Boulder?  Fresno State was up 55-7.... AT THE HALF!  The Bulldogs went on to win 69-14.  The Buffs surrendered in every conceivable way, giving up 664 yards total, including a 94 yard run, and 35 points in the 1st quarter alone.  There hasn't been a beat down like this since I dominated the #2 ranked minor circuit fighter Glass Joe in Mike Tyson's Punch Out!

To say Buffs HC Jon Embree is on the hot seat would be an understatement along the lines of saying jihadists aren't fans of Salman Rushdie.  The Colorado program is in complete disarray.  Meanwhile in Pullman, HC Mike Leach is putting his stamp on the Wazzu program.  The Cougars rank 28th in passing yards per game, and 121st in rushing.  Wazzu may not have the horses to compete in the triple crown  yet, but they'll show up every week and give you a race.  45-13 Wazzu. 

Upset of the Week

Baylor @ Warhawks - LA Monroe almost did it again last week, losing to Auburn in OT.  The Warhawks are playing inspired football so far this young season.  QB Kolton Browning is still flying under the radar despite the heroics of the last two games against the SEC.  If the Warhawks D ever learns how to stop anyone, they could be looking at a decent bowl game this year.  So far so good in the post RGIII era at Baylor.  Granted the Bears two wins have come against terrible teams, but it's good to have some wins to get the team some confidence.  This week will be much tougher.  If the Warhawks D can come close to stopping a dynamic Bears aerial attack, they have a fighting chance.  37-34 Warhawks. 


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Week 3 Predictions

Welcome to week 3... of college football scandals!  It seems like every week there is something new to test the NCAA's new found brass balls.  This week, two of the least likely schools are embroiled in controversy, while an SEC school lost to the Sun Belt.  Some old faces in new places are off to good starts, other new faces in old places not so much.  It's mid September and the question remains... how many national titles did Saban negotiate into his deal with the devil?

Let's get to some predictions....

Top 25 Action

#1 'Bama @ Arkansas - This WAS a top ten match up until the LA-Monroe Warhawks pulled off the upset of the young season last week, upending the Razorbacks 34-31 in OT and knocking QB Tyler Wilson out of the game.  In an all too perfect story to describe the state of the Razorback program, HC John L. Smith filed for bankruptcy this week.   'Bama HC Nick Saban was so upset with the media last week for over looking the Hilltoppers he gave them a tongue lashing.  And to show them just how wrong the media was for not showing Western KY any respect, 'Bama only covered HALF the spread, winning 35-0.  That's right, the Hilltoppers went scoreless and covered the spread by 35 points.  'Bama's D has given up 14 points total in two games. If Tyler Wilson plays... the Hogs will still have no shot. Roll Tide 34-10. 

#2 USC @ #21 Stanford - The Cardinal got right against the Blue Devils last week, putting up 50 and never being threatened.  'Cuse put up a spirited effort in the Meadowlands against the Trojans until the Men of Troy imposed their will in the second half.  QB Matt Barkley and WR Marquise Lee continued their Heisman campaigns.  Barkley went 23/30 for 187 and 6 TD's, 3 of which went to Lee.  The other two went to Robert Woods, who on any other team would be the best WR in the entire conference. Lee & Woods might be the two most talented WR tandem on any college team in the past decade. Only USC's defense, and the inevitable Lane Kiffin game day blunder, will keep them from playing in a BCS game, and possibly the championship.  45-24 Trojans.

Idaho @ #3 LSU - The Vandals have one of the worst ground games in college football and have already lost to FCS Eastern Washington.  LSU is averaging 279 yards per game on the ground and 41 points.  LSU could start Rob Bolden at QB and still win this game handily.  52 - 3 Geaux Tigers. 

TN Tech @ #4 Oregon - The Ducks are randomly drug testing their players now, after ESPN estimated that 40-60% of the players smoke weed.  Which begs the question, how many points would Chip Kelly's offense score if his players weren't in a Mary Jane infused stupor during the games?  Meanwhile, the undefeated TN Tech Golden Eagles are not intimidated.  I have no idea what kind of team TN Tech has because the only stats I can find on them is that their kicker is pretty good. 63-9 Ducks.

Wake Forest @ #5 FSU - The Demon Deacons may be the luckiest team in this young college football year.  They escaped the Tar Heels with a 28-27 win last week, after notching a 20-17 win against FCS Liberty in Week 1.  The going gets a little tougher as they head to Tallahassee this week.  FSU is now up to #5.  I'm not sure how we can consider the "Noles the 5th best team in the country when they haven't played an FBS team yet.  The 'Noles seem to have a case of O'Doyle Rules! but we still know nothing about this team.  If history is any guide, FSU is over rated.  29 - 24 FSU. 

Florida Atlantic @ #7 Bulldogs - The Owls are just not very good, but at least they aren't afraid to play someone.  They get the Bulldogs this week and take on 'Bama next week.  Georgia welcomed Mizzou to the SEC by handing them a loss in Columbia last week. This week should be a walk in the dog park for Mark Richt's crew.  49 - 6 Georgia.

Blazers @ #8 'Cocks - UAB likes to toss the pigskin around, but whether or not they are any good at it remains to be seen.  Have you ever pulled up to a red light with a mini-van right next to you?  You know when that light turns green, you can outgun that mini-van no problem, but that pesky mini-van insists on drag racing you to the next light.  No offense to mini-van drivers, but c'mon, why do you insist on racing the rest of us?  My SUV isn't the fastest vehicle on the road, but I clearly have more horsepower under the hood.  We respect the fact that you have to drive a mini-van for whatever reason.  We get it, it's functional for your needs, but unless you put a hemi in your mini-van just to screw with the rest of us (which I would totally respect!), you're never going to win the race.  Just do us all a favor and respect the fact that we're going to pull in front of you if we want, and we'll attempt to not laugh at you when you try to race us in your mini-van. In this case, UAB's D is that mini-van, the Gamecocks offense is the other car and RB Marcus Lattimore is the hemi under the hood.  UAB will try, but the Gamecocks just have too much horsepower for them to handle.  35-14 USCe. 

James Madison @ #9 Mountaineers - The Dukes are putting up some ridiculous offensive numbers against some ridiculously weak competition.  JMU has averaged 48.5 points per game so far, while the Mountaineers hung 69 on their in state rivals Marshall last week.  No need to light up the couches in Morgantown this week, save them for a tougher opponent, a Lazy-Boy will do just fine. 59-24 Mountaineers.

#20 Irish @ #10 Sparty - Notre Dame announced this week they will be joining the ACC in all sports... except football.  This is similar to what Mitt Romney did by joining the GOP on all issues.... except social & fiscal.  The Irish are fiercely defending their football independence, making them the William Wallace of college football. Whether or not Irish Football is eventually castrated, drawn & quartered by the BCS for defending their independence like Sir Wallace is yet to be determined.

The Irish escaped with a 20-17 win against the Boilermakers last week after Purdue's starting, 6th year Senior QB Robert Marve went down with a torn ACL again. The Irish offense struggled most of the day, finally putting the game away on a last minute drive led by backup QB Tommy Rees that ended with the go ahead FG with 7 seconds left.  Meanwhile Sparty handled Directional Michigan easily and is clearly the class of the Big Ten, which is like being the skinniest kid at fat camp.

Speaking of Americans propensity to exponentially expand our waist lines, could this have something to do with it?



If you think the Doritos Taco  is some fad, think again! It is, in fact, Taco Bell's most successful new product in El Bell de Taco's history, selling over 200 million since March!  Game on America!  What's next?  Cheetos soup? If you have room for dessert after this tasty morsel, might I suggest...


Finally someone has turned those disgusting candies that every kid HATED finding at the bottom of his Halloween bag into an Oreo cookie.  What will they think of next?  Oh yeah!  A new way to rid yourself of all those extra pounds from the aforementioned foods...

New Weight Loss Program - which leads to a unique chicken or the egg question about why porn stars are skinny. 

Oh!  And the Big Ten sucks this year.  34-24 Irish.

Furman @ #11 Clemson - The Tigers are 2-0 including a neutral site win over Auburn in their opener.  Furman is 0-2. Did you know Furman's nickname is the Paladins?  Neither did I.  Do you know what Paladins are?  Neither did I.  Way too early for Clemson to start their inevitable collapse. 52 - 3 Clemson.

Golden Bears @ #12 Buckeyes - The Golden Bears D gave up 31 points to FCS opponent Southern Uta last week.  Fortunately for the Bears, the Thunderbirds D was even worse, giving up 50.  The Buckeyes are at home again, their 3rd of 4 straight home games to open the season, with this game being their, ahem, toughest.  Then again, the Big Ten sucks this year so no game is a gimme.  Team Urbz 31 - Bears 17

#13 Hokies @ Mark May U - How bad is Pitt?  This is what the Hokies will say when they arrive in Pittsburgh -


34 - 10 Hokies.

#14 'Horns @ Ole Miss - Both teams are 2-0, neither team has played a good team yet.  The Rebels are 9th in the nation in rushing after plowing through cupcakes.  If they can get their ground game going against Texas's tough D, they may have a shot.  The 'Horns also like to run the ball, but mostly because their passing game is not up to par just yet.  This one will be closer than we think.  27 - 21 Texas. 

Mean Green @ #15 K-State - Well I completely crapped the bed on K-State last week.  K-State turned the Hurricanes into tropical depressions, to the tune of 52-13.  The Wildcats are AVERAGING 51.5 points on offense.  This is their last tune up before a possible top ten match up at Oklahoma next week. The Mean Green can just hope to give up less than 50.  49-7 K-State.

#16 Horned Frogs @ Jayhawks - TCU has only played one game, beating Eddie Robinson U 56-0.  Meanwhile in Lawrence, Fatty Weiss's first year as HC of the Jayhawk program has not gone as planned.  Kansas lost at home to Rice 25-24 last week.  Fortunately for the Jayhawks, Charlie Weiss has found his favorite place to eat in Lawrence:

Can TCU over come the Jayhawks decisive schematic advantage and win their inaugural Big XII conference game?  Ummmm... yeah.  35-17 Horned Frogs.

UMass @ #17 Wolverines - The Minutemen have been outscored 82-6 this season, so I'd rather talk about how skullets are back in a big way.

Missing from this pic is the girl that was half his age whom he left with.  Yep.  That happened.  Women dig skullets.  Who knew. 

D-Rob has something like 75% of Michigan's entire offensive output this year. Remember the kid on the playground you'd always want on your team for pickup football games when you were a kid because he was faster than everyone?  That's D-Rob.  He even lost a shoe and took one to the house last week.  They should make him wear a hoodie so at least you might be able to tackle him from behind.  God I hated getting tackled by my hood as a kid.  56 - 3 Wolverines.

#18 Gators @ #23 Volunteers - The Gators welcome A&M to the SEC by doing what the Big XII used to do, beating them on their home field.  The Gators head to Knoxville this week for their second SEC road game in a row.  The Volunteers burning of Lane Kiffin in effigy before the season seems to have worked.  They are ranked and 2-0 after beating up on Georgia State last week.  Things get a bit tougher this week for Dooley's crew.  The Volunteers have been airing it out this season, while Florida prefers the ground game, even thought it's average at best.  Can the Gators make it two in a row on the road in the SEC?  Nope. 23-17 Volunteers.

Tar Heels @ #19 Louisville - The scandal ridden Tar Heels lost at home by 1 point last week to Wake Forest.  Speaking of scandals, two more scandals broke out this week at two of the most unlikely of places

Harvard Cheating Scandal - 2 senior co-captains of Harvard's bball team withdrew from school amidst allegations of widespread academic fraud.  Good thing for Harvard the NCAA has no jurisdiction over academic fraud as evidenced by the UNC academic fraud case. Harvard also has no legendary coach or big time football program that people care about, so there is definitely no need for sanctions.

But uh oh!  Just down tobacco road another scandal is brewing, and this one does involve a legendary coach and a big time bball program that people care about...

Duke Jewelry Scandal  - Of course Coach K is being given the benefit of the doubt that he didn't know about the kid getting the jewelry, and it's plausible that he did not.  In a similar situation, when the NCAA learned of improper benefits at Ohio State with Terrell Pryor and company, and Jim Tressell lied to the NCAA to keep his player eligible, they still allowed his players to participate in the BCS game for fear of making the game less watchable.  If there is one thing the NCAA will not do, it's hit themselves in their own pocket books.  Normally if a player is ruled ineligible but played in games, any games that player participated in would be vacated, that would include Duke's 2010 national championship.  In this case, I am sure the NCAA will find a way to lack jurisdiction over the matter to avoid having to harm Coach K's program. 

Two more scandals that directly impact college athletics.  I wonder what odds Vegas has on Mark Emmert and the NCAA doing anything about either one of them. 

Charlie Strong has the Cardinals playing well so far this season, which means it's only a matter of time before he bolts the Big East for an SEC or ACC job.  37-14 Louisville.

Cougars @ #22 Bruins - The post Case Keenum era has not gone well in Houston thus far.  After an opening game loss to Texas State, the Cougars fired their offensive coordinator.  Last week the Cougars put up 49 points against LA Tech, but gave up 56.  Perhaps it's the Defensive coordinators turn this week?  On the flip side, the Jim Mora Jr. era has gone exceedingly well thus far.  The Bruins are 2-0, putting up 42 points per game, and RB Johnathan Franklin is getting some Heisman buzz.  It's safe to say there has not been a buzz like this around the Bruin program since Cade McNown was taking snaps under center in the late 90's.  45 - 13 Bruins.

S Car State @ #24 Arizona - After almost blowing their opening game to the Toledo Rockets, RichRod & company bounced back last week hanging 59 on T. Boone Pickens University.  Sure, they gave up 38 points, but RichRod is not one to lose sleep over defense, so who cares. South Carolina State has a football team.  That's all I know about them.  59 - 20 Wildcats

#25 Cougars @ Utes - The Holy War!  Speaking of holy, what would John Smith think of the five high school football players from DeMatha that were kicked off their team for procuring the services of a prostitute? All 5 were immediately offered scholarships by Miami.

Football independence has been treating the Cougars well thus far.  They are 2-0 heading into this game, with a balanced offense and a defense that has only given up 19 points total.  As for the Utes, I correctly picked them to lose to their in state rivals Utah State last week.  The Utes have looked like anything but the BCS buster that was so highly ranked just a few season ago before they joined the Pac-12.  You think the Pac-12 would like a do-over in conference expansion?  Utah and Colorado have been less than good since joining the conference. Especially Colorado. The Utes will fall to 1-2 before opening conference play at AZ State next week.  35-13 Cougars.

Games of Note

Rutgers @ South Florida - The Scarlet Knights are 2-0 after playing... nobody.  Rutgers shut out the Howard Bison 26-0 last week.  This week, they head south to take on South Florida, where they'll be playing in the same stadium their former HC Greg Schiano currently calls home on Sundays.  The Bulls eked out a 1 point win against Nevada at home last week. It seems like Bulls QB B.J. Daniels has been at South Florida for as long as the program  has existed.  This year he leads the 25th ranked passing attack as they attempt to hand new Rutgers HC Kyle Flood his first loss in his old boss's new stomping grounds.  27 - 17 Bulls.

Ark State @ Nebraska - The Huskers first trip to the Rose Bowl as a Big Ten member did not go as planned last week. The vaunted Blackshirts D allowed Johnathan Franklin 217 yards rushing, but not to be a one trick pony, they also gave up 305 yards and 4 TD's through the air to RS-FR QB Brett Hundley in a 36-30 loss to UCLA.  The Red Wolves gave Oregon a run for their money, putting up 34 points on the Ducks in week 1, and followed that up with a win 33-28 win against Memphis.  What does all the mean?  I have no idea.  The Red Wolves can score, but can't defend.  44-24 Huskers.

LA-Monroe @ Auburn - Much like when a naked Asian man jumps out of your trunk and beats you with a tire iron, Arkansas did not see the Warhawks coming last week.

LA-Monroe pulled off the "Shock in Little Rock" last week, knocking the Razorbacks from the top 25 and cementing John L. Smith's "interim" head coach status.  The Warhawks are 22 point dogs to a Auburn team that is still searching for another once in a lifetime QB to take them back to the title game.  Unfortunately the going rate for franchise QB's has gone up since Cam Newton left town. Auburn sits at 0-2 after a loss to conference rival Miss St last week.  How bad was Auburn's offense?  The Bulldogs D knew where the play was going after cracking Auburn's offensive signals.  Ouch. Can the SEC still claim to be the greatest conference in the history of man kind if they lose two in a row to the Warhawks?  27-13 Tigers.

Navy @ Nittany Lions - That Ficken kicker!!!  The Nits much maligned kicker, Sam Ficken, went 1-4 on FG's, including a 20 yard shank and a botched game winner, and to add insult to injury, went 1-2  on XP's, the miss due to a freshman that forgot you actually have to block people at the FBS level, even on XP's.  The Nits now sit at 0-2 after two gut wrenching losses and have allowed 18/20 3rd down conversions in the 4th quarters, including letting the Cavaliers convert a 3rd & 16 on the game winning drive last week.  Ouch.  After getting hammered BY the Irish instead of WITH the Irish in Dublin to open their season, Navy apparently had to sail back from the Emerald Isle and therefore had a bye last week.  The Midshipmen run the triple option that's like the fat girl of college football offenses.  It looks fun but you wouldn't want your friends to see you running it.  And like when a fat girl gets on top, this offense is tough to stop when it gets going.  PSU seems to be snake bitten this year.  Who knows what can go wrong for the Lions this week.  Punt block returned for a TD?  Fumbling just before crossing the goal line?  Giving up 100% of 3rd down conversions in the 4th quarter?  Allowing Navy to pass for 300 yards?  21-17 Nittany Lions. 

Texas A&M @ SMU - A&M has proclaimed itself the "Best academics & cleanest program in the SEC".

Which is literally like a prostitute proclaiming herself "The cleanest whore in the brothel!"

And like said whore, the Aggies got nailed in their own house, losing to the Gators at home 20-17.  As far as academics, apparently A&M is not aware they now play in the same conference as Vanderbilt.  You'll have to forgive the Aggies, after so many years of playing second fiddle to Texas, they aren't used to this trash talking stuff yet.  Aggies 29 - Mustangs 20.

Upset of the Week

Northern Iowa @ Iowa - The Hawkeyes & Cyclones combined for 15 points last week, setting offenses back decades in the Hawkeye state.  To put that in perspective, Auburn scored more points than Iowa, even when the opposing team knew exactly what plays Auburn was running.  Northern Iowa hung tough with the Badgers in their opener, and then dropped Central State 59-0 last week.  "Central State" is about as general a school name as you can possibly have.  Only Directional State could possibly be more general.  I'm not even sure that school exists since they don't even have a clickable link. This sounds like a school that may want to get in touch with Florida State for future scheduling purposes.  Will the Panthers emerge victorious in their second game against a Big Ten foe?  17-13 Northern Iowa.


Lastly, the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks was this week.  As we remember all those that perished in the attacks, including the first responders that selflessly rushed to help people trapped in the towers, and as we thank our brave men & women of our armed forces that have protected us both at home and abroad since the attacks, if you haven't read about The Man in the Red Bandana... do yourself a favor and check this out. You'll be glad you did.