It’s that time of year again….
The southern states are in the paths of Hurricanes, the Midwestern
and Pacific states are ablaze with forest fires, and the northeast… to be
honest the weather is pretty nice here in the northeast.
Soon enough though, the leaves will begin to change, the
temperatures will drop, and entire Saturdays will be lost to watching 18-22
year olds play a game most of us now play from the comfort of our couches on
high-def flat screens.
Yes, it’s college football season. Hallelujah! And
man what an off season it’s been.
The off season has been covered ad nauseum by anyone with an opinion, so
let’s get onto the grid iron with some Week 1 predictions…
The season kicks off on Thursday, Aug 30th with
an entire slate of games from an SEC match up, to a few programs making their
FBS debuts….
Top 25 Action
Hawaii @ #1 USC – Looks like the NCAA’s sanctions against
USC for the Reggie Bush scandal failed to have the desired affect. The Trojans come off their sanctions
ranked #1 in the country and are loaded.
I’m not sure what message that sends, but the NCAA clearly sucks at
changing cultures of big time programs.
The problem for USC is what player to promote for the Heisman. Barkley
& Woods kick off their campaigns in grand fashion. Hawaii is happy to visit
the mainland and let USC fans know they go to school somewhere with better
weather than SoCal. 59 – 10
Trojans.
#8 Michigan v. #2 ‘Bama – Finally! Two programs not afraid
to play a tough game early! This
game will be played at Jerry Jones House in Arlington, TX. The Wolverines bring the electric QB
Denard Robinson to the Lonestar State to face ‘Bama’s NFL caliber D. ‘Bama loses Heisman finalist Trent
Richardson, but always seems to reload on in the backfield. AJ McCarron returns for his 2nd
season as the trigger man for the Tide offense. It only took 1 season for Brady Hoke to take Michigan from
the RichRod debacle to the BCS.
Can he maintain that success in his second season or did he set the bar
too high? Go Blue! 23 – 21 Wolverines!
North Texas @ #3 LSU – Honey Badger don’t care! But he
should have. From Heisman finalist
to rehab in a matter of months?
Somewhere, Lawrence Taylor sheds a tear and says, “I feel you son!” Has
there ever been such a highly ranked team with such a quandary at QB? LSU is so desperate they even took PSU
3rd stringer Rob Bolden!
That’s right, the kid was 3rd string coming out of spring
practice, behind a kid who was a former walk on and another who hasn’t played
in a game in 2 years. Yet, LSU saw
him as a good option. You have to
wonder if they ever watched his tape.
Fortunately for the Tigers, Honey Badger wasn’t even their best DB, and
the D will still be as stout as a 350lb man at a buffet. Tigers 32 – 0.
#4 Sooners @ UTEP – OU finished 10-3 last season, but that’s
not good enough for the Sooner Nation.
They want BCS titles dammit!
Landry Jones flirted with the NFL, but came back and is one of the best
QB’s in college football. Simply
put, OU is loaded on offense. The
Sooners will put up points, but to return to the BCS title game, their D has to
be able to stop some teams. Did
you know this is Mike Price’s 9th season in El Paso? You think Tide fans have ever been so
happy to see a guy take a stripper back to his hotel? I wonder what ever happened to that stripper. Sooners 47 – UTEP 14.
Red Wolves @ #5 Ducks – Gus Malzahn takes over the Sun Belt
Champs and brings his spread offense with him. The Red Wolves went undefeated in the Sun Belt and won 10
games last year with a high octane offense. The Ducks know a thing or two about high octane offenses
after averaging 46 points per game last season. Chip Kelly must first settle on a QB after losing Darron
Thomas to graduation. The RB
position has some depth even with the loss of LaMichael James. Kenjon Barner & dual threat RB/WR
De’Anthony Thomas return and both have big play ability. This also supports my theory that if
you add “La” or “De” to any first name, that kid is three times more likely to be
a good athlete. Michael James
would be a marketing major, but La Michael James plays for the 49ers! Anthony
Thomas would be a plodding RB bust out of Michigan, but De’Anthony Thomas is an
explosive weapon for a high powered offense! 63 – 24 Ducks!
Buffalo @ #6 Georgia – Richt is on the hot seat for not
being as successful as the rest of the SEC. Such is life with southern speed. If you don’t have enough
of it, you get left behind. Only
an SEC Championship will satisfy the UGA faithful it seems. The ‘Dawgs have one of the best QB’s in
the country in Aaron Murray. They
did kick their best RB off the team though. Buffalo is, well, Buffalo. Can you imagine the dedication it takes for Bulls fans to
attend their home games in December?
I’m freezing just thinking about it. ‘Dawgs 35 – Bulls 17
Murray State @ #7 Florida State – Another year, another FSU
squad starting the season in the top 10.
We’ve seen this movie before, and like the remake of Judge Dredd, it
still stinks. If this were the
NCAA tourney, I’d be picking the Racers all the way. But unfortunately for Murray State, this game will be on the
grid iron. Quick, who can name
where Murray state is located without googling it? 38 – 6 ‘Noles.
#9 Gamecocks @ Vandy – Despite having a culture that
emphasized academics and playing in the SEC, the Commodores played good, tough
football last year and finished with a 6-7 record. They are led by the baby brother of a Super Bowl winning QB. Will Jordan Rodgers follow in his
brother’s foot steps? Can he
become the next Eli and win more Super Bowls than his big bro? Star RB Marcus Lattimore is back from
injury to anchor The Ole Ball Coach’s offense this year, but it’s the ‘Cocks D,
including true Soph and freak of nature DE Jadeveon Clowney, that will lead the
way again. 27 – 13 USCe.
Jacksonville State @ #10 Arkansas – The John L. Smith era
begins! Simultaneously, they are laughing hysterically in East Lansing. The
Razorbacks have some NFL talent on offense with RB Knile Davis, back this year
from injury, and All-SEC QB Tyler Wilson. I know little to nothing about
J-State. 54 – 13 Razorbacks.
Marshall @ #11 W Virginia – Can the Friends of Coal Bowl
(seriously, that’s what it’s called) really be a rivalry if one side has NEVER
won? Could this be the year the
Thundering Herd pull off the upset?
Nope. LIGHT UP THE COUCHES!
37 – 17 Mountaineers.
Northern Iowa @ #12 Wisky – Seriously Badgers? C’mon. You can’t proclaim your domination when you open with a
cupcake that plays in the FCS. That’d
be like talking shit on Joey Chestnut after one hot dog. Wisky starts another
transfer QB this year. Rumor is
they’ll be targeting whomever PSU has at QB for next. Why recruit and develop QB’s when you can have another team
do it for you? Another easy pre-season win for the Badgers. 49 – 10.
#24 Boise @ #13 Sparty – Boise beefs up their Non-conf
schedule in anticipation of weakening their conference schedule by joining the
Big East. Sparty is riding the
high water mark of their program for all it’s worth. The Little Brother is getting a big ego in East
Lansing. Early season road game
against a highly ranked opponent?
Sounds like exactly what Boise ordered. Boise 30 – Sparty 27.
#14 Clemson v. Auburn – Tigers v. Tigers in the Georgia
Dome! Who knew there were so many tigers roaming around the south back in the
day? We last saw Clemson
constantly picking the wrong D in Tecmo Bowl and giving up 70 points. It’s way too early for Clemson’s annual
late season melt down. Auburn is
still basking in their ‘Bama Sandwich national title. They really start them early in SEC country. Auburn’s #1 rated DT recruit, Dee Liner
– Muscle Shoals, AL, is suspended from his high school team indefinitely for
off field incidents. Auburn has
considered pulling it’s offer, but since the kid is highly rated and another
SEC school would offer him, they’ll stick with this kid. Better to have and suspended than to
not have had at all. #culture Clemson 30 – Auburn 24
Wyoming at #15 Texas – Mack Brown finally settled on David
Ash as his QB. Now the kid has to
play like a starter. Texas’s D has
not been a problem, and they look to be one of the best in the nation again
this year. The problem since Colt
McCoy left town has been the offense.
8 wins seasons get you on the hot seat in Austin. Everything is bigger in Texas,
especially the culture of college football. If Mack Brown doesn’t take the ‘Horns to a BCS game this
year, his seat will be hotter than a west Texas bbq. Wyoming’s nickname is the Cowboys.
GA Tech @ #16 VA Tech – a college version of Monday Night
Football before the NFL kicks off!
The Yellowjackets bring their option offense north to battle the Hokies
and stud QB Logan Thomas. The
Hokies always seems to be solid on offense and excel on special teams. Thomas will be playing on Sundays next
year and leads a good but not great Hokie offense. Long time Coordinator Bud
Foster’s D will once again be the bread & butter of the Hokies. Though thin the secondary, the unit is
still one of the best in the country.
GA Tech finished 2nd in rush yards per game last year… and
112th in passing. To
say they are one dimensional would be like saying Kristen Stewart can’t
act. It’s painfully obvious to
anyone that has watched either for 5 minutes. Hokies 33 – Yellowjackets 27.
Southern Miss @ #17 Nebraska – the ‘Huskers return a
talented backfield of Taylor Martinez and Rex Burkhead. I’m still not sure how a QB can be
labeled a “dual threat” if they are not capable of reading a defense on a pass
play. QB’s that can’t run are
pocket passers, so what should QB’s that can’t pass be called? Fanny Pack Passers since they should
only be used to run? Southern Miss
has a new coach and Brett Favre is still an alum. So they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. 27 – 17 Huskers.
Miami (OH) @ #18 Buckeyes – And so it begins… the Urban
Meyer era of Buckeye football.
Will this marriage be more like Kurt & Goldie or Kim &
Kris? Hard to say right now, but
what we do know is Urbz has to at least equal the success of his predecessor or
he’ll be on the hot seat very quickly.
OSU will try to create Tebow 2.0, but this version has less of a cult
following but has not upgraded the passing ability. If Braxton Miller ever learns how to be a QB instead of a RB
that throws a ball, lookout! Miami does have some talent at QB in NFL prospect
Zak Dysert, but the talent around him is not on par with the Buckeyes D. Look
for the NCAA to sanction Miami (OH) any day now for the Miami (FL) scandal. The NCAA doesn’t care about facts; one
Miami is just as good as another. 31 – 13 Buckeyes.
Savannah State @ #19 Okie State – Okie State loses 1st
round picks WR Blackmon and QB Weeeden.
Will the Cowboys be reloading or rebuilding this year? That question will have to be answered at
a later date. We won’t learn anything in this exhibition game. 63 – 14 Cowboys.
Other Sparty @ #21 Stanford – This year begins the real
transition for Stanford football.
They produced without Harbaugh last year, but now must do so without
arguably the best QB to set foot on campus since Elway. There is still some talent on the
Cardinal and they’ll continue to be well coached, but is there enough to take
down USC and Oregon in the Pac 12?
San Jose State needs a Silicon Valley billionaire to be their version of
Phil Knight if they ever hope to maintain any success. 45 – 7 Stanford.
Mizzou State @ #22 K-State – K-State is the off meds manic
depressive of college football.
The program either wins 10 games or 2. Feast or famine, there is no in
between in little Manhattan.
K-State returns true dual threat QB Collin Klein, who rushed for 1,141
yards and 27 TD’s last season and added 1,918 yards and 13 TD’s through the
air. As long as he stays healthy,
K- State should contend in the watered down Big XII this year despite a porous
D. 37 – 13 K-State.
Bowling Green @ #23 Florida – Tebow!!! Ok, now that that’s out of the way,
this Florida program has been in disarray since Urbz, ahem, “health problems”
caused him to spend more time with his family by hitting the TV studios for a
year before getting back on the sidelines. Lots of quality time spent with family in those studios I’m
sure. Meanwhile the Gators are still
searching for a QB. If they ever settle on one, look for the offense to get
rolling. The D should be
solid. Gators 24 – 3
Kentucky @ #25 Louisville – The Battle of the Bluegrass
State! Charlie Strong enters his 3rd season at the helm of the
Cardinals after back to back 7-6 season.
True Soph QB Teddy Bridgewater is back after an inconsistent Freshman
season. The Cardinals D was solid
last season ranking #26 in the nation.
If the offense can improve and the D keeps pace, the Cardinal may be
looking at a 10 win season. As for
the Wildcats, life would be better if Coach Cal could recruit for the football
team too. Kentucky’s offense was
atrocious last season and they still managed to win 5 games, 2 in the SEC. On the bright side, they can’t get much
worse on offense… and basketball season is only a few months away! 24 – 7 Louisville.
Games of Note
Ohio @ Penn State – For the first time since, my god, WWII?
PSU will not have a Paterno on the sideline. New coach, new uniforms, new offense, it’s a brand new day
in Happy Valley!! Also gone is PSU’s archaic offense. Bill O’Brien is installing a modern offense, one that
actually game plans to put the players in the best position to succeed. It’s a breath of fresh air to not have
JayPa calling idiotic plays and not allowing our QB to audible out of it even
though the D was calling out the play as they broke the huddle. There will be some major growing pains
and the loss of the leading rusher and receiver from last year will hurt, but
there are plenty of kids that are stepping up that will make up that
production. The D should still be
solid, if not more aggressive. The
secondary is razor thin and will be vulnerable all season. Ohio won 10 games last year and is no
slouch. They have a very good QB
Tyler Tettleton. He’ll challenge
the secondary early and often. If
his line can protect him, he’ll have success. Look for a low scoring game that will come down to a 4th
quarter possession. Penn State 20
– 17.
‘Nova @ Temple – the Battle of Philadelphia! Temple is back in a BCS conference…
don’t laugh! How do you think
Boise felt when they found out they’d be playing Temple? ‘Nova is contemplating a move to FBS
football. This game will determine
bragging rights for the entire city… until basketball season. 27 – 20 Owls.
Notre Dame v. Navy – The Emerald Isle Classic will be played
in Dublin, IR. Have the Irish
citizens been demanding to see this game?
Or is it just another reason to drink? What if there is a soccer game the same day, will anyone
show up for this game? Do they
realize “Notre Dame” is actually French?
The Irish have named Everett Golson as their starting QB, earning him
the right to be screamed at by an overweight, red faced leprechaun every
game. Brian Kelly said it was a
tough decision, but he really enjoyed going ape shit on Golson more so than
Hendrix or Rees. As for Navy, 4th
in rushing 119th in passing last year. So you know what’s coming, but can the Irish defense stop
it? Midshipmen 34 – 30.
UTSA Roadrunners @ South Alabama – Both programs are
newborns in the world of FBS football.
UTSA appears on track to compete with the big boys soon, after giving
two players the “Honey Badger” treatment upon their arrest for aggravated
robbery. I’m sure the NCAA
will impose some type of sanctions to officially welcome them to big time
college football. You’re nobody in
college football until the NCAA has hammered you! South Alabama has a team, but that is literally all the news
there is about their program. Jaguars
37 – Roadrunners 17.
UMass @ UConn – The Minutemen haven’t had this much
publicity since Marcus Camby and Coach Cal ruled their hardwood back in the
90’s. The Minutemen will have
their home games in Gillette Stadium, an hour drive from their actual campus.
That’ll make for some interesting tailgating. Meanwhile, the buzz around UConn
continues to be how they somehow made it to a BCS game a few years ago. 32 – 10 Huskies.
Youngstown State @ Pitt – This is basically a neutral sight
game for the Penguins, if not a home game. Being that Youngstown is not far from Pittsburgh, and Pitt
fans only care about playing Penn State, there’s a solid chance there will be
more Youngstown fans in the seats than Panther fans. Pitt has another head
coach for what seems like the 10th season in a row. This time, Paul Chryst leads a moribund
program mired in mediocrity since Lance Armstrong was riding a Big Wheel and
Tim Tebow was nothing more than a glimmer in God’s eye. This is my upset special of the
week! 27 -24 Y’Town!
