NFL Draft Predictions

I know you're all starved for some of my predictions, so here's a taste, just a little bit to wet your beak and hold you over until the fall. 

It's that time of year where we get to witness our favorite college players landing the high paying jobs we all hoped for right out of college.  

The day where the hopes and dreams of NFL franchises are made and broken. A day where all fan bases are optimistic about the future, even Browns fans.  

The day where Roger Goodell shakes the hands of 32 kids that he hopes will make his league billions of dollars, and then watches as 222 more kids that are not worthy of shaking his hand get drafted into his league. 

The day where fans wait with bated breathe for each name announced, in the hope that their team will find the next Tom Brady in the 6th round while avoiding the next JaMarcus Russell in the 1st.  

The day where every team in the league passes on Victor Cruz, but Troy Williamson goes 7th overall.  

The day where the very last player drafted gets a trophy. 

Yes, today is the spectacle that is the NFL Draft... and here are 20 predictions for it.... 

1. No matter who the Jets pick, the camera will cut immediately from the stage to the balcony where a bunch of drunk Jets fans will boo the shit out of whomever is shaking hands with Goddell on the stage. 

2. Mel Kiper's hair will not move.  Ever. 

3. Chris Berman will try some new shtick with nicknames in the hopes of remaining relevant for at least another year. 

Berman will then be mugged by four former Alabama football players, providing them with enough funding to start a small business.  The SEC boosters will take note of this NCAA loophole and start carrying around "Bermans". 

4. Manti Te'o will bring Len'a Kekua with him on stage when the Jets draft him. 

Jets fans will then come to a horrible realization... 

6. The Raiders will draft a kid at least 2 rounds higher than his rating suggests.  Or trade for Tebow.  Maybe both. 

7. Adam Schefter will have better information than anyone else, including the NFL GM's.  The guy is like the Woodward & Bernstein of the NFL.  

8. The Browns will do something stupid.  

9. Jerry Jones will get more camera time than any player the Cowboys draft.  

10.  Eagles fans will boo Geno Smith, otherwise they will be optimistic between now and September 9th,  they will then revert to their natural state of hating their own team. 

11.  Roger Goodell will have at least 3 awkward moments on stage. 

12.  Honey Badger will light one up to celebrate being drafted by the Lions.  

He will receive a congratulatory phone call from Charles Rogers.  

13.  Tim Tebow will be talked about more than any Jets draft pick.  The media will ignore the real story, Tebow's girlfriend. 

14.  An NFL player will come out of the closet on stage at the draft. 

15.  John Clayton will prove once again that you can be successful without ever leaving your parents house. 

16. There will inevitably be a debate about the QB's that will refer to Ryan Leaf. 

17. Bill Belichick will agree to an interview and just stare at the camera. 

18. With the clock winding down, the Raiders will pick the player with the fastest 40 time from the NFL combine left on the board. Congratulations to Texas WR Marquise Goodwin. The Raiders will employ this strategy in every round of the draft. 

19. This will be the only positive reference to a "Bust' for the next 3 days. 

20.  Saturday night millions of grown men will spend hours updating their Madden rosters to accurately reflect the draft results... and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that no matter what our wives or girlfriends say.