Week 5 Predictions

Who predicted  HC Cousin Eddie taking down the Mad Hatter and LSU in Baton Rouge?

Yup. For two weeks in a row now, in this very space, I've correctly predicted the big upsets!

So I guess you could say I'm streaking!

I bet you were expecting an Old School reference.

I wouldn't want to disappoint you so here you go...

... and like Frank, I too think it tastes so good when it hits your lips.

One of the better Oktobefests I've tried.

Let's talk some football...

Top 25 Action 

#1 Florida State @ NC State - The 'Noles upped Winston's suspension from a half to an entire game against Clemson....

And even without Bubba Winston and his Crab Shack, FSU somehow, miraculously, survived, but they needed OT to dispatch of Clemson. But FSU's QB was not the story in this game.  Instead Dabo Swinney, who apparently wears tighty whities...

switched QB's at the half, benching SR Cole Stoudt in favor of true freshman Deshaun Watson.

Clemson was up 17-10 late in the 4th quarter until WR Rashad Greene, one of the best in the nation, broke loose for a 74 yard TD to tie the game at 17.  The 'Noles recovered a Clemson fumble in their own territory with 2 minutes left in regulation, and then HC Dabo Swinney for some reason passed up a 33 FG try in OT on Clemson's first possession and went for it on 4th and 1.  FSU stuffed the run, and a few plays later scored the game winning TD.

So now the question becomes, if you can't beat FSU without Winston, can anyone in the ACC beat them WITH Winston?

34-13 Florida State

LA Tech @ #5 Auburn - Auburn had been averaging 52 points per game but struggled on the road in little Manhattan.  The Wildcats gave the Tigers everything they could handle but Auburn held on for a 20-14 win.

LA Tech lost to an FCS school last week.  Auburn can look ahead to their meeting with LSU on October 4th.  If they wan win that game they'll be making a push...

... for the playoffs.

52-6 Auburn

Arkansas @ #6 Texas A&M - The Aggies have been filling up on cupcakes the past 3 weeks after their impressive week 1 win against South Carolina.  They beat up on the June Jones-less SMU last weekend 58-6.

On the flip side, Razorbacks HC Brett Bielema has found wins much harder to come by outside of Madison.  After going winless in the SEC last year, he's off to an 0-1 start this year.  It's not going to get any easier as Arkansas faces 6 teams currently ranked in the top 17 over their next 7 games.  They'll need to pull an upset or Brett's seat is going to start to get hot, like his wife...

Bake me some cupcakes!

37-16 Aggies

#7 Baylor @ Iowa State - Baylor might be ranked #7 but they've played two of the worst teams in the FBS and one FCS school.  Which is why pre-season rankings are worthless.  It's hard to say if the Bear are real contenders or fake pretenders...

Real or Fake? You decide.

...and, barring an upset along the way, we likely won't find out until Nov 8th when they play current #4 Oklahoma.

The Cylones did what every team does, beat a Big Ten team out of conference.  This win was made even sweeter as they scored 10 points in the 4th quarter to get the W against in state rival Iowa.  Iowa State is now 1-2, having lost to FCS North Dakota State.  And as we all know the transitive property applies to football, therefore FCS ND State > Iowa.  Yes, the Big Ten is terrible.

44-10 Baylor

#8 Notre Dame @ Syracuse - The Irish are off to a 3-0 start having dispatched Rice, Michigan and Purdue.  So what did we learn from those games?  Michigan is in some deep doo doo.  The Irish are only giving up 10 points per game, meanwhile 'Cuse sits at 2-1.  They needed double OT to beat FCS Villanova, then lost to Maryland, a freaking Big Ten team!  Ugh. That's embarrassing!

Losing to a Big Ten team? 

Syracuse likes to run the ball.  Mostly because they have no choice as their passing game is ranked 101st in the nation.  Notre Dame is REALLY good at stopping the run...

This equipment was used to simulate the Alabama defense. 

37-13 Notre Dame

Wyoming @ #9 Michigan State - Both of these teams have had the privilege of getting crushed by Oregon, but only one of their coaches likes fish sticks.

Wyoming lost 48-14, Sparty lost 46-27.  That is the only loss for both teams.  Wyoming has not scored more than 20 points in any game.  Fortunately for the Cowboys, their D has held their opponents to less than that in their wins.  As for Sparty...

Michigan Sate does not pay it's assistant well.

... they played and FCS team and Eastern Michigan, which may as well be an FCS team, neigh, an NAIA team, so we have no idea if they're any good.  But they are in the Big Ten, so they probably aren't that good.

34-6 Michigan State

Memphis @ #10 Ole Miss - The last time Memphis went on the road against a ranked team they gave UCLA everything they could handle before losing by a TD.  The Tigers have a decent offense and their defense is not bad.  The talent gap between Memphis is a huge as the gap between 80's Bon Jovi

I was Livin' On a Prayer...

And 2014 Bon Jovi...

... Now I sing country music. I shit you not, Bon Jovi put out an effing country album! WTF JON!? 

... and did you ever notice that 80's Bon Jovi was the inspiration for serial killer Buffalo Bill?

I am also from New Jersey. 

Weird shit right there.  Anyway...

38-13 Wyoming

#11 UCLA @ #15 Arizona State - Finally! A decent game this week.  UCLA is 3-0 but their margin of victory has only been by 8, 7 and 3 points. Backup QB Jerry Neuheisel hit WR Jordan Payton for the winning TD with 3 mins left for a 20-17 road victory against Texas last week.  Yes, that is HC Rick Neuheisel's son...

Why can't I have the mic Dad?

... Bruins starting QB and Heisman hopeful Brett Hundley injured his left elbow n the first quarter. He was back this week against ASU and appears to be just fine.

ASU is averaging 47 points per game against a schedule that can only be described as ...

Ahhhhh!! 

... yeah. That was unpleasant.  Let's get that image out of our heads...

Sun Devils RB D.J. Foster is averaging a video game like 9.5 yards per carry. But running through Swiss cheese defenses is not that hard.

Both these teams are over rated.

37-17 UCLA

UPDATE: UCLA put up 35 points in the second half and destroyed ASU 62-27.

Tennessee @ #12 Georgia - Tennessee went on the road and suffered a beating last week....

OU got biblical on Tennessee in Norman. 

... losing to OU 34-10.  Speaking off the cuff after the game, Vols HC Butch Jones had this to say...

"Eshe, she went down to Holly Springs.
Rasadon and Baba, they went down to Peachtree.
Headliner, I challenge you to a game of horseshoes.
A GAME OF HORSESHOOOOEEESSS!"

Who knew horseshoes was so big in Tennessee?

The Vols are young, and despite having a Senior QB, they've struggled on offense.

The Bulldogs dismantled Troy 66-0 last week and have a shot at running the table into November.  If HC Mark Richt can avoid another let down, Georgia could be 9-1 heading into a showdown with Auburn.

33-17 Georgia

Missouri @ #13 South Carolina - The Big Ten won a game against the SEC!

WAIT!? WHAT!? 

 You heard me!  Indiana knocked off Missouri last week 31-27!!

Are you shitting me!? 

 I am not shitting you!

RB D'Angelo Roberts scored on a 3 yard run with :22 second remaining and Indiana had one of their biggest wins in the history of their program.

This win puts HC Kevin Wilson in line to move up to a bigger job once the off season roles around.  Indiana has a real chance to go bowling this year, but I'd be surprised if Wilson is coaching that game.  He's turned Indiana into a decent program which is no small feat, but the Hoosiers don't have the infrastructure to support a long term improvement on the grid iron.

Mizzou will need to get its' shit together and rebound from the loss as they face a Gamecocks squad that still hasn't found a way to plug it's leaky defense.  USCe beat Vandy 48-34 last week, which is the same amount of points Vandy scored against UMass in week 3!

The Hoosiers showed Mizzou can be beat but Mizzou's offense is better than advertised.  Unless the Gamecocks come up with some stops on D, the Tigers will rebound with the win on the road.

38-31 Mizzou

#16 Stanford @ Washington - Stanford's D is only giving up 4.3 points per game, good for 1st in the nation.  But that stat is aided by two shutouts against FCS UC-Davis and Army.  Not exactly offensive powerhouses.

A recurring theme early in the season is teams being undefeated against cupcake schedules.  That is especially true with Washington where the Chris Petersen era ...

... has started off 4-0, but check out who UDub has beat...
17-16 over Hawaii
59-52 over FCS Eastern Washington
44-19 over Illinois - a Big Ten team
45-14 over Georgia State - entering it's 2nd year as an FBS program

It can be fun beating up on someone smaller...

.. but it ultimately proves nothing.

If this game were in Palo Alto I'd take Stanford, but playing in Seattle is a huge home field advantage for the Huskies.

24-17 Washington

New Mexico State @ #17 LSU - LSU was down 34-10 in the fourth quarter at home against Mississippi State before mounting a furious comeback that ultimately fell short.  The Tigers lost 34-29, their first loss at home to the Bulldogs since Tim Allen grunted his way into the American pop culture...

... as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor, a drug addicted alcoholic local celebrity with a criminal record.

Wilson? 

Maybe my recollection between his TV character and real life is a bit off, but my point is it's been a long time since MSU won in Baton Rouge.

LSU has a QB controversy on it's hands after backup QB Brandon Harris led the comeback last week after starter Anthony Jennings did nothing all game.  No matter who plays this week, LSU should have a much easier game.

New Mexico State is not a good team.

52-3 LSU

Oregon State @ #18 USC - Looking for a BDay or Christmas present for a guy?  Can I make a suggestion...

Yup.  That's a real calendar. 

... There are thousands of jokes to be made when Trojans and Beavers square off.

Will the Beavers get pounded by the Trojans?

Or will the Beavers break the Trojans?

I could go on but I'll digress.

USC is coming off a road loss to Boston College.  Meanwhile Oregon State is 3-0 against... you know what, never mind.  Let's just assume pretty much any undefeated team has beaten nobody good so far, cool? Good.

26-20 USC

South Florida @ #19 Wisconsin - In 2007, South Florida was 6-0 and ranked #2 in the initial BCS rankings...

Kansas? Kentucky? Cal? Hawaii? 

... and Boston College was #3!?  That was 7 years ago.  Now, South Florida has gone 3-9 and 2-10 in the past two season.  This season the Bulls are 2-2 but their offense is putrid and their D is not much better.

Wisconsin set a Big Ten record for rushing yards in a game as they rolled up 644 yards against Bowling Green en route to a 68-17 blowout. Unless a team like Maryland or Rutgers pulls an upset, Wisconsin has a rather easy road to the Big Ten Championship game this season.  They won't play a team currently ranked until they meet current #21 Nebraska on November 15.  Will the Wisconsin fans be doing Duckface in Southern California for the new year again?

So... duckface.  I'm not sure when this became a thing, but like all things kids think are cool today, it's another ripoff from the 80's.  Ravishing Rick Rude was duckfacing 30 years before memes were a thing.

42-17 Wisconsin

Illinois @ #21 Nebraska - Despite giving up 32.5 points per game and raking 113th in rushing yards per game, the Illini are 3-1.  Their offense is generated by the arm of QB Wes Lunt, a transfer from Okie State.

The Sophomore QB has 1,237 yards, 11 TD's and only 3 INT's this year.  He might be the best QB in the Big Ten this year.  Coming off seasons of 2-10 and 4-8 Illini HC Tim Beckman might have found a player that saves his job in Champagne.

The Huskers are off to a 4-0 start but the D has been shaky and the team seems to play down to it's competition.  For now, Bo Pelini is off the hot seat as well.  And despite a contentious relationship with Husker fans...

"I have a contentious relationship with Bo Pelini." 

... the head coach won over some fans during the Husker's spring game this by doing this...

... his obsession with cats may have been foreshadowed by his senior pic from college...

Meooow.

The Huskers were once again lead by RB Ameer Abdullah who racked up 229 yards and 3 TD's against Miami in a 41-31 win.  Abudllah is making the case to be the first Heisman contender for the Huskers since Eric Crouch took home the hardware in 2001.

With a shaky D and facing arguably the best QB they've seen this year, I think the Huskers might open Big Ten play with a loss.  And I honestly can't believe I'm picking the Illini because they've been terrible and Beckman sucks.

37-26 Illinois

Cincinnati @ #22 Ohio State - Former 5 star recruit and current Cincy QB Gunner Kiel was Mr. Indiana Football in 2011, which is like being the guy on the right...

... on top of that, he's the second most famous person named Gunner...

"After the Rain, my hair still looks awesome!"

... and in addition, he's indecisive.  After having 20+ scholarship offers, he first chose his in state Hoosiers... then Les Miles got his ear and he flipped to LSU... then Brian Kelly swooped in and finally, Gunner enrolled at Notre Dame.

"Is that a midget cheerleader over there?"

After losing the QB battle, Gunner decided to transfer to Cincinnati to play for HC Tommy Tuberville. Finally, 3 years after graduating high school, Gunner finally took meaningful snaps at the college level. He's led Cincy to a 2-0 start but that was against MAC teams.  He does have 10 TD's and nearly 700 yards passing in those two games however.  So will Gunner finally live up to the hype that surrounded him 3 years ago?

The Buckeyes vented their frustration on Kent State to the tune of 66-0 before entering their bye week.  To keep OSU in the news during their bye week, HC Urban Meyer released a story how he thought he was dying while he was HC at Florida in 2009. He also revealed he was depressed.  The story changed the subject from his team's poor performance against VA Tech in their loss at home and his inability to coach up a QB that can't run like Alex Smith, Tim Tebow or Braxton Miller.  Ironically, the only one of those QB's with a pro career to speak of is Smith, who is not thought of as a running QB.  The Buckeyes have issues on offense and defense, and no amount of "look at me" Urban Meyer press releases is going to change that.

Will Meyer have more health problems if he loses two games at home within a month?

35-33 Cincinnati

Texas Tech @ #24 Oklahoma State - This game was played before I wrote anything.  Okie State won 45-35.

UTEP @ #25 Kansas State - K State is coming off a bye week but prior to that they held the explosive Auburn offense to 20 points.  Unfortunately they could only score 14. By the way, did you know there's a beach in Kansas?

There's more than just corn in Kansas!

Also, did you know one of the pics below is a federal prison?  And the other is UTEP's campus.

Not kidding.

45-17 K State

Games Of Note

Northwestern @ Penn State - After facing a 2 game suspension, Northwestern lost RB Venric Marc, arguably their best offensive player, when he decided to transfer to an FCS school.  Then the Wildcats lost their best WR Christian Jones to a knee injury.  Those losses have led to a 1-2 record and a 106th ranked passing game to go along with a 75th rank rushing attack.  The Wildcats are hurting this year.

On the flip side, Penn State finally got their rushing game going against UMass.  The Nittany Lions rushed for 5 TD's in a 48-7 rout.  QB Christian Hackenberg had his worst game of the season.  He missed on several easy throws early and looked off most of the game.  Fortunately they did not need his arm to lead them to the W against one of the worst squads in FBS.

This week will be a bit tougher as Northwestern's D is only giving up 20 points per game. Penn State's D is only giving up 11, good for 6th in the nation, and is really tough to run against.  Northwestern always plays PSU tough, so look for them to air it out and test the suspect PSU secondary.  If Hackenberg throws some more INT's like he's prone to do, this game could be closer than it should be.

24-20 Penn State.

Maryland @ Indiana - As mentioned above, Indiana scored one if it's biggest wins in program history beating Mizzou 31-27 on the road.  Is Indiana the surprise team of a weak Big Ten this year?

Or will that title belong to Big Ten new comer Maryland?  The Terrapins are 3-1 after beating up on Syracuse last week.  They also have cool new uniforms...

In case you're wondering, the founder of Under Armour, Kevin Plank, is a Maryland alum. He's basically attempting to become the Phil Knight of the east coast. But can Maryland become the Oregon of the east coast?  They'll have to start by beating a better than normal Indiana squad on the road.

27-24 Maryland

Minnesota @ Michigan - Michigan's program seems to be in a free fall...

Michigan AD Dave Brandon had the brilliant idea of doing a promotion with Coca-Cola to give away Michigan football tickets.

"Also, buy one XL pack of Junior Mints and receive season tickets."

That is, if you buy two coke products, which should run you about $3, you receive two tickets to a Michigan football game, face value $150.

"What do you mean?  Brady Hoke is doing an awesome job.  Attendance is great.  This promotion will help sell a lot of Coke products." 

Is there a more hated AD in all of college football than this man right now?  The promotion has been cancelled and the backlash has been swift and severe. This pretty much sums up the Michigan fan base right now...

"I miss the RichRod era."

The Wolverines have only 10 points total in their two losses.  There is talk of QB Devin Gardner being benched in favor or Sophomore Shane Morris.  The offensive line is a mess.

Even their punter is having issues...

Yes, Michigan is an easy punchline right now, but they're still 2-2 and HC Brady Hoke still has time to save this season.  Entering Big Ten play this week he gets Minnesota at home.

The Gophers are not a threat through the air, ranking 124th in passing yards per game.  They're leading receivers have only 6 catches each... for the entire season. The Gophers are one dimensonal, they're going to run the ball. Senior RB David Cobb leads the way with a 5.9 average yards per carry. Michigan would be wise to stack the box and make Minny take to the air.  The Gophers D is also going to allow some points.   There is no reason whatsoever Michigan should lose this game at home.

27-13 Michigan