Week 8 is upon us! I almost didn't get this written this week. My
intent was to do this last night, but my new Iphone came, so I was a
little busy. Seriously, the new Iphone is AWESOME! Especially compared
to the piece of junk Droid it's replacing. If you haven't done so yet,
I highly suggest you join the Iphone revolution. Do it for Steve.
This
season is going by faster than Lindsay Lohan attempting to do community
service. We're more than halfway to another BCS controversy, but allot
can happen in a week. As I'm typing this, #15 Couch Burning U is losing
to ACC member Syracuse. Will that be the only upset this week?
Meanwhile,
on the conference carousel, Mizzou has given permission to their
Chancellor to move the school out of the Texas 12. The most likely
destination is the SEC, but at this point who knows. The Big East has
presumably invited everyone they can think of to join their auto bid
conference, with no takers thus far. In other words, the Big East is SO
awful, teams would rather stay in a non automatic qualifying BCS
conference than join the Big Least. Ouch. That's like being offered
tickets to a bowl game, and finding out it's being played in Detroit.
(It could be worse, I could've said East Lansing!)
On to the games....
Top 25 Action:
#20
Tigers @ #1 Tigers - Which tigers are better? Why can't the geniuses
in the SEC at least come up with different names for their schools? Why
would a guy let all of his lions, tigers & bears loose on an Ohio
town? Why does a man own all of said animals, plus cheetahs, monkeys,
wolves, and I would just assume ocelots. Rest easy though, all of the
animals are accounted for save for a
monkey. I don't want to alarm anyone, but isn't this how the Planet of
the Apes started? Down on the Bayou, LSU players can't help but pull a
Stephen Garcia before they face Auburn. Is it really that difficult to
not smoke the reefer in season? Apparently so. In Auburn, the NCAA has
cleared them of any wrongdoing with Cam Newton's recruitment. So there
you have it, pay for play is OK! Ron - keep the Tommy highlights
coming! It can only drive up his price when he's ready to play in
college! I see the Mad Hatter pulling something ridiculous out of his
hat after some horrible clock management this week. I'm going LSU 27 -
Auburn 24 when LSU blocks a FG in the closing minutes and takes it back
for a TD.
Volunteers @ #2 'Bama - Tennessee is Volunteering
(get it? of course you do, sorry, that was bad) to get rolled by the
Tide this week. Nothing new here. The Tide continue
their dominance 37 - 23. The Volunteers blame Kiffin for everything
wrong with the program.
Tx Tech @ #3 Sooners - Can the Sooners
avoid a let down before Bedlam? There is already talk of an undefeated
Sooners team being left out of the BCS title game in favor of a 1 loss
LSU or 'Bama. Seriously. Why don't we just let the SEC do their own
thing and the rest of college football can have a playoff? The SEC can
just beat up on the Sun Belt and MAC every year and everyone else leaves
the BCS and goes to a playoff. Then the SEC can lay claim to a
national title every year, while the rest of us get a playoff system we
want to crown a national champion? We can broadcast the title game on
the LongHorn Network. Sooners 47 - Tex Tech 21.
#4 T. Boone U @
Mizzou - could this be the year Okie State gets over the hump and into
the BCS? Or how about the title game even? They could be
this years Oregon, with a dynamic offense putting up ridiculous points,
and a D just good enough to stop opponents from scoring just as much.
Mizzou is on the move, but only off the field. Cowboys 56 - Mizzou 31.
Air
Force @ #5 Boise - could this be a meeting of two future Big East
teams? Could the Big Least invite Hawaii too just to cover every single
U.S. time zone? Will Boise play anyone worth a crap in their own
conference? Will Lindsay Lohan show up for her court mandated community
service? The answers to all these questions... you know what,
whatever. Nobody cares. Broncos, call us when you join a real league,
and the Big East doesn't count. Boise 40 - Falcons 24.
#6
Badgers @ #16 Sparty - Game Day is East Lansing this week! Which means
it's time for Sparty to melt down on national tv! After low blowing
Michigan last week, MSU takes on an equally dirty Badgers team
that's been rolling everyone. Russell Wilson has turning this team
into something fierce. Wilson really lost out on an SEC payday this
year. He could've sold his services to the highest bidder for a year.
You think Auburn wouldn't have paid? Instead, he's making Wisky the
favorite in what every single media outlet says is a down year for the
Big Ten. Apparently anytime a school other than Michigan or Ohio State
is winning the Big Ten, it's a down year. Whatever. The Badgers will
roll Sparty. 28 - 13.
Tar Heels @ #7 Clemson - Clemson is the
4th team in the top 25 with the Tigers nickname. People REALLY loved
Tigers back in the day. Clemson nearly proved me right last week in a
shootout with the 'Pins! Yes, the 'Pins! Why isn't everyone using
that yet? I'd say this is the week Clemson FINALLY blows it, but,...
nah, this is the week. I believe in
them! 29 - 26 Tar Heels.
#25 Huskies @ #8 Luck U - Stanford is
beating everyone by 30 points per game, and yet is ranked only 8th?
Apparently you are not worthy of being considered a "real" contender for
a championship unless you play in the Southeastern US. Does that mean
Vanderbilt would be winning the Pac 12 if they moved out west? Luck has
been nothing short of dominant during his march to the Heisman, but I'm
sure the voters on the east coast can't be bothere to stay up late
enough to watch him play and would rather just give it to another 'Bama
RB. The Cardinal mush the Huskies into submission 42 - 14.
#9
Razorbacks @ Ole Miss - Houston Nutt left Arkansas to take over at Ole
Miss. The Ole Miss boosters weren't happy with David Cutliffe and his
winning ways, so they decided Nutt was the answer to take them to...
whever it is Ole Miss fans think they would go with a decent program.
How'd that
work out for you Rebels? On the flip side, Petrino quit on the Falcons
mid-season to take over the 'Backs. Apparently when you realize you
can't coach worth a crap in the NFL, you may as well cut & run. If
both of these teams could lose I'd be all for it. Petrino 38 - Nutt
10.
#10 Ducks @ Buffaloes - Remember when Colorado had a decent
football program? They even had a Heisman trophy winner, a Slash at
QB, first round draft picks. And the Broncos used to have a good team
too until Elway retired. There's allot of bad football being played in
Colorado right now. But you know what, Tebow is so dang good he's going
to save the Broncos AND Buffaloes! Believe in Tebowology. (To join
Tebowology, just send a cashiers check or money order in the amount of
$200 to me. This is just an initial consultation fee and does not
guarantee salvation during the rapture. To guarantee
salvation and become a full fledged member of Tebowolgy, you'll need to
send me allot more money. Your salvation is directly proportional to
the amount of money you give me.) Ducks 47 - Buffs 3.
#11
K-State @ K - Rock Chalk... whatever. It's still football season so
nobody in Lawrence cares yet. Wildcats 38 - Jayhawks 13.
B.C @
#12 Hokies - BC's coach is apparently on the hot seat after just
signing an extension this off season. Why do coaches that sign
extensions always seem to get fired the very next season? You think they
know they're getting paid no matter what, so just pack it in? Would
you rather work 365 days per year as a head coach, or get fired and sit
back and collect all that money and not do a damn thing? What's easier,
trying to convince 17 & 18 yr old kids to play at your school, or
watching games at home while drinking a beer? Beamer Ball keeps on
rolling in
Blacksburg. Hokies 24 - BC 7.
#13 Cornhuskers @ Southern
Canada - Minny may be one of the worst teams in all of college football
this year. They play in a brand new stadium on campus.... that's
OUTDOORS! They have literally nothing going for them. How far
underground to Golden Gophers have to burrow so they don't freeze to
death in a Minnesota winter? That is where the Minny football team
belongs. 42 - 7 Huskers.
#17 Aggies @ Cyclones - The Aggies
have been an average program in the Big XII. The Aggies will continue
that tradition in the SEC. The frustration of their fan base to be
bigger than their big brother Texas will never cease. You can run away
to another league, but you still can't get out of the Longhorn's
shadow. The Cyclones may be the best team in Iowa this year... but only
because the Children of the Corn can't find a QB. BTW, how scary would
it be to go through a haunted
corn maze in Iowa? Can you imagine coming around a dark corner and
having a bunch of creepy kids staring at you? I'd never sleep again.
Aggies get tossed around by the 'Cones - 26 - 23.
Thunder Herd @
#19 Cougars - 6th year professional college QB Case Keenum is close to
breaking the all time yardage mark for passing yards. Move over Timmy
Chang, Case is taking you down! Maybe Case can transfer to another
school under the "Russell Wilson" rule next year and rack up even more
ridiculous stats. The SEC is already opening their checkbooks. Cougars
49 - "Herd 17.
#21 Nittany Lions @ Northwestern - Last week,
JoePa didn't even make it on the field against Purdue. The good part is
Joe's contract is up after this season. The bad part is there is no
way in hell JoePa steps down willingly or quietly. Joe literally will
not let go, which means we are also stuck with his dipshit son
running our anemic offense. You know what, to be anemic, one would
have to have some life, which we don't. Thankfully Silas Redd runs as
hard as any back in the nation b/c we're stuck with two bad QB's. The
Wildcats always win the first half against PSU, and PSU somehow always
manages to come back in the second half and win. That scenario
continues this week - 24 - 21 JoePa U.
#22 Yellow Jackets @ Da U
- The Yellow Jackets run the most fun offense to watch that I would
NEVER want my school to run. And that's saying something, b/c PSU's
offensive coordinator called a reverse on the 10 yard line with 14
seconds left in the half last week. In the meantime, Da U and OSU are
vying to see which one can get off the easiest from the NCAA. I'll bet
neither program even gets a slap on the wrist. It'll be more like a
stern talking too about how the NCAA isn't even mad at them, they're
just
disappointed. 'Canes 23 - Jackets 20.
#23 Illinois @ Purdue -
Illinois somehow lost last week even though the opposing team complete
only one... ONE! pass the entire game! Even Penn State can complete
more than ONE pass in a game! On the down side for the Illini, that one
pass was a TD and they lost by 10 to the Buckeyes. Ouch. It was bound
to happen though, Zook always loses an ugly, ugly game every year.
Purude played tough last week, but made too many mistakes. This week
will be better, but they will stall fall short - 31 - 24 Illini.
Big Ten Action:
Indiana
@ Iowa - Poor Indiana. They lost arguably their best recruit since...
forever? when Gunner Kiel, a top ranked QB, decommitted this week.
Rumor is Gunner is taking a look at Notre Dame, which is like rubbing a
hot poker covered in salt in a fresh bullet wound. It was bound to
happen though. The prom queen
doesn't date the band geek. It just doesn't happen in real life, only
on Glee. In that world, the starting QB also chooses to sing & dance
over actually playing QB, and their are spontaneous song & dance
numbers throughout the school at any given moment. Sounds like the high
school from hell to me. The Hawkeyese are just bad this year, but not
as bad as the Hoosiers. 40 - 17 Hawkeyes.
Other games of note:
USC
@ Notre Dame - remember when this game was the game of the week? Back
when Notre Dame thought Charlie Weis was too big too fail and Sneaky
Pete was looking at Santa Monica Bay while Reggie & Matt were living
rent free in gorgeous luxury apartments in downtown LA? Granted, if
they were cheating like the SEC, they would've been living rent free in
Brentwood or somewhere on the west side, but hey, it was at least close
to campus. Weis is now in Gainesville, where the Gator offense
has a decisive schematic advantage when eating at the Old Country
Buffet. Notre Dame STILL insists it's football team remain independent,
which is like refusing to pick a side for dodge ball. Eventually,
everyone is throwing balls hitting you in the face and groin and you're
out of the game before you know what hit you. May Notre Dame rot in the
purgatory of independence forever. Praise Tebow. USC 27 - Irish 24.
'Pins
@ Seminoles - My how quickly the 'Noles have fallen. The 'Pins will
undoubtedly unvail yet another ugly uniform this week. This is a battle
of two mediocre teams, the only difference is the 'Noles fans thought
they were immediately going to be back to the same heights they were
during the 90's. They are nowhere close. The 'Pins got rid of the
Fridge thinking Edsall, and somehow new uniforms, would take them back
too.. I have no idea... the year they won a national title in
basketball? Call this the Mediocre Bowl - Noles 34 - 'Pins 28
Upset of the week:
Besides
the 'Cuse dropping 49 on Couch Burning U, and Rutgers losing to
Louisville (Ha! Rutgers. They had one decent season when they had Ray
Rice & Brian Leonard and have been riding that train ever since.
Rutgers is a joke, even by Big East standards)... my upset of the week
is...
Jacksonville State over Kentucky - b/c even the SEC craps the bed every one in a while.
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