Week 2 Predictions

Week 1 is in the books!  Only 15 more weeks of college football, unless you count the months between the end of the regular season and bowl games that are actually somewhat interesting to watch. No major upsets happened in week 1, and no, Youngstown State over Pitt is not a major upset. In fact I'd argue it's not an upset at all.  But I digress... on to the week 2 predictions!

Top 25 Action

Hilltoppers @ #1 'Bama - They say, you're never as good as you think when you win, or as bad as you think when you lose.  The latter may be true, but it seems 'Bama is putting the former to the test.  The Tide dominated the Wolverines last week in Dallas.  They were up 31-7 at the half and were never threatened in the second half.  Freshman RB TJ Yeldon only carried 10 times, but had 111 yards. 'Bama's RB position appears to be an annual Heisman contender no matter who they put back there.  The Hilltoppers won 49-10 against Austin Peay last week. Austin Peay may have the hardest schedule in football this year, as they take on Va Tech in Blacksburg this week.  Look for 'Bama to flip the script against the 'Toppers this week.  'Bama gets an easy win before a top ten match up against Arkansas next week. 49-10 'Bama.

#2 USC v. 'Cuse - The Men of Troy spanked the Warriors last week as WR Marquise Lee & QB Matt Barkley kicked off their Heisman campaigns.  This game will be played at Giants Stadium, possibly because the Coliseum is being used to film another porno.  No seriously, the Coliseum was used to film a porno.  This USC Sex Scandal, #USCSexScandal, is huge, and clearly within the purview of the NCAA since it has nothing to do with football.  Obviously USC has a culture that promotes pornography over academics, right Mr. Emmert? As such,  there are now more allegations involving former USC RB Joe McKnight that the NCAA is looking into.  It seems with all the built in advantages USC has to recruit, they STILL need give kids extra benefits just to play there.  'Cuse lost a tough game to a Big Ten team.  Losing to a Big Ten team is starting to get embarrassing.  'Cuse is at least competitive now, which is a hell of a lot better than being a Big East doormat. But still, when Rutgers is favored to win  your league...  52 - 13 Trojans.


Huskies @ #3 LSU - The Tigers fought off hurricane Irene and North Texas last week for a 41-14 win.   Save for an 80 yd TD pass, LSU's defense was absolutely stifling. The Mean Green looked like they were playing on Friday night, while LSU's D looked like it should've been playing on Sunday.  The Tigers ground game pounded the rock all day while their passing game leaves something to be desired.  The Huskies started off with a 21-12 victory over the Aztecs.  Who was the better college RB, Marshall Faulk for the Aztecs or Napoleon Kaufman for the Huskies?  31 - 10 LSU.

Bulldogs @ #4 Ducks - Fresno State handled Weber State easily last week 37-10.  The Ducks unveiled possibly their 1,000th different uniform variation against Arkansas State.  The Ducks were so pumped about their new Uni's they forgot to play any defense.  Fortunately Chip Kelly and the Ducks offense wouldn't even have trouble scoring in a convent should that situation ever arise. 63-13 Ducks.

Florida A&M @ #5 Sooners - Scandal has ROCKED Florida A&M.  In the wake of the hazing death of a marching band drum major last year, A&M has suspended the school dance troupe after more hazing this year.  Clearly A&M has a culture of hazing over academics.  No word yet on what the team will do to replace the entertainment the dance troupe provided during timeouts.  I suggest a man and a chair.

What's that?  I can't say that to Mr. Eastwood, he's a Hollywood legend. ......  Ha, I have no clue what his new movie is about either.  Something about him yelling at an empty batting cage I think.... Yes, I think he knows they only asked him because Arnie banged his maid and Charlton Heston is dead.  ....  Obviously Heston talked to his guns... Maybe, but even if he did know the remake of Planet of the Apes wasn't real he still had enough guns to defend himself...  I don't agree, whoopee cushions are hilarious!

Like most people that are forced to go there, the Sooners did not enjoy their trip to West Texas.  The Sooner offense, with potential first round QB Landry Jones, struggled against the Miners but still came away with a 24-7 win.  This week should be a bit easier.  37 - 10 Sooners.

Savannah State @ #6 FSU - Savannah State is challenging Austin Peay for hardest schedule in football.  After playing the role of home intruder to Okie State's LL Cool J, Savannah crawls to Tallahassee for another ass whooping.  This is the college football version of being Mike Tyson's sparring partner.  FSU is playing it's second cupcake in a row after beating up on Murray State last week.  I get playing one FCS school to fill out your schedule, but two?  I guess Jimbo Fisher hit this button when scheduling for FSU.

No way should a team that plays two patsies be eligible for the BCS.  45 - 3 'Noles.

#7 Bulldogs @ Mizzou - After opening with a gimme, Mizzou welcomes the 'Dawgs to Columbia in their first game as a member of the SEC.  SEC! SEC! SEC!  Anyone else find it incredibly weird they cheer the name of their conference?  It's akin to cheering the name of your religion on Sundays... LET'S GO MORMONS!!!  ...  WE ARE!!!  CATHOLICS!!!  ... WHEN I SAY JEW... YOU SAY ISH!!  JEW - ISH!!  JEW - ISH!!!  ... FIGHT ON BAPTISTS!!! ... And much like the Jehovah Witnesses, SEC fans aren't afraid to tell you how great they are.  It's like a cult with 12 different sects.  Speaking of cults, were you aware that Tom Cruise was the next Bachelor?  The Bulldogs are coming off an uninspiring performance against Buffalo.  Is the Devil down in Georgia making Mark Richt's seat a little toasty already?  Mizzou 27 - Georgia 23. 

#8 Razorbacks @ LA-Monroe - The Razorbacks opened with a cupcake.  There are tons of cupcakes to open this college football season.  Perhaps it's time for a college football pre-season?  Or some actual cupcakes.  I recommend Sprinkles Cupcakes.  If you're in a city that has a Sprinkles, lucky you.  Feel free to send me some.  I like the peanut butter chip.  LA - Monroe opens with Arkansas and Auburn back to back. LA-Monroe definitely does not like cupcakes.  45 - 17 Hogs. 

Pirates @ #9 'Cocks - The 'Ole Ball Coach narrowly escaped the Commodores last week 17-13.  Starting QB Connor Shaw injured his shoulder in the game but toughed it out.  Star RB Marcus Lattimore came back strong from injury with 110 yards and 2 TD's.  The Pirates run a Mike Leach spread offense and love throwing the ball like Lindsay Lohan loves stealing jewelry.  Can the Gamecocks offense put up enough points to outgun the Pirates? 30 - 27 South Carolina. 

#11 Sparty @ Chippewas - Sparty held off a tough Boise State squad in East Lansing last week for a 17-13 win.  Le'Veon Bell threw his hat into the Heisman ring with 210 yards rushing against the Broncos.  The Chippewas can look back fondly on the days of Brian Kelly & Dan Lefevour.  37 - 13 Sparty.

Ball State @ #12 Clemson - Clemson opened with a win over Auburn last week.  Smart move by Dabo Swinney scheduling some tough games early in the season for the Tigers since Clemson is the marquee program for late season collapses.  The Tigers have two cupcakes against David Letterman U & Furman before a match up against the 'Noles, who also play nobody early.  52 - 3 Clemson

#13 Badgers @ Beavers - Badgers HC Brett Beliema refused to send game tape to Oregon State, probably because it'd be like watching a Kathy Bates sex tape.  That's how nasty the Badgers 26-21 win over Northern Iowa was last week.  Could the Badgers really be that bad or are they just starting slow? The Beavers, a member for the Pac 2 & 10 others, open the season at home after their first scrimmage, er game, against Nicholls State was postponed.  No word on when Nicholls State has rescheduled their ass whooping.  Badgers 23 - Beavers 17. 

UCF @ #14 Buckeyes - The Knights make their second consecutive trip to Ohio this week.  After throttling Akron like the Hulk throttled Loki, the Knights take on demi-god Urban Meyer and his Buckeye minions.  Buckeye dual threat RB Braxton Miller went for 161 yards and actually threw the ball effectively against Miami(OH).  I can't wait for Braxton's impassioned speech to the media and fans after OSU loses a home game to an inferior conference opponent, and said speech is so moving, it is put up on the entrance to the football facility for all that follow to realize just how insignificant they are compared to Braxton.  He'll then develop a cult following, and despite a lack of actual skill at his position, get drafted in the first round.  Next he'll spend a few years trying to prove he can be an effective QB before being traded to a team in total disarray when a HOF QB takes his job.  He will then be a backup to another high profile QB that is more interested in dating the former Mrs. Tony Parker than winning a Super Bowl.  Oh, and the Buckeyes will win 37 - 10. 

Austin Peay @ #15 Va Tech - The Hokies eked out an OT win against GA Tech last week.  Star QB Logan Thomas didn't have his best game and the Yellow Jackets gave the Hokies all they could handle.  As for the Jackets vaunted option offense, they were held to under 200 yards rushing.  It's safe to say the Hokies run D is pretty good.  They'll have an easier time this week.  45 - 0 Hokies.

#16 'Huskers @ UCLA - Huskers QB Taylor Martinez lit up Southern Miss to the tune of 354 yards and 5 TD's through the air last week in a 49-20 win.  Meanwhile the Bruins opened the Jim Mora Jr. era with a 49-24 stomping of Rice.  Bruins RB Johnathan Franklin led the way with 214 yards and 3 TD's on only 15 carries. T-Mart continues his early season success against an improved Bruins squad in the Rose Bowl this week.  31-21 Cornhuskers.

New Mexico @ #17 Longhorns - In a stat Navy would be proud of, the Lobos racked up 347 yards on the ground last week and only 70 through the air.  Like fans of Tosh.O, 'Horns fans had to sit through a lot of crap before something good happened in the 37-17 win against Wyoming.  QB David Ash was an efficient 20-27 for 156 yards.  As long as the ground game is in order again, the 'Horns should have no problems with the Lobos.  42 - 6 Longhorns. 

#18 Cowboys @ Wildcats - T. Boone U dropped a video game like 84 points on Savannah last week.  If you play NCAA 13 on freshman mode you'd still have trouble scoring 84 points.  You have to wonder if games like this should even count.  Sure, the visiting team gets paid for their time and effort of getting their asses whooped, but does it really help the sport?  How do you think the kids on Savannah State feel after getting pummelled and not receiving any of the money for it?  I guess what I'm saying is, watching all these early season cupcakes is as painful as watching the next season of American Idol with Mariah, Nicki & Keith Urban.  Ugh. RichRod's debut in the desert was almost spoiled by his pathological hatred of playing defense. This game may reach 100 points combined.  63-45 Cowboys.

I'm proposing a reality show based on the exact opposite of American Idol.  Instead of searching for talent, my show will find people with absolutely not talent whatsoever, and the celebrities will have to turn their respective person or group of talentless ass clowns into something resembling talent.  C'mon, you know this happens all the time in Hollywood.  How else do we explain boy bands, Kristen Stewart, & the awful pilots the networks green light every year. If I can get some hot contestants and pay some celebrity "mentors" to host, this show will be a hit. 

Or they can just bring back Remote Control.  That show was awesome. 

Air Force @ #19 Michigan - Michigan brought a knife to a gun fight, or more appropriately, brought a college team to an NFL game last week.  The Wolverines must get credit for scheduling what may be their toughest game of the year on week 1 an in a neutral location.  Denard Robinson did not look like a Heisman candidate, but his game has never been sitting in the pocket and scanning the field.  He's an athlete, and making him sit in the pocket took away his most lethal weapon.  Don't look for Hoke to make the same mistake twice. The Falcons handled Idaho State easily in their 49-21 win.  D-Rob gets on track this week.  49 - 17 Wolverines. 

Grambling State @ #20 TCU - Has the NCAA sanctioned TCU for the drug ring involving players?  After all it is a criminal investigation that involves football off the field, which is the bread and butter of the NCAA. Another opening game, another cream puff game.  Snooze.  Speaking of snooze, why are wake up calls limited to hotels only?  Is it that people don't want wake up calls in their homes or is it that no such service exists?  I'm seeing a business opportunity.  Hell, if all these campaigns can do the incessant robo calls, why can't we put that technology to good use so we wake up on time?  Frogs 57 - 3. 

Hurricanes @ #21 K-State - K-State lit it up Gangnam Style! v. Mizzou State last week to the tune of 51-9. Meanwhile in Coral Gables, the 'Canes are embroiled in their own scandal, but they learned from Penn State.  Don't hire some political hack and pay him $6.5 Million to bury your University by "investigating" and issuing a report full of conjecture and opinion.  Smart move 'Canes!  The 'Canes are coming off a 41-32 win against Boston College and look to start 2-0!  33 - 27 Miami(FL). 

Purdue @ #22 Notre Dame - Navy was Notre Dame's Perfect Bitch last week in the Land of Drunken Gingers. If Kim is the perfect bitch, where does that leave Paris Hilton?  The Boilermakers had their cupcake last week and it was delicious!  48-6 over Directional Kentucky.  The Boilers role into South Bend with QB Robert Mavre finally healthy and playing well.  Meanwhile it was the Irish ground game that led the way against the Midshipmen. How red will Brian Kelly's face get this week?  24 - 21 Irish. 

Mizzou State @ #23 Louisville - Seriously Louisville, if you're not going to attempt to play someone other than a patsy, I'm not going to attempt to write anything.  49 - 0 Cardinals. 

#24 Gators @ Aggies -The Gators head to College Station to welcome the Aggies to the SEC.  Are Aggies fans aware they should be chanting for their new conference instead of their school?  A&M is happy to be out of the shadow of the 'Horns, but now it's put up or shut up time.  Will they make some noise in the SEC, or just open up the Texas recruiting base for the rest of their league? In the battle of "Urban Meyer Used to Coach Here!", Florida came away with an uninspiring win v. Bowling Green last week, 27-14.  The Gator offense has been in dire straits since the Apostle Tebow took his talents to The League. I see the Gators pulling off the mild upset this week, 24 - 17. 

Duke @ #25 Stanford - The Nerd Bowl!  Which is the only Bowl Duke will be making this year.  How do the Dukies feel about their arch rivals creating no-show classes and the NCAA taking a pass on doing anything about it?  I think the NCAA has set an obvious precedent, no-show classes are perfectly OK with the NCAA as long as non-athletes can take them too.  #culture.  The Cardinal had an auspicious opening to the post-Luck era, escaping a plucky San Jose State squad 20-17.  Was it opening game jitters or a sign of things to come for Stanford?  27 - 17 Cardinal. 

Games of Interest

Pitt @ Cincy - Pitt. HA!  I called their loss to FCS opponent Youngstown State last week.  Pitt is so irrelevant they could literally pay their recruits to come play there and the NCAA would laugh and thank them for their efforts on trying to become relevant.  Butch Jones and the Bearcats open with a  35-13 win.

PSU @ Virginia - It was an ugly game in Happy Valley last week.  The Nittany Lions came out strong holding a 14-3 halftime lead before giving up 21 unanswered to MAC Champs Ohio in the second half.  Their D was continuously shredded, giving up 11/12 3rd down conversions in the half.  The lack of defensive adjustments was apparent to everyone except DC Ted Roof.  On offense, watching QB Matt McGloin is like watching any movie with Shia Lebouf.  You hope he doesn't screw it up too much that his supporting cast can't bail him out. R.I.P. Indiana Jones. In this case, McGloin missed several wide open receivers literally standing alone deep down field.  With a lack of a running game and the Ohio D squatting on the short routes, the offense went nowhere after half time. The Cavaliers & Mike London opened with a shellacking of FCS opponent Richmond, 43-19.  This game should be a bit closer.  27-24 Cavaliers. 

Terrapins @ Owls - Could it be that Temple has the best football team in PA this year?  It's a sad but true possibility.  Temple plays Pitt and Penn State this year so I guess we'll find out.  But can you really be a serious program when your biggest rival is an FCS school in the 'burbs?  The Owls destroyed 'Nova last week 41-10.  On the flip side, Maryland eked out a 7-6 win against FCS William & Mary.  Perhaps the Terrapins need some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle power? Speaking of Ninjas, how is it that no major schools have a Ninja as their mascot?  With so many awful school mascots, I'm at a loss as to how this injustice has occurred.  Owls 20 - 3. 

Howard @ Rutgers - How appropriate is it that this woman was voted NJ Teacher of the Year?  45 - 0 Rutgers. 

Upset of the Week

Utah State over Utah - The Utes handled Northern Colorado easily 41-0, and the Aggies crushed Southern Utah 34-2.  I see the Aggies pulling off the in state upset this week, 37 - 34. 

Week 1 Predictions

It’s that time of year again….

The southern states are in the paths of Hurricanes, the Midwestern and Pacific states are ablaze with forest fires, and the northeast… to be honest the weather is pretty nice here in the northeast. 

Soon enough though, the leaves will begin to change, the temperatures will drop, and entire Saturdays will be lost to watching 18-22 year olds play a game most of us now play from the comfort of our couches on high-def flat screens. 

Yes, it’s college football season.  Hallelujah!  And man what an off season it’s been.  The off season has been covered ad nauseum by anyone with an opinion, so let’s get onto the grid iron with some Week 1 predictions…

The season kicks off on Thursday, Aug 30^th with an entire slate of games from an SEC match up, to a few programs making their FBS debuts….

Top 25 Action

Hawaii @ #1 USC – Looks like the NCAA’s sanctions against USC for the Reggie Bush scandal failed to have the desired affect.  The Trojans come off their sanctions ranked #1 in the country and are loaded.  I’m not sure what message that sends, but the NCAA clearly sucks at changing cultures of big time programs.  The problem for USC is what player to promote for the Heisman. Barkley & Woods kick off their campaigns in grand fashion. Hawaii is happy to visit the mainland and let USC fans know they go to school somewhere with better weather than SoCal.  59 – 10 Trojans. 

#8 Michigan v. #2 ‘Bama – Finally! Two programs not afraid to play a tough game early!  This game will be played at Jerry Jones House in Arlington, TX.  The Wolverines bring the electric QB Denard Robinson to the Lonestar State to face ‘Bama’s NFL caliber D.  ‘Bama loses Heisman finalist Trent Richardson, but always seems to reload on in the backfield.  AJ McCarron returns for his 2^nd season as the trigger man for the Tide offense.  It only took 1 season for Brady Hoke to take Michigan from the RichRod debacle to the BCS.  Can he maintain that success in his second season or did he set the bar too high? Go Blue! 23 – 21 Wolverines!

North Texas @ #3 LSU – Honey Badger don’t care! But he should have.  From Heisman finalist to rehab in a matter of months?  Somewhere, Lawrence Taylor sheds a tear and says, “I feel you son!” Has there ever been such a highly ranked team with such a quandary at QB?  LSU is so desperate they even took PSU 3^rd stringer Rob Bolden!  That’s right, the kid was 3^rd string coming out of spring practice, behind a kid who was a former walk on and another who hasn’t played in a game in 2 years.  Yet, LSU saw him as a good option.  You have to wonder if they ever watched his tape.  Fortunately for the Tigers, Honey Badger wasn’t even their best DB, and the D will still be as stout as a 350lb man at a buffet.  Tigers 32 – 0.

 

#4 Sooners @ UTEP – OU finished 10-3 last season, but that’s not good enough for the Sooner Nation.  They want BCS titles dammit!  Landry Jones flirted with the NFL, but came back and is one of the best QB’s in college football.  Simply put, OU is loaded on offense.  The Sooners will put up points, but to return to the BCS title game, their D has to be able to stop some teams.  Did you know this is Mike Price’s 9^th season in El Paso?  You think Tide fans have ever been so happy to see a guy take a stripper back to his hotel?  I wonder what ever happened to that stripper.  Sooners 47 – UTEP 14.

Red Wolves @ #5 Ducks – Gus Malzahn takes over the Sun Belt Champs and brings his spread offense with him.  The Red Wolves went undefeated in the Sun Belt and won 10 games last year with a high octane offense.  The Ducks know a thing or two about high octane offenses after averaging 46 points per game last season.  Chip Kelly must first settle on a QB after losing Darron Thomas to graduation.  The RB position has some depth even with the loss of LaMichael James.  Kenjon Barner & dual threat RB/WR De’Anthony Thomas return and both have big play ability.  This also supports my theory that if you add “La” or “De” to any first name, that kid is three times more likely to be a good athlete.  Michael James would be a marketing major, but La Michael James plays for the 49ers! Anthony Thomas would be a plodding RB bust out of Michigan, but De’Anthony Thomas is an explosive weapon for a high powered offense! 63 – 24 Ducks!

Buffalo @ #6 Georgia – Richt is on the hot seat for not being as successful as the rest of the SEC.  Such is life with southern speed. If you don’t have enough of it, you get left behind.  Only an SEC Championship will satisfy the UGA faithful it seems.  The ‘Dawgs have one of the best QB’s in the country in Aaron Murray.  They did kick their best RB off the team though.  Buffalo is, well, Buffalo.  Can you imagine the dedication it takes for Bulls fans to attend their home games in December?  I’m freezing just thinking about it.  ‘Dawgs 35 – Bulls 17

Murray State @ #7 Florida State – Another year, another FSU squad starting the season in the top 10.  We’ve seen this movie before, and like the remake of Judge Dredd, it still stinks.  If this were the NCAA tourney, I’d be picking the Racers all the way.  But unfortunately for Murray State, this game will be on the grid iron.  Quick, who can name where Murray state is located without googling it?  38 – 6 ‘Noles.

#9 Gamecocks @ Vandy – Despite having a culture that emphasized academics and playing in the SEC, the Commodores played good, tough football last year and finished with a 6-7 record.  They are led by the baby brother of a Super Bowl winning QB.  Will Jordan Rodgers follow in his brother’s foot steps?  Can he become the next Eli and win more Super Bowls than his big bro?  Star RB Marcus Lattimore is back from injury to anchor The Ole Ball Coach’s offense this year, but it’s the ‘Cocks D, including true Soph and freak of nature DE Jadeveon Clowney, that will lead the way again.  27 – 13 USCe. 

Jacksonville State @ #10 Arkansas – The John L. Smith era begins! Simultaneously, they are laughing hysterically in East Lansing. The Razorbacks have some NFL talent on offense with RB Knile Davis, back this year from injury, and All-SEC QB Tyler Wilson. I know little to nothing about J-State. 54 – 13 Razorbacks. 

Marshall @ #11 W Virginia – Can the Friends of Coal Bowl (seriously, that’s what it’s called) really be a rivalry if one side has NEVER won?  Could this be the year the Thundering Herd pull off the upset?  Nope. LIGHT UP THE COUCHES!   37 – 17 Mountaineers. 

Northern Iowa @ #12 Wisky – Seriously Badgers?  C’mon.  You can’t proclaim your domination when you open with a cupcake that plays in the FCS.  That’d be like talking shit on Joey Chestnut after one hot dog. Wisky starts another transfer QB this year.  Rumor is they’ll be targeting whomever PSU has at QB for next.  Why recruit and develop QB’s when you can have another team do it for you? Another easy pre-season win for the Badgers.  49 – 10. 

#24 Boise @ #13 Sparty – Boise beefs up their Non-conf schedule in anticipation of weakening their conference schedule by joining the Big East.  Sparty is riding the high water mark of their program for all it’s worth.  The Little Brother is getting a big ego in East Lansing.  Early season road game against a highly ranked opponent?  Sounds like exactly what Boise ordered.  Boise 30 – Sparty 27. 

#14 Clemson v. Auburn – Tigers v. Tigers in the Georgia Dome! Who knew there were so many tigers roaming around the south back in the day?  We last saw Clemson constantly picking the wrong D in Tecmo Bowl and giving up 70 points.  It’s way too early for Clemson’s annual late season melt down.  Auburn is still basking in their ‘Bama Sandwich national title.  They really start them early in SEC country.  Auburn’s #1 rated DT recruit, Dee Liner – Muscle Shoals, AL, is suspended from his high school team indefinitely for off field incidents.  Auburn has considered pulling it’s offer, but since the kid is highly rated and another SEC school would offer him, they’ll stick with this kid.  Better to have and suspended than to not have had at all.  #culture  Clemson 30 – Auburn 24

Wyoming at #15 Texas – Mack Brown finally settled on David Ash as his QB.  Now the kid has to play like a starter.  Texas’s D has not been a problem, and they look to be one of the best in the nation again this year.  The problem since Colt McCoy left town has been the offense.  8 wins seasons get you on the hot seat in Austin.  Everything is bigger in Texas, especially the culture of college football.  If Mack Brown doesn’t take the ‘Horns to a BCS game this year, his seat will be hotter than a west Texas bbq.  Wyoming’s nickname is the Cowboys.

GA Tech @ #16 VA Tech – a college version of Monday Night Football before the NFL kicks off!  The Yellowjackets bring their option offense north to battle the Hokies and stud QB Logan Thomas.  The Hokies always seems to be solid on offense and excel on special teams.  Thomas will be playing on Sundays next year and leads a good but not great Hokie offense. Long time Coordinator Bud Foster’s D will once again be the bread & butter of the Hokies.  Though thin the secondary, the unit is still one of the best in the country.  GA Tech finished 2^nd in rush yards per game last year… and 112^th in passing.  To say they are one dimensional would be like saying Kristen Stewart can’t act.  It’s painfully obvious to anyone that has watched either for 5 minutes.  Hokies 33 – Yellowjackets 27. 

Southern Miss @ #17 Nebraska – the ‘Huskers return a talented backfield of Taylor Martinez and Rex Burkhead.  I’m still not sure how a QB can be labeled a “dual threat” if they are not capable of reading a defense on a pass play.  QB’s that can’t run are pocket passers, so what should QB’s that can’t pass be called?  Fanny Pack Passers since they should only be used to run?  Southern Miss has a new coach and Brett Favre is still an alum.  So they’ve got that going for them, which is nice.  27 – 17 Huskers. 

Miami (OH) @ #18 Buckeyes – And so it begins… the Urban Meyer era of Buckeye football.  Will this marriage be more like Kurt & Goldie or Kim & Kris?  Hard to say right now, but what we do know is Urbz has to at least equal the success of his predecessor or he’ll be on the hot seat very quickly.  OSU will try to create Tebow 2.0, but this version has less of a cult following but has not upgraded the passing ability.  If Braxton Miller ever learns how to be a QB instead of a RB that throws a ball, lookout! Miami does have some talent at QB in NFL prospect Zak Dysert, but the talent around him is not on par with the Buckeyes D. Look for the NCAA to sanction Miami (OH) any day now for the Miami (FL) scandal.  The NCAA doesn’t care about facts; one Miami is just as good as another. 31 – 13 Buckeyes.

Savannah State @ #19 Okie State – Okie State loses 1^st round picks WR Blackmon and QB Weeeden.  Will the Cowboys be reloading or rebuilding this year?  That question will have to be answered at a later date. We won’t learn anything in this exhibition game.  63 – 14 Cowboys.

Other Sparty @ #21 Stanford – This year begins the real transition for Stanford football.  They produced without Harbaugh last year, but now must do so without arguably the best QB to set foot on campus since Elway.  There is still some talent on the Cardinal and they’ll continue to be well coached, but is there enough to take down USC and Oregon in the Pac 12?  San Jose State needs a Silicon Valley billionaire to be their version of Phil Knight if they ever hope to maintain any success.  45 – 7 Stanford. 

Mizzou State @ #22 K-State – K-State is the off meds manic depressive of college football.  The program either wins 10 games or 2. Feast or famine, there is no in between in little Manhattan.  K-State returns true dual threat QB Collin Klein, who rushed for 1,141 yards and 27 TD’s last season and added 1,918 yards and 13 TD’s through the air.  As long as he stays healthy, K- State should contend in the watered down Big XII this year despite a porous D.  37 – 13 K-State.

Bowling Green @ #23 Florida – Tebow!!!  Ok, now that that’s out of the way, this Florida program has been in disarray since Urbz, ahem, “health problems” caused him to spend more time with his family by hitting the TV studios for a year before getting back on the sidelines.  Lots of quality time spent with family in those studios I’m sure.  Meanwhile the Gators are still searching for a QB. If they ever settle on one, look for the offense to get rolling.  The D should be solid.  Gators 24 – 3

Kentucky @ #25 Louisville – The Battle of the Bluegrass State! Charlie Strong enters his 3^rd season at the helm of the Cardinals after back to back 7-6 season.  True Soph QB Teddy Bridgewater is back after an inconsistent Freshman season.  The Cardinals D was solid last season ranking #26 in the nation.  If the offense can improve and the D keeps pace, the Cardinal may be looking at a 10 win season.  As for the Wildcats, life would be better if Coach Cal could recruit for the football team too.  Kentucky’s offense was atrocious last season and they still managed to win 5 games, 2 in the SEC.  On the bright side, they can’t get much worse on offense… and basketball season is only a few months away!  24 – 7 Louisville.  

Games of Note

Ohio @ Penn State – For the first time since, my god, WWII? PSU will not have a Paterno on the sideline.  New coach, new uniforms, new offense, it’s a brand new day in Happy Valley!! Also gone is PSU’s archaic offense.  Bill O’Brien is installing a modern offense, one that actually game plans to put the players in the best position to succeed.  It’s a breath of fresh air to not have JayPa calling idiotic plays and not allowing our QB to audible out of it even though the D was calling out the play as they broke the huddle.  There will be some major growing pains and the loss of the leading rusher and receiver from last year will hurt, but there are plenty of kids that are stepping up that will make up that production.  The D should still be solid, if not more aggressive.  The secondary is razor thin and will be vulnerable all season.  Ohio won 10 games last year and is no slouch.  They have a very good QB Tyler Tettleton.  He’ll challenge the secondary early and often.  If his line can protect him, he’ll have success.  Look for a low scoring game that will come down to a 4^th quarter possession.  Penn State 20 – 17. 

‘Nova @ Temple – the Battle of Philadelphia!  Temple is back in a BCS conference… don’t laugh!  How do you think Boise felt when they found out they’d be playing Temple?  ‘Nova is contemplating a move to FBS football.  This game will determine bragging rights for the entire city… until basketball season.  27 – 20 Owls.

Notre Dame v. Navy – The Emerald Isle Classic will be played in Dublin, IR.  Have the Irish citizens been demanding to see this game?  Or is it just another reason to drink?  What if there is a soccer game the same day, will anyone show up for this game?  Do they realize “Notre Dame” is actually French?  The Irish have named Everett Golson as their starting QB, earning him the right to be screamed at by an overweight, red faced leprechaun every game.  Brian Kelly said it was a tough decision, but he really enjoyed going ape shit on Golson more so than Hendrix or Rees.  As for Navy, 4^th in rushing 119^th in passing last year.  So you know what’s coming, but can the Irish defense stop it?  Midshipmen 34 – 30. 

UTSA Roadrunners @ South Alabama – Both programs are newborns in the world of FBS football.  UTSA appears on track to compete with the big boys soon, after giving two players the “Honey Badger” treatment upon their arrest for aggravated robbery.  I’m sure the NCAA will impose some type of sanctions to officially welcome them to big time college football.  You’re nobody in college football until the NCAA has hammered you!  South Alabama has a team, but that is literally all the news there is about their program.  Jaguars 37 – Roadrunners 17. 

UMass @ UConn – The Minutemen haven’t had this much publicity since Marcus Camby and Coach Cal ruled their hardwood back in the 90’s.  The Minutemen will have their home games in Gillette Stadium, an hour drive from their actual campus. That’ll make for some interesting tailgating. Meanwhile, the buzz around UConn continues to be how they somehow made it to a BCS game a few years ago.  32 – 10 Huskies.

Youngstown State @ Pitt – This is basically a neutral sight game for the Penguins, if not a home game.  Being that Youngstown is not far from Pittsburgh, and Pitt fans only care about playing Penn State, there’s a solid chance there will be more Youngstown fans in the seats than Panther fans. Pitt has another head coach for what seems like the 10^th season in a row.  This time, Paul Chryst leads a moribund program mired in mediocrity since Lance Armstrong was riding a Big Wheel and Tim Tebow was nothing more than a glimmer in God’s eye.  This is my upset special of the week!  27 -24 Y’Town! 

'Tis the season....

College football is right around the corner!  My weekly predictions will be back again this year, but in the meantime, some things to look forward to this upcoming season...

Tis the season for...

Irish fans to prove THIS is their year and Brian Kelly is THE coach to return them to glory!!  Seriously. Finally... after 20+ years.  Not kidding.  This is the year.  No, really.

USC fans to show interest in football... until Kiffin blows a conference game to a huge under dog and the Lakers open training camp.  

Penn State fans to relish in the past glory of only talking about how old Joe is, how awful the offense is and how terrible a coach JayPa is. No more shots of Joe sitting in a booth pretending he knows what's happening, no more fullback dives that everyone in the stadium knows is coming, no more DB's lining up 10 yards off the ball on 3rd & 2...  sigh. 

Wolverine fans to talk about D-Rob as their mini-Tebow... he can run like Bolt and throw like... well.... Tebow.

Gator fans to talk about......  Tebow. 

Seminole fans to tell the rest of us that NO WAY ARE WE OVER RATED!!

Arkansas fans to wonder which is worse, Petrino's affair or hiring John L Smith.

Sparty fans to continue to show how they have no idea how to handle success and be even more crude & classless than last season. 

Pitt fans to pack their stadium....  on Sundays.

Temple fans to rejoice like a jilted lover being taken back... even if it is the Big East that wants them back. 

UNC fans to thank the NCAA for not getting involved in academic fraud cases.

Duke fans to look forward to basketball season. 

Longhorn fans to long for the days of Vince & Colt while their program continues to under achieve. 

A&M fans to FINALLY be out of their big brother's shadow! And then realizing they just moved into a group home full of big brothers. 

Arizona fans to be thankful for RichRod and wonder what all the fuss was about in Ann Arbor.

UCLA fans to talk trash about USC...  just kidding.

Sooner fans to bitch about Stoops for ONLY winning 10 games and playing in a BCS game. 

LSU fans to wonder what crazy shit Miles will call with the game on the line this year and pray their QB play can't possibly get worse.  Hint: Rob Bolden is not the answer at QB.

Hurricane fans to thank Penn State for taking the spot light off of their scandal. 

Rutgers fans to .... ummm.... I don't know what Rutgers fans do... cheer for Tampa Bay? 

Ducks fans to find out which player Nike will be promoting for a Heisman this year. 

'Bama fans to begin work on a Saban statue that will rival the Washington Monument.

Auburn fans to poison the water in Tuscaloosa.   

Mountaineer fans to burn couches in anticipation of getting drunk and burning couches.

Gamecock fans to hope Spurrier can capture the coaching magic he had back in the 90's.

Badger fans to start making plans for the Big Ten championship game.  Seriously, OSU & PSU are ineligible.  It's a foregone conclusion. 

Buckeye fans to act even more obnoxious than they did under Tressel.

Mizzou fans to be happy they've gone from an also ran in the Big XII to an also ran in the SEC. 

Clemson fans to forget about giving up 70 points in a  bowl game and celebrating how great they are until their annual late season collapse.

TCU fans to get new pot dealers.

Stanford fans to take a break from studying to realize Andrew Luck now plays in Indanapolis... back to studying. 

Okie State fans to thank T. Boone Pickens for making them the Oregon of the mid west.

Hokie fans reminding everyone that they played for national title once when Michael Vick was in Blacksburg. 

Sun Devil fans to check out all the hot co-eds. 

K-State fans to wonder why the hell Bill Snyder is the only coach that can win in Manhattan and hope he lives forever. 

Husker fans to hope Taylor Martinez figured out how to read a defense. 

Wazzu fans to anticipate what kind of crazy shit Mike Leach will say at his press conferences. 

BYU fans to celebrate their football independence by sending the team on a 2 year mission. 

Boise St. to say, "I can't believe we got a BCS bid for moving to an EASIER conference than the Mountain West!"

Iowa fans to hope for just one running back that isn't injured or kicked off the team. 

Maryland to up the ugly uniform ante by playing in actual turtle shells.

Baylor to look back fondly on the days their program was relevant in college football. 

Tennessee to hold their pre-season pep rally by burning Kiffin in effigy. 

Vanderbilt to show there actually is one SEC school that values academics over football.

Illinois coaches to open a branch office in State College to recruit 3rd & 4th stringers that will start in Champagne.  I recommend they check out the PSU Creamery while following the players around campus.

The UT-San Antionio Road Runners, Texas State Bobcats, UMass Minutemen and South Alabama Jaguars to be welcomed to FBS football!

Mark May to spout off about how Penn State is the great Satan of college football and espousing how awesome Pitt is despite their irrelevance for the past 30 years. 

The media to fall all over themselves proclaiming how great the SEC is and every other conference sucks, except USC. 

Honey Badger to put down the pipe and start caring. 

Toilet Bowl Predictions

It's the most wonderful time of the year.... BOWL TIME!!!  With so many bowl games, and more than half of the teams that play in the FBS making a bowl, this column will focus on all the bowl games played prior to the new year.  I'll cover the new year's and BCS bowls later. 

As a reward for all their hard work this season, any team that has a record of at least .500 or better, or in UCLA's case, a losing record, gets the reward of playing in a bowl game sponsored by a company most people have never heard of in a location most of their fans won't travel too. 

And for your viewing pleasure, the fans get such great matchups like Temple v. Wyoming, and Florida International v. Marshall.  Compelling television indeed.

What kind of swag do you think the players in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl get?  A bag of potatoes, and disposable razor, a gift card to Wal Mart and a Nintendo Game Boy with Legend of Zelda is my guess.  

First, some Bowl nominations:

Worst Location: It was between Boise, El Paso, and Detroit.  The only thing that would make the Detroit game worse was if it was played outside.  Congrats Detroit.

Worst Sponsor Name:  Since Gaylord Hotels is no longer a sponsor, congratulations to Taxslayer.com.  Their sister company, taxcheats.com, was rejected as a sponsor.  Their offshore company, taxshelters.com, was also rejected.

Worst Team:  a 6-7 UCLA teams is pretty bad.  but when you put them against an Illinois team that is on a 6 game losing streak, you get not only two bad teams that have both fired their coaches, but also....

Worst Bowl Matchup: the worst game of the bowl season.  Bruins v. Fightin' Illini. 

Since I'm only covering bowl games played this year... let's go in chronological order....

Gildan New Mexico Bowl - Temple v. Wyoming - The Owls head west to take on the Cowboys in the first bowl game of the season.  Temple is going to their second bowl game in 3 years, which is nothing short of a miracle considering prior to 2009, they had not been to a bowl since 1979.  The Cowboys are led by dual threat QB Brett Smith.  Temple has a solid D, so this will be a close game.  24 - 17 Owls.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Ohio v. Utah State - Frank Solich leads his Bobcats against the Aggies of Utah State.  I haven't even seen highlights of these two teams this year so I have no clue how this one will play out.  Let's say.... Aggis 41 - Bobcats 31.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - SDSU v. Ragin' Cajuns - Talk about home field advantage.  The Aztecs get to party in Narlins' (Is that how they say it down there?  I have no idea and I can't understand cajun.  Everything I know about Louisiana I've learned from True Blood.  That is one creepy state.  I hope the Vampries don't like the cold and stay in the south.  I wouldn't mind seeing a Minotaur though.) On the other hand, I've been to San Diego, or Northern Tijuana.  The best thing about the drive to San Diego is the sign  on the 5 of the family running across the freeway.  I am not joking.  Cajuns 30 - Aztecs 24. 

Beef O'Brady's Bowl - Marshall v. Florida International - Does anyone care about this bowl?  No?  Didn't think so.  Panthers 32 - Thundering Herd 24

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - TCU v. La Tech - Last year's Rose Bowl champs have fallen to one of 2 bowl games in San Diego. Wouldn't this make much more sense for La Tech to play in the New Orleans Bowl and SDSU to play in the Poinsettia Bowl?  Does it make sense to have a bowl game in Boise?  When will we have our first bowl game overseas?  The NFL already plays in England, can a Bowl game really be that far behind?  I'm predicting the Apple Cuba Bowl in Havana will exist by 2025.  It will pit the 4th place Big East team, let's say... University of Alaska - Juneau against the 16th place SEC team... let's say.... Florida Gulf Coast University.  It will be epic.  As for this game.. not so much.  La Tech 35 - TCU 27

Maaco Las Vegas Bowl - Arizona State v. Boise - Finally a decent matchup!  Boise lost a game this year, so instead of a $13 million BCS payday, they get shipped to Vegas against ASU, who just hired Pitt's HC.  And by the way, Pitt's HC let his former players know he was leaving by TEXTING them while on the plane to Arizona to his new job.  You stay classy Todd Graham. Then again, it's Pitt, so I'd probably want to get the hell out of there as fast as I could too.  On an unrelated note, Mark May is a douchebag.  It can't be long until coaches start calling plays via twitter.  Petersen turned down the UCLA, and supposedly the PSU job as well.  That is a man that REALLY loves Boise, Idaho.  He's going to love flying to the east coast in November to play at Syracuse.  Boise 34 - Sun Devils 31

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl - Nevada v. So Miss - Mahalo! Now THIS is a bowl game I'd want to be part of! Although there's probably quite a few places I'd rather be than Southern Mississippi or Reno.  In fact, I'd rather be anywhere than the state of Mississippi.  As would Larry Fedora, who bolted for Tobacco Road after winning Conference USA. Which team can stave off island fever long enough to win on the Big Island?  I'm going with the Golden Eagles 40 - Wolf Pack 35

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl - Mizzou v. North Carolina - Do companies just try to buy bowl naming rights just to screw with us?  I think big corporations form shell companies with horrific names and buy bowl naming rights just to write it off.  I have no clue what AdvoCare V100 is, does, or sells.  I'm guessing it's either motor oil, or some kind of patch to help people stop doing crystal meth.  Mizzou is on it's way to the SEC while the Tar Heels are welcoming their new coach... and anxiously awaiting march madness.  Tigers 37 - Tar Heels 29. 

Little Caesars Bowl - W Mich v. Purdue - Congrats to these two teams for putting in all their hard work and getting a bowl game in .... Detroit.  In December. They should play this game in the parking lot of Ford Field, on the asphalt.  That would be the only way they could actually get me interested in this game and even then I still may not watch.  Boilers 17 - W Mich 14.

Belk Bowl - NC State v. Louisville - A home game for N.C. State, and I think Louisville somehow was a co-champ of some sort in the Big East.  In fact, I think the entire league, save for Pitt, shared part of the Big East championship.  To determine who got the BCS bid, they determined who was most desperate to leave the conference and gave it to West Virginia.  NC State has Russell Wilson, er, wait. The Wolfpack has Senior Mike Glennon leading a good passing attack.  Louisville has a terrible offense but a very solid D.  This game is strength v. strength, or weakness v. weakness of Louisville's O and NC State's D.  Wolfpack 24 - Cardinal 21

Military Bowl - Presented by Northrop Grumman - Toledo v. Air Force - I feel like this bowl should be played in Baghdad, and by 2025 when Iraq is a thriving democracy and a regional power keeping Iran in check, and with their brand new Haliburton Stadium built for the World Cup, it will be.  In the meantime, this game is played in the capital of political dysfunction and back door deals, D.C.  As for Toledo, they have a potent offense and terrible D.  The Falcons run a one dimensional ground based offense.  This one will be a shootout.  45-35 Rockets.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl - Cal v. Texas - The Holiday is typically one of the best non-BCS bowl games every year.  This year should be no different.  Texas is still suffering from post-McCoy trauma, even though they still have Case McCoy on campus.  They also have Jaxon Shipley, Jordan's brother.  Can the two little brother's of two NFL players be that bad?  Cal is stuck in neutral with Tedford at the helm while rival Stanford has taken off.  Longhorns 28 - Golden Bears 24.

Champs Sports Bowl - Florida State v. Notre Dame - Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!  In a battle of Rudy v. the 2nd most powerful SEC in this country, who wins?  I'm going with the Securities & Exchange Commission.  Would you eve drink a sports drink called "Rudy! Dream Big!"?  Apparently the bottle is smaller than ever other sports drink and you buy it as a last resort when no other drinks are available.  Retailers refused to carry the drink for years but that damn little Elf persistent.  Maybe a little too much so, since the SEC nailed him for a pump & dump scheme.  FSU's return to national prominence will have to wait  until next year.  Seminoles 35 - Irish 32

Valero Alamo Bowl - Washington v. Baylor - Heisman winner RGIII!!!  The kid is sick.  If you haven't watched him this year, tune in, it may be his last college game.  He's a ridiculous athlete that can actually play QB too.  UW faded down the stretch despite a decent offense.  The Huskies D is a mess.  RGIII is going to have a field day.  56-31 Bears. 

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl - There are zero military academies in the Armed Forces Bowl.  And although I'm very interested in buying a Bell Helicopter for Chistmas, I'm not sure I can fit it into my budget.  BYU v. Tulsa - 5 star QB prospect Jake Heaps is transferring after losing his starting job for BYU this year. The newly minted independent school has an ok offense and a solid D.  Tulsa has a wide open spread offense and, like many schools that run the spread, a horrible D.  The Golden Hurricane will end up Cougar meat.  27-24 BYU. 

New Era Pinstripe Bowl - Rutgers v. Iowa State - You know how you know when a baseball team is dominant?  They have their own Bowl game.  The Yankees host the Cyclones & Scarlet Knights in the Bronx.  Rutgers is one dimensional on offense, but shockingly it's all in the passing game.  Their rushing game is one of the worst in the nation.  The D is solid, but they also played against Big East teams, soooo... Iowa State knocked the Okie State Cowboys out of the national title game.  And thank god they did so we can get an all SEC rematch! How much would that have sucked having to watch a non-SEC team in the BCS championship.  Thank you Iowa State.  As a reward, I predict you win in the Bronx.  33-27 Cyclones.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl - Miss St v. Wake Forest - Two 6-6 teams kickoff in Nashville for a bowl sponsored by a mortgage company.  Interesting that a mortgage company is spending cash to sponsor a bowl while the housing market is still in the crapper.  The Bulldogs passing game is terrible, their running game slightly better, but their D is a top 20 defense in the nation.  They also played a tough schedule in the SEC West.  The Demon Deacons are the opposite, with a solid passing game and a bad running game and D.  I can see this one being a blowout.  Bulldogs 47 - Deacons 17. 

Insight Bowl - Iowa v. Oklahoma - Iowa has lost to every ranked team they've played this year, plus Iowa State & Minnesota.  The Hawkeyes do have a good RB in Coker.  He is a poor man's Monte Ball.  He won't run away from you, but he'll try to run over you.  The Sooners got bit hard by the injury bug this year.  They lost their starting RB, LB, and one of the best WR's in the game in Ryan Broyles.  Yet this still managed 9 wins.  The Sooners got dismantled by Okie State in their last game.  They may take out some frustrations on the Hawkeyes.  41-17 Sooners.

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas - Texas A&M v. Northwestern - In case you didn't know where the Meineke Car Care Bowl is played, they even put it in title of the bowl game.  Is there another Meineke Car Care Bowl being played somewhere else and they don't want us to get confused?  I was looking forward to the MCCB of North Dakota.  Another matchup of two 6-6 teams.  Northwestern lives & dies by Dan Persa.  If he's on, their offense is tough to stop.  The Wildcats D is terrible.  Likewise, A&M has Ryan Tannehill who is just as difficult to stop, and like the Wildcats, the Aggies D is terrible. This is the Wildcats 4th bowl game in a row, and despite being competitive in all of them, including two OT games, they have yet to come out with a win.  This one is going to be a shootout. 49-45 Northwestern.

Hyundai Sun Bowl - Ga Tech v. Utah - I hear El Paso is beautiful this time of year.  The Yellow Jackets take their old school option offense out west for a matchup against the spread offense of the Utes.  Utah's first season in the Pac-12 didn't go as well as planned.  They lost to bottom feeder Colorado in the last game of the regular season and had to go to OT to beat Wazzu.  Ga Tech had a tough second half of the season, going 2-4, including getting destroyed by arch-rival Georgia.  So which team actually cares about this game?  Whichever team that is wins easily.  31-10 Yellow Jackets.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl - Cincy v. Vanderbilt - Cincy, another co-champ of the Big east, takes on a Vandy team that has played tough all season despite having less talent on the roster than just about every other SEC team.  Cincy has a tough D and a middling O.  Vandy has a horrific passing game, ok running game and a good D.  This one is going to be a defensive battle.  27-20 Vandy.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl - UCLA v. Illinois - How does Kraft expect to Fight Hunger when they have the worst bowl matchup of the year?  They'd have a better chance of fighting hunger by canceling this game and using that money to send a bunch of yellow cheese slices wrapped in plastic to African countries in need. On the plus side, maybe the players will get a family size Mac N' Cheese in the swag for this game.  That will feed a college student for weeks.  Will UCLA fans bother taking the 60 minute flight north to San Fran?  Will Illini fans even bother watching this on TV?  Illini 28 - Bruines 24. 

Chick-Fil-A Bowl - Virginia v. Auburn - Chick-Fil-A sponsors bowl games... and the anti-gay movement.  So make sure you Eat More Chickin'... and hate on gays! Life after Newton has not been kind to Auburn.  The Tigers passing game is ranked 106th in the nation and their D is 80th in points against.  The Tigers have also suspended top RB Michael Dwyer for a violation of team rules.  Rumor is he may transfer, so who knows what he did.  What does a player in the SEC have to do to get kicked off the team?  I mean seriously, they don't have to go to class, they get extra benefits, hell they even get in fights outside of bars and stomp people (Ahem, Jordan Jefferson at LSU) and stay on the team. Cam Newton was kicked out of Florida for stealing laptops, so I guess that's the bar. Virginia has an average offense and a solid D.  Mike London is a good coach who has been recruiting very well for the Cavs. Will the defending champs fall all the way to 7-6?  Will they be able to find a QB to buy for next season?  Cavaliers 23-17. 

Happy Holidays everyone!! 

Championship Week Predictions

I hope everyone had a happy & pie filled thanksgiving. 

My pie to person ratio was around 8:4, but we also had some cannolis, ice cream and smidgens.  What's a smidgen?  Only the most delicious combination of peanut butter and chocolate ever. 

The final week before the bowl games is upon us.  Why the hell does football season always have to go bye so fast?  Let's take a look at the blur that was the regular season...

Ranked to Spanked -A few teams fit into this category of teams ranked in the top 25 to start the season that are nowhere near that as we enter December. 

OSU - 6-6 Ohio State got kicked while they were down by losing to Michigan for the first time in 7 years and ended their season on a 3 game losing streak.  Life after Tressell has not been kind in Columbus, however, they have immediate help on the way.  More on that next week. 

Miss St - The Mississippi State Bulldogs also finished 6-6 after starting the season ranked.  To be fair, MSU plays in the SEC West, and apparently Starkville is not exactly the most popular destination in the SEC from what I've heard. Will Dan Mullen even be there next year?  More on that next week. 

Florida Gators - The Gators were looking to bounce back to being national title contenders under new HC Will Muschamp, and got off to a hot start at 4-0, then lost their next 4, all to ranked teams.  Florida's offense almost makes Penn State's offense look good.  The Gators only won two games after their hot start, and should have lost to Vandy and were losing big to Furman before pouring it on.  Charlie Weiss's schematic offensive advantage was squandered by his gigantic weight disadvantage. If they ever do a celebrity Biggest Loser, Fatty Weiss, Mark Mangino, Rex Ryan and Andy Reid will all be in contention, but clearly the scale would tip towards Charlie. 

Texas A&M - So A&M is so angry that the LHN will give Texas more money the rest of the Big XII they took their pigskin and went to the SEC.... and then went 6-6 and fired their HC?  So now not only are they joining the SEC, but also searching for a new HC and basically a new identity since they completely shit the bed this year, including losing to their bitter rival Texas in what could be their last game for a long time. 

FSU - The Seminoles were the hottest "it" team in the nation during September.  Talk of a return to the glory days under Bowden were running rampant throughout Tallahassee.  Then the 'Noles went on a 3 game losing streak and finished 8-4.  Not exactly a return to glory for Jimbo Fisher, but not that bad either. The 'Noles do have what will most likely be the #1 recruiting class in the nation coming in next year.

Mizzou - the Tigers played tough all season, but couldn't quite put it all together until a 3 game winning streak to close the season.  Like A&M, they are SEC bound next year.  Unlike A&M, they beat the Longhorns in their final meeting before leaving the Big XII.  Will anyone outside of Lawrence or Colombia miss the Border War rivalry?  Was anyone aware of it before?

Who? to WOO HOO! - teams that started the year outside the top 25 and ended surprising everyone...

Houston - 6 year veteran Case Keenum is in his final year of his contract with the Houston Cougars and will be entering free agency next year.  Case has the worst agent ever, b/c he's spent those 6 years with the Houston Cougars of Confrence USA and not the Houston Texans. He also now owns just about every relevant NCAA passing record.  Although with Shaub & Leinart's injuries, Case is far and away the best QB in Houston right now.  Actually that would be true even if Leinart was not injured.  If Houston can close out Southern Miss in the Conference USA championship game and finish 13-0, the Cougars will be BCS bound.  Could they be the next Boise State?  More like is that their coach Kevin Sumlin will bolt for one of the numerous BCS conference positions currently open. 

Baylor - this team may not even be above .500 if not for RGIII.  The kid is just that damn good.  If the Bears even had a semblance of a decent defense, they may be a top 5 team. 

Southern Miss - Brett Favre U will play their first ranked team this weekend when they take on Houston.  Despite a cupcake schedule, the Golden Eagles still managed to lose to Marshall and UAB.  Larry Fedora's name has been tossed around as a possible candidate for a BCS program.  If he can take down Case & the Cougars, he might get his shot. 

Michigan - Did ANYONE expect Hoke to go 10-2 in his first season?  What he's done for Michigan's D with essentially the same players Rich Rod had is nothing short of a miracle.  D-Rob is hands down one of the most exciting players in college football.  If he ever figures out how to become a consistent passing threat, I'm not sure there is a defense that can stop him.

Clemson - The Tigers started 8-0 before dropping 3 of their last 4.  Normally Clemson would have dropped a game early on, so it's impressive they lasted 2 months without blowing it.  The find themselves in the ACC championship against Va Tech with a chance to make it to a BCS bowl that nobody will watch b/c the ACC always plays a Non-auto qualifier or a Big East team.  

Kansas State - The Wildcat started ugly with a 10-7 win over FCS opponent Eastern Kentucky, a team comprised mostly of cousins and only 5 players with all their teeth. And if not for having to play teams from Oklahoma, they Wildcats would be undefeated this year.  It's amazing that this team is anywhere near the top 25, and yet somehow is on the doorstep of finishing in the top 10 if they can beat the Iowa State Cyclones and win their bowl game.

Penn State - Back in August I said I expected this team to go 8-4, but wouldn't have been surprised by 7-5.  Well, I'm ecstatic with 9-3!  This offense has been anemic at best all year.  I'm not sure Matt McGloin would start for any other team in the top 25.  And despite what may be the biggest scandal in college football history, this team remained focused and played tough.  Even after getting blown out at Wisconsin, this team still over achieved this year.  It's sad that for some reason everyone wants to blame the current players for the scandal when they had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, because this team has a ton of heart and has carried themselves with tremendous character in the face of all the venom the media has spewed at them.  This is not the most talented PSU team ever, but I am most definitely proud of this team this year. 

Conference Championship Predictions:

UCLA @ #9 Oregon - UCLA gets to play another day due to USC being banned from post season play by the NCAA for cheating.  And as a reward for making it to the Pac 12 Championship game, UCLA fired their coach.  UCLA has also crossed Chris Petersen off their HC search list.  AKA, Chris Petersen said "No thanks, I'd rather stay in Boise, Idaho than coach in Westwood, CA."  Ouch.  That would be like a player asking to stay with the Wilkes Barre/Scranton Yankees instead of getting called up to the Bronx.  This game is happening right now and Oregon is rolling.  The Ducks will probably end up putting up 60+ points, but the Bruins are playing tough, there's just way too much talent in Eugene for the Bruins to handle. 

#24 Southern Miss @ #6 Cougars - As stated above, Southern Miss has not beat a ranked team all year and lost to two pretty bad teams.  The Cougars have their all world QB dropping bombs all over the field in his assault on the NCAA record books.  This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but I have a feeling Southern Miss wins this one.  45-42 Golden Eagles.

#14 Georgia v. #1 LSU - LSU has taken on and beaten all comers this year.  Their schedule has been as hard as any contenders as I can remember.  Georgia has bounced back nicely after a bad start.  Can the Bulldogs pull off a miracle?  Doubtful.  27-10 LSU.

#10 Sooners @ #3 Cowboys - Bedlam is the de-facto Big XII championship game is being held in Stillwater this year.  The Cowboys can get over the BCS hump and possibly get into the BCS championship game if they win and get help from the Bulldogs.  Even if the Bulldogs do win, the media & computers seem to want an LSU v. 'Bama rematch.  Frankly, I hate rematches.  'Bama had their shot and couldn't win at home.  They deserve a BCS game, but didn't even win their division or their conference.  Someone else should get their shot, and LSU shouldn't have to beat someone they already beat again.  I'd love to see the Cowboys high flying offense against LSU's shut down D.  All of this is pure conjecture b/c the Sooners are no pushovers.  They still want to get to the BCS and have a great shot at doing so.  They lost their starting RB and one of the best WR's in college football to injury, but they still have Landry Jones at QB, which gives them a shot.  This one will be a shootout.  35-31 Cowboys.

#15 Badgers v. #13 Spartans - Sparty seems to think the Big Ten wants the Badgers to head to their second straight Rose Bowl.  If last week's game against PSU is any indication, the Badgers are allowed to hold without getting penalized.  PSU would not have won regardless, but the Badgers holding was egregious.  If they are allowed to hold like that again, or if Kirk Cousins throws the ball into the dirt after a false start and gets a flag for unsportsmanlike conduct like McGloin got last week, then the Spartans have no shot.  Cousins is also WAY better than McGloin and should be able to move the ball against the Badgers secondary.  Russell Wilson is smart, athletic, and accurate with the ball.  He knows where he's going to throw and can do so with pinpoint accuracy.  And as PSU learned last week, he's tough to bring down.  Combine him with Ball's downhill running style and the Badgers are tough to stop, but away from Camp Randall, they seem to not be as tough.  31-28 Badgers.

#5 Va Tech v. #20 Clemson - Frank Beamer is now the longest tenured active coach in FBS.  He still has zero national championships.  Clemson is back to being Clemson after starting 8-0.  If this were the ACC basketball championship game I'd be interested in watching.  36-31 Hokies.

UConn @ Cincy - Cincy can claim a share of the Big East championship with a win.  Who gets the BCS automatic bid?  Who cares.  It's the Big East and no one watches whatever BCS game they are in any way.  Cincy 47-17. 

Upset of the week:

#22 Texas @ #17 Baylor - even though Texas is ranked lower, it would still feel like an upset if Baylor won.  43-24 Bears.