It's the most wonderful time of the year.... BOWL TIME!!!
With so many bowl games, and more than half of the teams that play in
the FBS making a bowl, this column will focus on all the bowl games
played prior to the new year. I'll cover the new year's and BCS bowls
later.
As a reward for all their hard work
this season, any team that has a record of at least .500 or better, or
in UCLA's case, a losing record, gets the reward of playing in a bowl
game sponsored by a company most people have never heard of in a
location most of their fans won't travel too.
And for your viewing pleasure, the
fans get such great matchups like Temple v. Wyoming, and Florida
International v. Marshall. Compelling television indeed.
What kind of swag do you think the
players in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl get? A bag of potatoes, and
disposable razor, a gift card to Wal Mart and a Nintendo Game Boy with
Legend of Zelda is my guess.
First, some Bowl nominations:
Worst Location: It was between
Boise, El Paso, and Detroit. The only thing that would make the Detroit
game worse was if it was played outside. Congrats Detroit.
Worst Sponsor Name: Since
Gaylord Hotels is no longer a sponsor, congratulations to
Taxslayer.com. Their sister company, taxcheats.com, was rejected as a
sponsor. Their offshore company, taxshelters.com, was also rejected.
Worst Team: a 6-7 UCLA teams is
pretty bad. but when you put them against an Illinois team that is on a
6 game losing streak, you get not only two bad teams that have both
fired their coaches, but also....
Worst Bowl Matchup: the worst game of the bowl season. Bruins v. Fightin' Illini.
Since I'm only covering bowl games played this year... let's go in chronological order....
Gildan New Mexico Bowl - Temple v.
Wyoming - The Owls head west to take on the Cowboys in the first bowl
game of the season. Temple is going to their second bowl game in 3
years, which is nothing short of a miracle considering prior to 2009,
they had not been to a bowl since 1979. The Cowboys are led by dual
threat QB Brett Smith. Temple has a solid D, so this will be a close
game. 24 - 17 Owls.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Ohio v.
Utah State - Frank Solich leads his Bobcats against the Aggies of Utah
State. I haven't even seen highlights of these two teams this year so I
have no clue how this one will play out. Let's say.... Aggis 41 -
Bobcats 31.
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl -
SDSU v. Ragin' Cajuns - Talk about home field advantage. The Aztecs get
to party in Narlins' (Is that how they say it down there? I have no
idea and I can't understand cajun. Everything I know about Louisiana
I've learned from True Blood. That is one creepy state. I hope the
Vampries don't like the cold and stay in the south. I wouldn't mind
seeing a Minotaur though.) On the other hand, I've been to San Diego, or
Northern Tijuana. The best thing about the drive to San Diego is the sign on the 5 of the family running across the freeway. I am not joking. Cajuns 30 - Aztecs 24.
Beef O'Brady's Bowl - Marshall v.
Florida International - Does anyone care about this bowl? No? Didn't think so. Panthers 32 - Thundering Herd 24
San Diego County Credit Union
Poinsettia Bowl - TCU v. La Tech - Last year's Rose Bowl champs have
fallen to one of 2 bowl games in San Diego. Wouldn't this make much more
sense for La Tech to play in the New Orleans Bowl and SDSU to play in
the Poinsettia Bowl? Does it make sense to have a bowl game in Boise?
When will we have our first bowl game overseas? The NFL already plays
in England, can a Bowl game really be that far behind? I'm predicting
the Apple Cuba Bowl in Havana will exist by 2025. It will pit the 4th
place Big East team, let's say... University of Alaska - Juneau against
the 16th place SEC team... let's say.... Florida Gulf Coast University.
It will be epic. As for this game.. not so much. La Tech 35 - TCU 27
Maaco Las Vegas Bowl - Arizona
State v. Boise - Finally a decent matchup! Boise lost a game this year,
so instead of a $13 million BCS payday, they get shipped to Vegas
against ASU, who just hired Pitt's HC. And by the way, Pitt's HC let
his former players know he was leaving by TEXTING them while on the
plane to Arizona to his new job. You stay classy Todd Graham. Then
again, it's Pitt, so I'd probably want to get the hell out of there as
fast as I could too. On an unrelated note, Mark May is a douchebag. It
can't be long until coaches start calling plays via twitter. Petersen
turned down the UCLA, and supposedly the PSU job as well. That is a man
that REALLY loves Boise, Idaho. He's going to love flying to the east
coast in November to play at Syracuse. Boise 34 - Sun Devils 31
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl - Nevada v.
So Miss - Mahalo! Now THIS is a bowl game I'd want to be part of!
Although there's probably quite a few places I'd rather be than Southern
Mississippi or Reno. In fact, I'd rather be anywhere than the state of
Mississippi. As would Larry Fedora, who bolted for Tobacco Road after
winning Conference USA. Which team can stave off island fever long
enough to win on the Big Island? I'm going with the Golden Eagles 40 -
Wolf Pack 35
AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl -
Mizzou v. North Carolina - Do companies just try to buy bowl naming
rights just to screw with us? I think big corporations form shell
companies with horrific names and buy bowl naming rights just to write
it off. I have no clue what AdvoCare V100 is, does, or sells. I'm
guessing it's either motor oil, or some kind of patch to help people
stop doing crystal meth. Mizzou is on it's way to the SEC while the Tar
Heels are welcoming their new coach... and anxiously awaiting march
madness. Tigers 37 - Tar Heels 29.
Little Caesars Bowl - W Mich v.
Purdue - Congrats to these two teams for putting in all their hard work
and getting a bowl game in .... Detroit. In December. They should play
this game in the parking lot of Ford Field, on the asphalt. That would
be the only way they could actually get me interested in this game and
even then I still may not watch. Boilers 17 - W Mich 14.
Belk Bowl - NC State v.
Louisville - A home game for N.C. State, and I think Louisville somehow
was a co-champ of some sort in the Big East. In fact, I think the
entire league, save for Pitt, shared part of the Big East championship.
To determine who got the BCS bid, they determined who was most
desperate to leave the conference and gave it to West Virginia. NC
State has Russell Wilson, er, wait. The Wolfpack has Senior Mike Glennon
leading a good passing attack. Louisville has a terrible offense but a
very solid D. This game is strength v. strength, or weakness v.
weakness of Louisville's O and NC State's D. Wolfpack 24 - Cardinal 21
Military Bowl - Presented by
Northrop Grumman - Toledo v. Air Force - I feel like this bowl should be
played in Baghdad, and by 2025 when Iraq is a thriving democracy and a
regional power keeping Iran in check, and with their brand new
Haliburton Stadium built for the World Cup, it will be. In the
meantime, this game is played in the capital of political dysfunction
and back door deals, D.C. As for Toledo, they have a potent offense and
terrible D. The Falcons run a one dimensional ground based offense.
This one will be a shootout. 45-35 Rockets.
Bridgepoint Education Holiday
Bowl - Cal v. Texas - The Holiday is typically one of the best non-BCS
bowl games every year. This year should be no different. Texas is
still suffering from post-McCoy trauma, even though they still have Case
McCoy on campus. They also have Jaxon Shipley, Jordan's brother. Can
the two little brother's of two NFL players be that bad? Cal is stuck
in neutral with Tedford at the helm while rival Stanford has taken off.
Longhorns 28 - Golden Bears 24.
Champs Sports Bowl - Florida State v. Notre Dame - Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! In a battle of Rudy v. the 2nd most powerful SEC
in this country, who wins? I'm going with the Securities &
Exchange Commission. Would you eve drink a sports drink called "Rudy!
Dream Big!"? Apparently the bottle is smaller than ever other sports
drink and you buy it as a last resort when no other drinks are
available. Retailers refused to carry the drink for years but that damn
little Elf persistent. Maybe a little too much so, since the SEC
nailed him for a pump & dump scheme. FSU's return to national
prominence will have to wait until next year. Seminoles 35 - Irish 32
Valero Alamo Bowl - Washington v.
Baylor - Heisman winner RGIII!!! The kid is sick. If you haven't
watched him this year, tune in, it may be his last college game. He's a
ridiculous athlete that can actually play QB too. UW faded down the
stretch despite a decent offense. The Huskies D is a mess. RGIII is
going to have a field day. 56-31 Bears.
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
- There are zero military academies in the Armed Forces Bowl. And
although I'm very interested in buying a Bell Helicopter for Chistmas,
I'm not sure I can fit it into my budget. BYU v. Tulsa - 5 star QB
prospect Jake Heaps is transferring after losing his starting job for
BYU this year. The newly minted independent school has an ok offense and
a solid D. Tulsa has a wide open spread offense and, like many schools
that run the spread, a horrible D. The Golden Hurricane will end up
Cougar meat. 27-24 BYU.
New Era Pinstripe Bowl - Rutgers
v. Iowa State - You know how you know when a baseball team is dominant?
They have their own Bowl game. The Yankees host the Cyclones &
Scarlet Knights in the Bronx. Rutgers is one dimensional on offense,
but shockingly it's all in the passing game. Their rushing game is one
of the worst in the nation. The D is solid, but they also played
against Big East teams, soooo... Iowa State knocked the Okie State
Cowboys out of the national title game. And thank god they did so we
can get an all SEC rematch! How much would that have sucked having to
watch a non-SEC team in the BCS championship. Thank you Iowa State. As
a reward, I predict you win in the Bronx. 33-27 Cyclones.
Franklin American Mortgage Music
City Bowl - Miss St v. Wake Forest - Two 6-6 teams kickoff in Nashville
for a bowl sponsored by a mortgage company. Interesting that a mortgage
company is spending cash to sponsor a bowl while the housing market is
still in the crapper. The Bulldogs passing game is terrible, their
running game slightly better, but their D is a top 20 defense in the
nation. They also played a tough schedule in the SEC West. The Demon
Deacons are the opposite, with a solid passing game and a bad running
game and D. I can see this one being a blowout. Bulldogs 47 - Deacons
17.
Insight Bowl - Iowa v. Oklahoma -
Iowa has lost to every ranked team they've played this year, plus Iowa
State & Minnesota. The Hawkeyes do have a good RB in Coker. He is a
poor man's Monte Ball. He won't run away from you, but he'll try to
run over you. The Sooners got bit hard by the injury bug this year.
They lost their starting RB, LB, and one of the best WR's in the game in
Ryan Broyles. Yet this still managed 9 wins. The Sooners got
dismantled by Okie State in their last game. They may take out some
frustrations on the Hawkeyes. 41-17 Sooners.
Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas -
Texas A&M v. Northwestern - In case you didn't know where the
Meineke Car Care Bowl is played, they even put it in title of the bowl
game. Is there another Meineke Car Care Bowl being played somewhere
else and they don't want us to get confused? I was looking forward to
the MCCB of North Dakota. Another matchup of two 6-6 teams.
Northwestern lives & dies by Dan Persa. If he's on, their offense
is tough to stop. The Wildcats D is terrible. Likewise, A&M has
Ryan Tannehill who is just as difficult to stop, and like the Wildcats,
the Aggies D is terrible. This is the Wildcats 4th bowl game in a row,
and despite being competitive in all of them, including two OT games,
they have yet to come out with a win. This one is going to be a
shootout. 49-45 Northwestern.
Hyundai Sun Bowl - Ga Tech v.
Utah - I hear El Paso is beautiful this time of year. The Yellow
Jackets take their old school option offense out west for a matchup
against the spread offense of the Utes. Utah's first season in the
Pac-12 didn't go as well as planned. They lost to bottom feeder
Colorado in the last game of the regular season and had to go to OT to
beat Wazzu. Ga Tech had a tough second half of the season, going 2-4,
including getting destroyed by arch-rival Georgia. So which team
actually cares about this game? Whichever team that is wins easily.
31-10 Yellow Jackets.
AutoZone Liberty Bowl - Cincy v.
Vanderbilt - Cincy, another co-champ of the Big east, takes on a Vandy
team that has played tough all season despite having less talent on the
roster than just about every other SEC team. Cincy has a tough D and a
middling O. Vandy has a horrific passing game, ok running game and a
good D. This one is going to be a defensive battle. 27-20 Vandy.
Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl - UCLA v.
Illinois - How does Kraft expect to Fight Hunger when they have the
worst bowl matchup of the year? They'd have a better chance of fighting
hunger by canceling this game and using that money to send a bunch of
yellow cheese slices wrapped in plastic to African countries in need. On
the plus side, maybe the players will get a family size Mac N' Cheese
in the swag for this game. That will feed a college student for weeks.
Will UCLA fans bother taking the 60 minute flight north to San Fran?
Will Illini fans even bother watching this on TV? Illini 28 - Bruines
24.
Chick-Fil-A Bowl - Virginia v. Auburn - Chick-Fil-A sponsors bowl games... and the anti-gay movement.
So make sure you Eat More Chickin'... and hate on gays! Life after
Newton has not been kind to Auburn. The Tigers passing game is ranked
106th in the nation and their D is 80th in points against. The Tigers
have also suspended top RB Michael Dwyer for a violation of team rules.
Rumor is he may transfer, so who knows what he did. What does a player
in the SEC have to do to get kicked off the team? I mean seriously,
they don't have to go to class, they get extra benefits, hell they even
get in fights outside of bars and stomp people (Ahem, Jordan Jefferson
at LSU) and stay on the team. Cam Newton was kicked out of Florida for
stealing laptops, so I guess that's the bar. Virginia has an average
offense and a solid D. Mike London is a good coach who has been
recruiting very well for the Cavs. Will the defending champs fall all
the way to 7-6? Will they be able to find a QB to buy for next season?
Cavaliers 23-17.
Happy Holidays everyone!!
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