In addition to football season, the fall also brings us new TV shows! Which shows will survive to see the new year? Hell, which shows will survive until Thanksgiving? For some, being on until Halloween would be a minor miracle. Having worked in the entertainment industry, I can tell you first hand that most shows succeed despite the network execs, not because of them. Let's take a look at the weakest to strongest of Hollywood's latest attempts to entertain us:
FCS - Stars Earn Stripes (NBC). Like the cupcakes that all FBS teams schedule, this category is for shows that are just filler between good teams, or in this case, commercials. They could call this "Dancing with the Stars Rejects". Even Dick Wolf & Mark Burnett can't save this from not only being boring, but embarrassing. Gen. Wesley Clark was a valedictorian at West Point, a Rhodes Scholar, earned the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and even several honorary knighthoods. Now, he hosts a reality show where "stars" pretend to be soldiers. I feel sad for America. I'm pretty sure this has been cancelled already.
Sun Belt - Beauty and the Beast (CW) - A step above FCS, but not quite the big time BCS yet. Yep, it's THAT Beauty & the Beast again. No, this is not animated. Yes, it's remake of the 1987 show of the same name starring Ron Perlman & Linda Hamilton. No, those two do not reprise their roles. Yes, this will be cancelled before the leaves fall off the trees.
It has an interesting premise, a super spy is betrayed by her agency, she survives an assassination attempt, seeks revenge on everyone. Who can't get behind a hot spy seeking revenge on her enemies? The issue is, will anyone see this? Speaking of anyone seeing this, Downtown Abbey is apparently the best show nobody has seen except Emmy voters. I can't say this will be cancelled because I have no idea who still gets Cinemax.
Conference USA - Malibu Country (ABC) - A show most people forget about immediately after watching it, if they watch it. Reba McEntire returns to TV, this time she plays... Reba. BUT! Now she lives in Malibu. So it's TOTALLY different than her previous show, Reba. Country star has family problems, moves to Malibu. Yeah, middle America can totally relate. Is there a big demand for Reba on TV that I'm not aware of? Reba will be back in Nashville by Thanksgiving.
WAC - Arrow (CW) - Like the WAC has a few interesting teams, and if there is absolutely nothing else on, you'll watch it. The CW has a few shows that some may find interesting, if you don't like good writing or acting. Superhero movies are making billions at the box office... so why not the small screen? Remember this doozie of a superhero show?
Now, the CW has brought Legolas, er, the Green Arrow to our homes on a weekly basis. The Arrow, a wealthy playboy by day and vigilante by night, (c'mon!? How is that not copyright infringement?) The Arrow honed his archery skills on a deserted island... blah blah blah. I hope they show this in 3D so he can shoot an Arrow through my eye, which be more pleasant than sitting through an episode.
MAC - Made In Jersey (CBS) - A show that doesn't get any respect, but is better than you think. This show sounds like a new MTV reality show, but it's on your grandparents network, CBS. Working class jersey girl gets a job with a big time New York City law firm. Ironically the "Jersey girl" is played by a Brit, Jessica Blank, but don't worry, they made her hair almost as big as Snookie's. I can't wait for the first Jerseyesque courtroom melt down scene complete with hair pulling.
Mountain West - Last Resort (ABC) - A show that is better than some other higher rated shows. Fans of The Shield will appreciate that Shawn Ryan is back with a new series, Last Resort, starring Andre Braugher, and Kate Beckinsale's favorite Vampire, Werewolf hybrid, Scott Speedman.
Synopsis: 500 feet beneath the ocean's surface, the U.S. ballistic missile submarine Colorado receives their orders. Over a radio channel, designed only to be used if their homeland has been wiped out, they're told to fire nuclear weapons at Pakistan. Captain Marcus Chaplin (Braugher) demands confirmation of the orders only to be unceremoniously relieved of duty by the White House XO Sam Kendal (Speedman) who then finds himself sunddenly in charge of the submarine and facing the same difficult decision. When he also refuses to fire without confirmation of the orders, the Colorado is targeted, fired upon and hit. The submarine and its crew find themselves crippled on the ocean floor, declared rogue enemies of their own country. Now, with nowhere left to turn, Chaplin and Kendal take the sub on the run and bring the mean and women of the Colorado to an exotic island. Here they will find refuge, romance, and a chance at a new life even as they try to clear their names and get home.
Am I wrong or does this sound like a TV version of Crimson Tide? I wonder if they end up on the same island as the one from Lost.
Big Least - Guys with Kids (NBC) & Go On (NBC) - A terrible show that people will watch nonetheless. From Jimmy Fallon comes this, ahem, "comedy" about 3 guys living in the same apartment complex and learning how to be Dad's. Fourteen kids are used to play the 7 kid roles in this show. Over/under on at least 8 of the child stars following the same path as Lindsay Lohan & Amanda Bynes. 
Another TV season, another Mathew Perry sitcom. It seems like this happens every year since the end of Friends. This time, he's a sports radio talk show host who loses his wife and joins a support group in Goon, er, Go On. People will watch because he was on Friends, and NBC is determined to keep at least one of the friends on TV at all times. ACC - Animal Practice (NBC) - it's not quite as good as other popular shows, but is successful nonetheless. My comedy theory is this: Add a midget and a monkey to any situation and you will have something funny no matter what. My theory is sound and time tested. Game of Thrones would be nothing but "Warcraft the Series" if not for Peter Dinklage. This show has half of my theory, with the monkey from The Hangover II being the funniest character on the show.
Big Ten - Chicago Fire (NBC) - A show with a cast full of history and tradition that has lost some of it's luster. What do you get when you take Dick Wolf's Law & Order and cross breed it with Backdraft? You get Chicago Fire. Women will watch because it's got hot firefighters. Men will watch because who among us didn't want to be a firefighter when we were kids? Everyone had that red plastic firefighter helmet back in the day. Then we grew up, and started watching Law & Order, and then came Rescue Me and that motley group of firefighters, and now, as we head into our 30's, we arrive at this show.
Big XII - 666 Park Ave (ABC) - Like the conference, it may lack some luster of the bigger shows, but it's still good. Terry O'Quinn, aka "John Locke", or "Flocke" the smoke monster, from Lost, returns to TV in this drama set in a swanky apartment building, The Drake, on Manhattan's Upper East Side. The catch is, all of the residents have a secret... .
They have all made a deal with the devil to have their every desire fulfilled. I get the sense that this show is loosely based on Lindsay Lohan & Kim Kardashian. ABC is promoting the hell out of this show, which means A. They spent a lot of money on it already and need to recoup some of it or B. They believe in the show and think it will be a hit. I'm going with a little from column A and a little from column B. I would seriously question the judgment of anyone that would build an apartment complex with the address "666" though.
Pac 12 - The Following (Fox) - A high octane show that's not quite as good as the SEC. In this case, Fox brings us "The Following", starring Kevin Bacon who I am now separated from by only 2 degrees. The premise: The FBI estimates there are currently over 300 active serial killers in the U.S. What would happen if these killers had a way of communicating and connecting with each other? What if they were able to work together and form alliances across the country? What if one brilliant psychotic serial killer was able to bring them all together and activate a following? ... OR! What if serial killers unionized! Maybe they can just create a private Facebook page for themselves, or just follow each other on twitter. This show sounds like it's one part X-Files, one part CSI, one part Law & Order with a sprinkling of Bacon bits. I'll be following The Following this fall.
On a side note, if you're into following, and liked Inception and the Dark Knight movies, check out one of Director Christopher Nolan's first movies, Following.
SEC - Vegas (CBS) - This show will win the best ratings year after year. Dennis Quaid, Michael Chiklis, Jason O'Mara, and Carrie-Anne Moss star in this 1960s period drama set in the early days of Sin City. There are no Old Fashioneds or Playboy bunnies, but cowboy hats. Based on the true story of Las Vegas Sheriff Ralph Lamb, Dennis Quaid makes his TV series debut as Lamb, a rancher who goes up against a powerful gangster (Michael Chiklis) to help bring order to Sin City. Casino is one of my favorite movies, and the original Ocean's 11 was a fantastic movie, I only hope this series is as gripping as those two films.
Of course, the if the networks don't immediately get the ratings they want from any of these shows, they'll cancel them. And if by chance a show does turn into a hit, they'll move it's time slot around so many times you'll have no idea when it's on, and then they'll put re-runs on for a month before showing a new episode, leaving the audience guessing as to why the F the network is trying to kill the shows that audiences like.
Note to network execs... viewers don't like playing hide & seek with their shows. We have short attention spans and the internet is always available. Would it kill you to keep the damn shows on consistently and in the same time slot? It would? OK, then I'm going on the internet then. Thank god for Tivo.
Let's talk some football...
Top 25 Action
Ole Miss @ #1 'Bama - Bama's D is the ultimate cock block, nobody can score when they're around.
They have only given up 21 points all season, and 14 of those came against Michigan in the season opener. They have two shut outs already. Last week they crushed Florida Atlantic 40-7. Ole Miss has the 11th ranked rushing attack in the nation, but gave up 66 points to the only ranked opponent they played, and that was a Texas team that isn't exactly lighting up the scoreboard this year. The Rebels will be the latest team to run into the Bama buzz saw. 45-10 Crimson Tide.
#2 Oregon v. Wazzu - The Ducks moved into second on the heels of LSU struggling to put away Auburn last week. The Ducks showed up on D last week, shutting out RichRod's vaunted spread attack 49-0. The Cougars collapsed in the second half against a moribund Colorado team who's coach may still be the first casualty of the season. The Cougars just don't have the players to keep the Ducks out of the end zone. 59-17 Oregon.
Towson @ #3 LSU - The Tigers escaped Auburn last week with a 12-10 win. The close call dropped them to #3 this week. In today's college football, even a win isn't good enough to keep the pace apparently. If you're not winning by impressive margins, the polls don't like you. As Steve Miller said, Towson will take the money and run. 52-0 LSU.
#4 FSU @ South Florida - The Seminoles showed they belong last week, walloping Clemson 49-37. The 'Noles have shown they can score, but can they keep anyone from scoring? Heading into this game, the FSU D had only given up 3 points all season, and the first team they faced with a pulse on offense came out and put up 37 on them. If that D doesn't tighten up, the 'Noles will be good but not great this year. Lucky for FSU they don't face another team currently ranked in the top 25 until the last game of the season against Florida, currently ranked 11. The Bulls are in a tailspin, having lost two straight, including 31-27 to Ball State last week. The skid continues this week, 39-7 Seminoles.
Volunteers @ #5 Bulldogs - The Volunteers lost to the only ranked team they've played this year, losing 37-20 to Florida at home. Georgia has been impressive this year, with QB Aaron Murray leading a potent offense. Could the "Dawgs get caught looking ahead to their top 10 showdown with South Carolina next week? Anything is possible in the SEC. 27-24 Tennessee.
#6 Gamecocks @ Kentucky - Could it be possible for South Carolina to get caught looking ahead too? Like I said, anything is possible, even a bear riding a horse.
#25 Baylor @ #7 Mountaineers - Baylor is 3-0 and has been lighting up the scoreboard all season, but hasn't played anyone of any significance yet. Their toughest game so far as been against the LA-Monroe Warhawks, and they gave up 42 points to them. Needless to say, Baylor is all O and no D. The Mountaineers are not what the Bears need right now. WVU opens with a win in the Big XII debut... 55-34 WVU. Ligth 'em up!
#8 Stanford @ U-Dub - I would've predicted the Cardinal to win this game after they beat USC, but since it was played last night and the Huskies came back in the 4th quarter for a 17-13 win, I'll congratulate the Huskies on their win and wonder if Stanford was still relishing the fall of Troy. I have to mention that if you live in or visit the state of Washington, beware of the Zombie Bees
#12 Texas @ Cowboys - If you watched the Texas offense, you wouldn't think they were currently ranked 7th in the nation in scoring at 49.3 ppg. I didn't even believe it myself. The 'Horns haven't played anyone tough yet, and no, Ole Miss is not a tough game. Okie State is another spread offense team that treats playing defense like Amanda Bynes treats traffic laws, it doesn't apply to them. There should be plenty of scoring in this game. 45-41 Okie State.
On a side note, neither Okie State nor the Dallas Cowboys thought it prudent to by the domain cowboys.com, and as such, Cowboys.com is a gay dating site.
#14 Buckeyes @ # 20 Sparty - E. Gordon Gee spent 64Kon bow ties! Freaking bow ties! He spent an average Americans yearly salary buying a piece of material that he ties around his neck as his trademark look. You just can't make this shit up. It makes you wonder how much OSU spends on it's football players, and their "compliance" department to keep the NCAA in their place. #culture.
The Buckeyes are undefeated, but haven't exactly been impressive this year. Braxton Miller still can't pass consistently. It only took 2 weeks for Sparty to go back to being Sparty. After getting hammered by Notre Dame 20-3 at home, Sparty nearly shit the bed against Eastern Michigan last week, finally pulling away in the 4th quarter and winning 23-7. Sadly, these are still the best two teams in what is turning out to be an awful Big Ten this year. 24-17 Buckeyes.
#15 TCU @ SMU - TCU is the anti-Okie state, winning with stifling D. The Horned Frogs are #1 in the nation in scoring D, giving up a measly 4.3 ppg. Then again, their D has only played 3 games and none of those teams were very good. SMU should fall right in line with the rest of the teams. 42-0 TCU.
#17 Clemson @ Doug Flutie U - 1 ranked team, 1 Clemson loss. This Clemson program is as predictable as the sun coming up. The Tigers got beat up by the 'Noles last week and look to salvage their season against B.C. this week. The Eagles are not a very good team this year, with one of the worst rushing attacks in college football. If they're going to pull the upset, the Eagles will have to air it out. 39-17 Clemson.
#18 Beavers @ Arizona - The Beavers have played 2 ranked teams this year, and are currently 2-0. The Beavers do just enough to win, holding on to beat UCLA last week 27-20. The Beavers formula is to surprisingly air it out on offense and then play solid defense. So far so good. That D will be put to the test against the Wildcats spread offense. RichRod will be looking to rebound after getting shut out in Eugene last week. 24-17 Beavers. Go Beavers!
#19 Louisville @ Southern Miss - Louisville is an overall good team, not great at anything, but good at everything. The Cardinals continue to climb the rankings every week, but haven't played a tough team yet. Southern Miss does not qualify as a tough team this year. In fact, after winning 10 games last year, the Golden Eagles are still looking for their first win this year. 45-7 Louisville.
Badgers @ #22 Cornhuskers - Wisconsin's offense has struggled mightily this year. After firing their offensive line coach already, the Badgers benched QB Danny O'Brien in favor of freshman Joel Stave. Stave got the offense going a little bit last week against UTEP, helping the Badgers put up 37 points. The Badgers coaches only threw the ball 17 times, and relied on the ground attack to help Stave. Despite losing Montee Ball, who may wish he'd left for the NFL, the Badgers were still able to get the win against UTEP. Nebraska has not had any issues putting points on the board this year, but their D is not up to 'Huskers traditional standards just yet. They had a scrimmage against Idaho State last week, and this week should be much tougher. If this game were in Madison, I'd say the Badgers would win. 30-24 Nebraska.
#24 Broncos @ New Mexico - Boise won an ugly game against BYU last week 7-6. It wasn't so much great defense as it was bad offense. The Lobos won their in-state rivalry game last week, dropping New Mexico State 27-14. The Broncos should have an easier time putting up some points this week. 35-13 Boise.
Games of Note
Penn State @ Illinois - Penn State took care of business against Temple last week, winning 24-13 but still making way too many mistakes. Their D is still not very good, with plenty of receivers running open in the secondary. Fortunately Temple's QB couldn't hit the ocean from the beach. Against better teams, the Nittany Lions secondary is in trouble. Could Illinois be that team? The Illini got lit up against LA Tech last week, losing 52-24. The Illini secondary may be worse than PSU's, but can PSU capitalize on it? PSU WR Allen Robinson is turning into one of the best WR's in the country as a true sophomore. How will he respond when teams start game planning to take him out of the passing game? 20-17 Penn State.
Golden Gophers @ Iowa - Iowa set a new low last week, giving up 9 points in the last 45 seconds to lose to Central Michigan 32-31. Iowa is a mess on both offense and defense right now. Meanwhile, the Golden Gophers are undefeated at 4-0. It's not the Gophers are particularly good, it's just that everyone else they've played is worse. 24-7 Minnesota.
Arkansas @ Texas A&M - If Iowa is setting a new low, Arkansas has reached the Ninth Circle of Dante's Inferno. Appropriate that the ninth circle is for treachery considering Bobby Petrino's misdeeds and the Razorbacks program paying the price. Texas A&M may be in a new league, but they're still the same middling program. The Aggies should be able to put up some points as they keep the Razorbacks train wreck of a season going for another week. At this point, the only hope Arkansas has is getting Charlie Strong from Louisville this off season. 41-21 Aggies.
Va Tech v. Cincy - Pop quiz hotshot. Munchie Legaux is:
A. The next Bond villain
B. A french cartoon
C. a porn star
D. Cincy's starting QB
The Hokies bounced back nicely from their debacle against Pitt, beating Bowling Green easily last week, 37-0. The schedule makers were nice to the Bearcats this year. They don't leave Cincy until Oct. 20 when they travel to Toledo. Are the Bearcats for real or just your typical Big East team that can't be a good team outside the conference? 27-24 Hokies.
(The answer is obviously D.)
Hoosiers @ Northwestern - Indiana is Indiana again this year. Northwestern is undefeated and has a legit chance of winning the Big Ten this year. If they can take care of business against the Hoosiers, the Wildcats will head to Happy Valley at 5-0 and will be the favorites in that game. 34-10 Northwestern.
Warhawks @ Green Wave -The Warhawks hung tough against Baylor last week, but just can't stop anyone from scoring. The Green Wave can't score OR defend. Look for the Warhawks to put up some big points against one of the worst D's in football. 55-13 Warhawks.
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