Toilet Bowl Predictions

It's the most wonderful time of the year.... BOWL TIME!!!  With so many bowl games, and more than half of the teams that play in the FBS making a bowl, this column will focus on all the bowl games played prior to the new year.  I'll cover the new year's and BCS bowls later. 

As a reward for all their hard work this season, any team that has a record of at least .500 or better, or in UCLA's case, a losing record, gets the reward of playing in a bowl game sponsored by a company most people have never heard of in a location most of their fans won't travel too. 

And for your viewing pleasure, the fans get such great matchups like Temple v. Wyoming, and Florida International v. Marshall.  Compelling television indeed.

What kind of swag do you think the players in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl get?  A bag of potatoes, and disposable razor, a gift card to Wal Mart and a Nintendo Game Boy with Legend of Zelda is my guess.  

First, some Bowl nominations:

Worst Location: It was between Boise, El Paso, and Detroit.  The only thing that would make the Detroit game worse was if it was played outside.  Congrats Detroit.

Worst Sponsor Name:  Since Gaylord Hotels is no longer a sponsor, congratulations to Taxslayer.com.  Their sister company, taxcheats.com, was rejected as a sponsor.  Their offshore company, taxshelters.com, was also rejected.

Worst Team:  a 6-7 UCLA teams is pretty bad.  but when you put them against an Illinois team that is on a 6 game losing streak, you get not only two bad teams that have both fired their coaches, but also....

Worst Bowl Matchup: the worst game of the bowl season.  Bruins v. Fightin' Illini. 

Since I'm only covering bowl games played this year... let's go in chronological order....

Gildan New Mexico Bowl - Temple v. Wyoming - The Owls head west to take on the Cowboys in the first bowl game of the season.  Temple is going to their second bowl game in 3 years, which is nothing short of a miracle considering prior to 2009, they had not been to a bowl since 1979.  The Cowboys are led by dual threat QB Brett Smith.  Temple has a solid D, so this will be a close game.  24 - 17 Owls.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Ohio v. Utah State - Frank Solich leads his Bobcats against the Aggies of Utah State.  I haven't even seen highlights of these two teams this year so I have no clue how this one will play out.  Let's say.... Aggis 41 - Bobcats 31.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - SDSU v. Ragin' Cajuns - Talk about home field advantage.  The Aztecs get to party in Narlins' (Is that how they say it down there?  I have no idea and I can't understand cajun.  Everything I know about Louisiana I've learned from True Blood.  That is one creepy state.  I hope the Vampries don't like the cold and stay in the south.  I wouldn't mind seeing a Minotaur though.) On the other hand, I've been to San Diego, or Northern Tijuana.  The best thing about the drive to San Diego is the sign  on the 5 of the family running across the freeway.  I am not joking.  Cajuns 30 - Aztecs 24. 

Beef O'Brady's Bowl - Marshall v. Florida International - Does anyone care about this bowl?  No?  Didn't think so.  Panthers 32 - Thundering Herd 24

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - TCU v. La Tech - Last year's Rose Bowl champs have fallen to one of 2 bowl games in San Diego. Wouldn't this make much more sense for La Tech to play in the New Orleans Bowl and SDSU to play in the Poinsettia Bowl?  Does it make sense to have a bowl game in Boise?  When will we have our first bowl game overseas?  The NFL already plays in England, can a Bowl game really be that far behind?  I'm predicting the Apple Cuba Bowl in Havana will exist by 2025.  It will pit the 4th place Big East team, let's say... University of Alaska - Juneau against the 16th place SEC team... let's say.... Florida Gulf Coast University.  It will be epic.  As for this game.. not so much.  La Tech 35 - TCU 27

Maaco Las Vegas Bowl - Arizona State v. Boise - Finally a decent matchup!  Boise lost a game this year, so instead of a $13 million BCS payday, they get shipped to Vegas against ASU, who just hired Pitt's HC.  And by the way, Pitt's HC let his former players know he was leaving by TEXTING them while on the plane to Arizona to his new job.  You stay classy Todd Graham. Then again, it's Pitt, so I'd probably want to get the hell out of there as fast as I could too.  On an unrelated note, Mark May is a douchebag.  It can't be long until coaches start calling plays via twitter.  Petersen turned down the UCLA, and supposedly the PSU job as well.  That is a man that REALLY loves Boise, Idaho.  He's going to love flying to the east coast in November to play at Syracuse.  Boise 34 - Sun Devils 31

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl - Nevada v. So Miss - Mahalo! Now THIS is a bowl game I'd want to be part of! Although there's probably quite a few places I'd rather be than Southern Mississippi or Reno.  In fact, I'd rather be anywhere than the state of Mississippi.  As would Larry Fedora, who bolted for Tobacco Road after winning Conference USA. Which team can stave off island fever long enough to win on the Big Island?  I'm going with the Golden Eagles 40 - Wolf Pack 35

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl - Mizzou v. North Carolina - Do companies just try to buy bowl naming rights just to screw with us?  I think big corporations form shell companies with horrific names and buy bowl naming rights just to write it off.  I have no clue what AdvoCare V100 is, does, or sells.  I'm guessing it's either motor oil, or some kind of patch to help people stop doing crystal meth.  Mizzou is on it's way to the SEC while the Tar Heels are welcoming their new coach... and anxiously awaiting march madness.  Tigers 37 - Tar Heels 29. 

Little Caesars Bowl - W Mich v. Purdue - Congrats to these two teams for putting in all their hard work and getting a bowl game in .... Detroit.  In December. They should play this game in the parking lot of Ford Field, on the asphalt.  That would be the only way they could actually get me interested in this game and even then I still may not watch.  Boilers 17 - W Mich 14.

Belk Bowl - NC State v. Louisville - A home game for N.C. State, and I think Louisville somehow was a co-champ of some sort in the Big East.  In fact, I think the entire league, save for Pitt, shared part of the Big East championship.  To determine who got the BCS bid, they determined who was most desperate to leave the conference and gave it to West Virginia.  NC State has Russell Wilson, er, wait. The Wolfpack has Senior Mike Glennon leading a good passing attack.  Louisville has a terrible offense but a very solid D.  This game is strength v. strength, or weakness v. weakness of Louisville's O and NC State's D.  Wolfpack 24 - Cardinal 21

Military Bowl - Presented by Northrop Grumman - Toledo v. Air Force - I feel like this bowl should be played in Baghdad, and by 2025 when Iraq is a thriving democracy and a regional power keeping Iran in check, and with their brand new Haliburton Stadium built for the World Cup, it will be.  In the meantime, this game is played in the capital of political dysfunction and back door deals, D.C.  As for Toledo, they have a potent offense and terrible D.  The Falcons run a one dimensional ground based offense.  This one will be a shootout.  45-35 Rockets.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl - Cal v. Texas - The Holiday is typically one of the best non-BCS bowl games every year.  This year should be no different.  Texas is still suffering from post-McCoy trauma, even though they still have Case McCoy on campus.  They also have Jaxon Shipley, Jordan's brother.  Can the two little brother's of two NFL players be that bad?  Cal is stuck in neutral with Tedford at the helm while rival Stanford has taken off.  Longhorns 28 - Golden Bears 24.

Champs Sports Bowl - Florida State v. Notre Dame - Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!  In a battle of Rudy v. the 2nd most powerful SEC in this country, who wins?  I'm going with the Securities & Exchange Commission.  Would you eve drink a sports drink called "Rudy! Dream Big!"?  Apparently the bottle is smaller than ever other sports drink and you buy it as a last resort when no other drinks are available.  Retailers refused to carry the drink for years but that damn little Elf persistent.  Maybe a little too much so, since the SEC nailed him for a pump & dump scheme.  FSU's return to national prominence will have to wait  until next year.  Seminoles 35 - Irish 32

Valero Alamo Bowl - Washington v. Baylor - Heisman winner RGIII!!!  The kid is sick.  If you haven't watched him this year, tune in, it may be his last college game.  He's a ridiculous athlete that can actually play QB too.  UW faded down the stretch despite a decent offense.  The Huskies D is a mess.  RGIII is going to have a field day.  56-31 Bears. 

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl - There are zero military academies in the Armed Forces Bowl.  And although I'm very interested in buying a Bell Helicopter for Chistmas, I'm not sure I can fit it into my budget.  BYU v. Tulsa - 5 star QB prospect Jake Heaps is transferring after losing his starting job for BYU this year. The newly minted independent school has an ok offense and a solid D.  Tulsa has a wide open spread offense and, like many schools that run the spread, a horrible D.  The Golden Hurricane will end up Cougar meat.  27-24 BYU. 

New Era Pinstripe Bowl - Rutgers v. Iowa State - You know how you know when a baseball team is dominant?  They have their own Bowl game.  The Yankees host the Cyclones & Scarlet Knights in the Bronx.  Rutgers is one dimensional on offense, but shockingly it's all in the passing game.  Their rushing game is one of the worst in the nation.  The D is solid, but they also played against Big East teams, soooo... Iowa State knocked the Okie State Cowboys out of the national title game.  And thank god they did so we can get an all SEC rematch! How much would that have sucked having to watch a non-SEC team in the BCS championship.  Thank you Iowa State.  As a reward, I predict you win in the Bronx.  33-27 Cyclones.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl - Miss St v. Wake Forest - Two 6-6 teams kickoff in Nashville for a bowl sponsored by a mortgage company.  Interesting that a mortgage company is spending cash to sponsor a bowl while the housing market is still in the crapper.  The Bulldogs passing game is terrible, their running game slightly better, but their D is a top 20 defense in the nation.  They also played a tough schedule in the SEC West.  The Demon Deacons are the opposite, with a solid passing game and a bad running game and D.  I can see this one being a blowout.  Bulldogs 47 - Deacons 17. 

Insight Bowl - Iowa v. Oklahoma - Iowa has lost to every ranked team they've played this year, plus Iowa State & Minnesota.  The Hawkeyes do have a good RB in Coker.  He is a poor man's Monte Ball.  He won't run away from you, but he'll try to run over you.  The Sooners got bit hard by the injury bug this year.  They lost their starting RB, LB, and one of the best WR's in the game in Ryan Broyles.  Yet this still managed 9 wins.  The Sooners got dismantled by Okie State in their last game.  They may take out some frustrations on the Hawkeyes.  41-17 Sooners.

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas - Texas A&M v. Northwestern - In case you didn't know where the Meineke Car Care Bowl is played, they even put it in title of the bowl game.  Is there another Meineke Car Care Bowl being played somewhere else and they don't want us to get confused?  I was looking forward to the MCCB of North Dakota.  Another matchup of two 6-6 teams.  Northwestern lives & dies by Dan Persa.  If he's on, their offense is tough to stop.  The Wildcats D is terrible.  Likewise, A&M has Ryan Tannehill who is just as difficult to stop, and like the Wildcats, the Aggies D is terrible. This is the Wildcats 4th bowl game in a row, and despite being competitive in all of them, including two OT games, they have yet to come out with a win.  This one is going to be a shootout. 49-45 Northwestern.

Hyundai Sun Bowl - Ga Tech v. Utah - I hear El Paso is beautiful this time of year.  The Yellow Jackets take their old school option offense out west for a matchup against the spread offense of the Utes.  Utah's first season in the Pac-12 didn't go as well as planned.  They lost to bottom feeder Colorado in the last game of the regular season and had to go to OT to beat Wazzu.  Ga Tech had a tough second half of the season, going 2-4, including getting destroyed by arch-rival Georgia.  So which team actually cares about this game?  Whichever team that is wins easily.  31-10 Yellow Jackets.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl - Cincy v. Vanderbilt - Cincy, another co-champ of the Big east, takes on a Vandy team that has played tough all season despite having less talent on the roster than just about every other SEC team.  Cincy has a tough D and a middling O.  Vandy has a horrific passing game, ok running game and a good D.  This one is going to be a defensive battle.  27-20 Vandy.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl - UCLA v. Illinois - How does Kraft expect to Fight Hunger when they have the worst bowl matchup of the year?  They'd have a better chance of fighting hunger by canceling this game and using that money to send a bunch of yellow cheese slices wrapped in plastic to African countries in need. On the plus side, maybe the players will get a family size Mac N' Cheese in the swag for this game.  That will feed a college student for weeks.  Will UCLA fans bother taking the 60 minute flight north to San Fran?  Will Illini fans even bother watching this on TV?  Illini 28 - Bruines 24. 

Chick-Fil-A Bowl - Virginia v. Auburn - Chick-Fil-A sponsors bowl games... and the anti-gay movement.  So make sure you Eat More Chickin'... and hate on gays! Life after Newton has not been kind to Auburn.  The Tigers passing game is ranked 106th in the nation and their D is 80th in points against.  The Tigers have also suspended top RB Michael Dwyer for a violation of team rules.  Rumor is he may transfer, so who knows what he did.  What does a player in the SEC have to do to get kicked off the team?  I mean seriously, they don't have to go to class, they get extra benefits, hell they even get in fights outside of bars and stomp people (Ahem, Jordan Jefferson at LSU) and stay on the team. Cam Newton was kicked out of Florida for stealing laptops, so I guess that's the bar. Virginia has an average offense and a solid D.  Mike London is a good coach who has been recruiting very well for the Cavs. Will the defending champs fall all the way to 7-6?  Will they be able to find a QB to buy for next season?  Cavaliers 23-17. 

Happy Holidays everyone!! 

Championship Week Predictions

I hope everyone had a happy & pie filled thanksgiving. 

My pie to person ratio was around 8:4, but we also had some cannolis, ice cream and smidgens.  What's a smidgen?  Only the most delicious combination of peanut butter and chocolate ever. 

The final week before the bowl games is upon us.  Why the hell does football season always have to go bye so fast?  Let's take a look at the blur that was the regular season...

Ranked to Spanked -A few teams fit into this category of teams ranked in the top 25 to start the season that are nowhere near that as we enter December. 

OSU - 6-6 Ohio State got kicked while they were down by losing to Michigan for the first time in 7 years and ended their season on a 3 game losing streak.  Life after Tressell has not been kind in Columbus, however, they have immediate help on the way.  More on that next week. 

Miss St - The Mississippi State Bulldogs also finished 6-6 after starting the season ranked.  To be fair, MSU plays in the SEC West, and apparently Starkville is not exactly the most popular destination in the SEC from what I've heard. Will Dan Mullen even be there next year?  More on that next week. 

Florida Gators - The Gators were looking to bounce back to being national title contenders under new HC Will Muschamp, and got off to a hot start at 4-0, then lost their next 4, all to ranked teams.  Florida's offense almost makes Penn State's offense look good.  The Gators only won two games after their hot start, and should have lost to Vandy and were losing big to Furman before pouring it on.  Charlie Weiss's schematic offensive advantage was squandered by his gigantic weight disadvantage. If they ever do a celebrity Biggest Loser, Fatty Weiss, Mark Mangino, Rex Ryan and Andy Reid will all be in contention, but clearly the scale would tip towards Charlie. 

Texas A&M - So A&M is so angry that the LHN will give Texas more money the rest of the Big XII they took their pigskin and went to the SEC.... and then went 6-6 and fired their HC?  So now not only are they joining the SEC, but also searching for a new HC and basically a new identity since they completely shit the bed this year, including losing to their bitter rival Texas in what could be their last game for a long time. 

FSU - The Seminoles were the hottest "it" team in the nation during September.  Talk of a return to the glory days under Bowden were running rampant throughout Tallahassee.  Then the 'Noles went on a 3 game losing streak and finished 8-4.  Not exactly a return to glory for Jimbo Fisher, but not that bad either. The 'Noles do have what will most likely be the #1 recruiting class in the nation coming in next year.

Mizzou - the Tigers played tough all season, but couldn't quite put it all together until a 3 game winning streak to close the season.  Like A&M, they are SEC bound next year.  Unlike A&M, they beat the Longhorns in their final meeting before leaving the Big XII.  Will anyone outside of Lawrence or Colombia miss the Border War rivalry?  Was anyone aware of it before?

Who? to WOO HOO! - teams that started the year outside the top 25 and ended surprising everyone...

Houston - 6 year veteran Case Keenum is in his final year of his contract with the Houston Cougars and will be entering free agency next year.  Case has the worst agent ever, b/c he's spent those 6 years with the Houston Cougars of Confrence USA and not the Houston Texans. He also now owns just about every relevant NCAA passing record.  Although with Shaub & Leinart's injuries, Case is far and away the best QB in Houston right now.  Actually that would be true even if Leinart was not injured.  If Houston can close out Southern Miss in the Conference USA championship game and finish 13-0, the Cougars will be BCS bound.  Could they be the next Boise State?  More like is that their coach Kevin Sumlin will bolt for one of the numerous BCS conference positions currently open. 

Baylor - this team may not even be above .500 if not for RGIII.  The kid is just that damn good.  If the Bears even had a semblance of a decent defense, they may be a top 5 team. 

Southern Miss - Brett Favre U will play their first ranked team this weekend when they take on Houston.  Despite a cupcake schedule, the Golden Eagles still managed to lose to Marshall and UAB.  Larry Fedora's name has been tossed around as a possible candidate for a BCS program.  If he can take down Case & the Cougars, he might get his shot. 

Michigan - Did ANYONE expect Hoke to go 10-2 in his first season?  What he's done for Michigan's D with essentially the same players Rich Rod had is nothing short of a miracle.  D-Rob is hands down one of the most exciting players in college football.  If he ever figures out how to become a consistent passing threat, I'm not sure there is a defense that can stop him.

Clemson - The Tigers started 8-0 before dropping 3 of their last 4.  Normally Clemson would have dropped a game early on, so it's impressive they lasted 2 months without blowing it.  The find themselves in the ACC championship against Va Tech with a chance to make it to a BCS bowl that nobody will watch b/c the ACC always plays a Non-auto qualifier or a Big East team.  

Kansas State - The Wildcat started ugly with a 10-7 win over FCS opponent Eastern Kentucky, a team comprised mostly of cousins and only 5 players with all their teeth. And if not for having to play teams from Oklahoma, they Wildcats would be undefeated this year.  It's amazing that this team is anywhere near the top 25, and yet somehow is on the doorstep of finishing in the top 10 if they can beat the Iowa State Cyclones and win their bowl game.

Penn State - Back in August I said I expected this team to go 8-4, but wouldn't have been surprised by 7-5.  Well, I'm ecstatic with 9-3!  This offense has been anemic at best all year.  I'm not sure Matt McGloin would start for any other team in the top 25.  And despite what may be the biggest scandal in college football history, this team remained focused and played tough.  Even after getting blown out at Wisconsin, this team still over achieved this year.  It's sad that for some reason everyone wants to blame the current players for the scandal when they had absolutely nothing to do with any of it, because this team has a ton of heart and has carried themselves with tremendous character in the face of all the venom the media has spewed at them.  This is not the most talented PSU team ever, but I am most definitely proud of this team this year. 

Conference Championship Predictions:

UCLA @ #9 Oregon - UCLA gets to play another day due to USC being banned from post season play by the NCAA for cheating.  And as a reward for making it to the Pac 12 Championship game, UCLA fired their coach.  UCLA has also crossed Chris Petersen off their HC search list.  AKA, Chris Petersen said "No thanks, I'd rather stay in Boise, Idaho than coach in Westwood, CA."  Ouch.  That would be like a player asking to stay with the Wilkes Barre/Scranton Yankees instead of getting called up to the Bronx.  This game is happening right now and Oregon is rolling.  The Ducks will probably end up putting up 60+ points, but the Bruins are playing tough, there's just way too much talent in Eugene for the Bruins to handle. 

#24 Southern Miss @ #6 Cougars - As stated above, Southern Miss has not beat a ranked team all year and lost to two pretty bad teams.  The Cougars have their all world QB dropping bombs all over the field in his assault on the NCAA record books.  This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but I have a feeling Southern Miss wins this one.  45-42 Golden Eagles.

#14 Georgia v. #1 LSU - LSU has taken on and beaten all comers this year.  Their schedule has been as hard as any contenders as I can remember.  Georgia has bounced back nicely after a bad start.  Can the Bulldogs pull off a miracle?  Doubtful.  27-10 LSU.

#10 Sooners @ #3 Cowboys - Bedlam is the de-facto Big XII championship game is being held in Stillwater this year.  The Cowboys can get over the BCS hump and possibly get into the BCS championship game if they win and get help from the Bulldogs.  Even if the Bulldogs do win, the media & computers seem to want an LSU v. 'Bama rematch.  Frankly, I hate rematches.  'Bama had their shot and couldn't win at home.  They deserve a BCS game, but didn't even win their division or their conference.  Someone else should get their shot, and LSU shouldn't have to beat someone they already beat again.  I'd love to see the Cowboys high flying offense against LSU's shut down D.  All of this is pure conjecture b/c the Sooners are no pushovers.  They still want to get to the BCS and have a great shot at doing so.  They lost their starting RB and one of the best WR's in college football to injury, but they still have Landry Jones at QB, which gives them a shot.  This one will be a shootout.  35-31 Cowboys.

#15 Badgers v. #13 Spartans - Sparty seems to think the Big Ten wants the Badgers to head to their second straight Rose Bowl.  If last week's game against PSU is any indication, the Badgers are allowed to hold without getting penalized.  PSU would not have won regardless, but the Badgers holding was egregious.  If they are allowed to hold like that again, or if Kirk Cousins throws the ball into the dirt after a false start and gets a flag for unsportsmanlike conduct like McGloin got last week, then the Spartans have no shot.  Cousins is also WAY better than McGloin and should be able to move the ball against the Badgers secondary.  Russell Wilson is smart, athletic, and accurate with the ball.  He knows where he's going to throw and can do so with pinpoint accuracy.  And as PSU learned last week, he's tough to bring down.  Combine him with Ball's downhill running style and the Badgers are tough to stop, but away from Camp Randall, they seem to not be as tough.  31-28 Badgers.

#5 Va Tech v. #20 Clemson - Frank Beamer is now the longest tenured active coach in FBS.  He still has zero national championships.  Clemson is back to being Clemson after starting 8-0.  If this were the ACC basketball championship game I'd be interested in watching.  36-31 Hokies.

UConn @ Cincy - Cincy can claim a share of the Big East championship with a win.  Who gets the BCS automatic bid?  Who cares.  It's the Big East and no one watches whatever BCS game they are in any way.  Cincy 47-17. 

Upset of the week:

#22 Texas @ #17 Baylor - even though Texas is ranked lower, it would still feel like an upset if Baylor won.  43-24 Bears.

Week 12 Predictions

So.... by  now everyone has heard about the scandal.  I'm in disbelief as well. Why would Kim arrange a marriage just for her TV show?  Why would her soon to be Ex Kris Humphries blow the lid off of it by saying it was all a sham?  And if it was an arranged marriage for a show, why was Kris Humphries the best NBA player she could get?  Wasn't she dating Reggie Bush? And then she goes to the hardwood, and can only get Kris Humphries?  Back in the day, Shawn Kemp would've volunteered for this gig. If she had just waited a year, she could've had her pick of unemployed NBA players. Does Ray Lewis think the crime rate will rise during the NBA lockout?

So this is what it's come too.  I've been reduced to talking about the Kardashian's. Ugh.

If I sink any lower, Dante will need to add more levels to his Inferno. 

Fortunately, there is some other news in college football this week! No, seriously, there is. 

Now that the conference carousel has slowed down, it's time for the coaching carousel to start up:

Gone, Baby, Gone: The yearly round of musical coaching chairs has started early this year.  Houston Nutt is out at Ole Miss. Bob Toledo is a goner at Tulane. Howard Schnellenberger is retiring from Florida Atlantic. Fickell is not getting a full time gig at OSU.  That job is going to Urban Meyer in what is widely considered the worst kept secret in college football. 

And at Penn State, they are making preparations to become the new Yucca Mountain.  Japanese scientists from Fukajima will most likely be part of the next coaching staff.  Citizens of Chernobyl .  The residents of Harrisburg have been advised to remain in doors when the wind is blowing from north to south.  Al Jazeera has been running reports about a dirty bomb going off in State College. And based on the media reports, most people would support the Al Jazeera report. The way PSU has handled this scandal thus far, they may as well hire Casey Anthony as the new AD and Conrad Murray as team doctor.  I was trying to work in Sheen & Lohan too, but I'm not that witty. 

It's Getting Hot in Here: Rick Nueheisal's seat is nice & toasty at UCLA.  Ron Zook always seems to be on the hot seat approximately 5 years after he is hired.  His timing is impeccable. It's a new regime in Gainesville, but Muschamp & Weiss are already feeling the heat & humidity of Florida.  Dennis Erickson doesn't have to deal with the humidity, but that dry desert heat is certainly getting warmer.  And last but not least, Mike Sherman may not last another 8 seconds on the A&M bull. 

And now.... on to Week 12:

#1 LSU @ Ole Miss - The Rebels rebelled and ousted Nutt from their confederacy.  The Tigers continue to roll towards a rematch against 'Bama in the national title game.  LSU still must beat #6 Arkansas next week and then win the SEC championship game, so their inclusion in the SEC National Title Game is not a given. This week is just a tune up.  35 - 10 Tigers.

#2 Cowboys @ Cyclones - This game is being played as I type.  The 'Boys were up 49-0 at the HALF last week against Tx Tech.  They cruised to a 66-6 win.  This week they are only up 17-7 at the half.  Clearly the 'Boys unloaded their six shooters on the Red Raiders last week.  They are far from firing blanks though.  Next week brings the Sooners to town, so it's very possible they are looking ahead.  The Cyclones are playing much better than anyone anticipated this year, but, they play in Iowa, so nobody has really noticed.  I can see the Cyclones ruining the Cowboys party.  34-31 ISU! 

GA Southern @ #3 'Bama - GA Southern, the baby program in college football, is 9-1.  Their only loss?  That pesky Appalachian State team.  'Bama is also 9-1, their only loss to LSU.  So technically this is a battle of two 9-1 teams.  But realistically, this one will get uglier than a Kardashian without makeup.  56 - 0 Roll Tide.

USC @ #4 Oregon - Oregon is the other team who's only loss has been to #1 LSU.  The Ducks kept their Pac 12 title hopes alive last week by beating previously unbeaten Stanford.  That status of USC's star WR Robert Woods is up in the air this week. Woods is suffering from a sprained ankle & separated shoulder.  This game is going to be a good one in Eugene.  Ducks 41-Trojans 35 in OT. 

#5 OU @ #22 Baylor - The Bears return to the Top 25 after escaping Kansas by 1 point in OT last week.  The Sooners have been rolling since losing to Tx Tech.  RGIII will make this game interesting.  The Sooners are also playing without their starting RB Whaley and All American WR Broyles.  This one will be a shoot out.  37-34 Sooners.

Bulldogs @ #6 Arkansas - The Bulldogs played tought against 'Bama last week losing 24-7.  The Razorbacks only loss this year was to 'Bama and they've been fairly consistent since.  I can see this one being a close one right to the end.  Razorbacks 31 - 28.

#7 Clemson @ NC State - The Tigers got back into the win column after proving me right against GA Tech a few weeks ago.  NC State is ... I don't know, I haven't watched them all year.  I still say the Tigers are over rated though.  31-24 Clemson. 

Tar Heels @ #8 Va Tech - Va Tech pulled this one out 24-21 on Thursday night.

Cal @ #9 Stanford - Rivalry alert!! Everyone knows the highlight of one of the most famous bands in all of college football.  Did you know they've played this game every year since and nobody outside of NoCal has cared?  How good of a coach must Jim Harbaugh be?  He took Stanford from a great academic school with a football team, to a great academic school with a great football team.  Notre Dame must be so envious. And now, he has the moribund 49er's sitting at 8-1 in the NFC!  He's made Alex Smith look like a quality NFL QB.  The guy is nothing short of amazing.  As for Cal, I should add Tedford's name to the hot seat list.  Andrew Luck looks like he's heading to Indianapolis next year.  49-17 Stanford.

#10 Boise @ SDSU - Boise is off the BCS bubble.  After their loss to TCU last week, Boise has next to no shot at the BCS now.  Will that cause Boise to join the Big East in order to secure that auto bid?  Did anyone think 10 years ago we'd ever be talking about Boise State as a national title contender?  It's amazing what one game can do for a program.  That Boise v. OU game is still an all time classic. Boise rebounds with a win against Brady Hoke's former team.  41-17.

SMU @ #11 Houston - A battle of spread teams!  Kevin Sumlin has become a hot name on the coaching carousel this year.  With the graduation of Case Keenum this year, Sumlin will never be hotter coaching prospect than he is now, and may not ever find another Case Keenum.  I expect him to jump at a BCS job sometime during the off season.  Houston still has an outside chance at a BCS spot, just like Charlie Weiss has a shot at winning the Boston Marathon. 

The Citadel @ #12 USCe - Scandal ridden Citadel (I bet you didn't know they had their own child abuse scandal this week did you!?) take on the Gamecocks. The Citadel coverup may mean the death penalty for their program.  Just kidding!  They'd need to have a legendary coach and big time program for people to be calling for that kind of punishment. The Ole' Ball Coach has somehow held this team together after losing it's starting QB & RB this year. 56-6 Gamecocks.

#13 K State @ #22 K-State - K State won a thriller in 4 OT's against A&M last week, ending their two game losing streak.  The 'Horns offense scored 5 points last week.  That's tough to do.  Their offense is struggling mightily this year.  Could Mack Brown's seat be getting a little warm in Austin?  I have a feeling this may be a blowout in little Manhattan.  K-State 34 - 'Horns 21.

Kentucky @ #14 Georgia - The Dawgs are still in the hunt for a spot in the SEC title game.  Kentucky is happy that it's basketball season.  27-13 Dawgs.

Hoosiers @ #15 Sparty - Sparty has two very winnable games left and will wrap up a spot in the inaugural Big Ten Championship game. The Hoosiers are happy it's.... only 5 weeks until Christmas break?  Sparty 45-17.

#16 Huskers @ #18 Wolverines - the Huskers held off a PSU rally last week to win an ugly game in Happy Valley 17-14.  The Wolverines disposed of the Fightin' Zookers fairly easily last week.  This is going to be a battle of which QB likes to run more.  Martinez may have the worst mechanics of anyone this side of Tebow.  Denard Robinson is the ultimate Wildcat QB, but as a friend pointed out to me this week, a Wildcat QB is a change of pace QB, and hence, by definition, there can never be a starting QB that is a Wildcat QB.  Touche!  So I will now refer to him as a Wolverine QB.  Does that work?  The Huskers run that annoying read option that requires discipline on D to defend.  This one will come down to which team has the ball last.  44-37 Wolverines.

#17 Badgers @ Illinois - The Illini have gone from 6-0 to 6-4.  That will be 6-5 after this weekend.  The Badgers just have too much on offense for the Illini.  45-24 Badgers.

Colorado State @ # 19 Horned Frogs - CO State is the best college football program in the state of Colorado.  There, I said it.  What are you going to do about it Buffaloes?  TCU ruined Boise's BCS hopes, and they get to move into a real BCS league next year too!  The Frogs continue their wining ways.  37-14 Horned Frogs.

#20 Southern Miss @ UAB - Southern Miss lost to UAB 34-31 on Thursday night. Playing at UAB is akin to a full contact practice, so you'll have to forgive them if they weren't aware the game actually counts.  

#21 Penn State @ Buckeyes - So it looks like Urban Meyer is headed to Columbus and the NCAA is going to give them a slap on the wrist. Just 3 weeks ago, the Buckeyes were the program in turmoil.  Amazing how quickly things can change in the landscape of college football. PSU still has no offense.  24-3 Buckeyes.

Samford @ #24 Auburn - That's SAMford, not STANford at Auburn this week.  Rumor is Auburn is looking at some staff changes this off season, just one short year after winning a national title.  Their OC Gus Malzahn is a hot head coaching candidate and will get his shot to run his own program at some point.  37-10 Roll Tigers!  (Can you still be legally assaulted in 'Bama for saying that?)

Virginia @ #25 FSU - The 'Noles were the darling team back in September and make another appearance in the top 25.  The Cavs are 7-3 under coach Mike London who is certainly making a name for himself.  I think the Cavs win a close one in Tallahassee 26-23.

Upset of the week:

Boston College @ Notre Dame - I forgot that Spaziano is most like done at BC after this year.  The Irish will someday recapture their former glory, and sadly, I know exactly how they feel.  33-30 Boston College. 

Week 11 Predictions

It's with a very heavy heart I write the predictions for this week.  The scandal that has engulfed my beloved University is disturbing to say the least.  I'm as appalled by the acts of that deviant monster as all of you.  I too want to know who knew what & when, and why nothing was done earlier to stop him from preying on innocent children. The Penn State community wants a full investigation to find out what went wrong and to make sure nothing like this can ever happen again, anywhere.  This is not a football issue, it's an issue of humanity. 

There is allot of misinformation being reported as fact in the media right now.  The idiot students that rioted were protesting the firing of Joe, not supporting Jerry Sandusky in any way.  Jerry Sandusky has not been on PSU's staff for 12 years.  Why he was still allowed on campus or to run his charity is one of the questions I want to know just as much as you do. 

Joe & Jerry were not "pals" as has been reported.  They did not even like each other.  When they had their falling out is not entirely clear.  I have no idea what Joe knew or when, or any other coach for that matter.  The only facts I know are what is reported in the grand jury testimony that has been released.  I don't know what happened with the investigation in 1998.  I don't know what happened to the Attorney General Ray Gricar who was the AG when the allegations were alleged. He disappeared without a trace in 2005. 

I don't know why McQueary didn't do anything when he witnessed the sexual assault in the shower in 2002.  I don't know why nobody went to the police. I don't know why McQueary is still on staff.  My only thought is his side of the story has not been told and there is more information that we do not know yet.

I have no idea if the rumors surrounding the Second Mile are true or not.  I do know that the "reporter" that broke the story is a die hard anti-Penn Stater.  The other distortion circulating in the media is that it was Penn State donors that were involved with the scheme. That is not accurate.  The actual story involved Second Mile donors.  The Second Mile is not affiliated with PSU.  Unfortunately, it's headquarters are in State College and it was founded by that monster that is the cause of all of this.  Because of this, many prominent PSU alumni as well as many prominent college football coaches and players are on it's Board.  It's guilt by association, but it really doesn't matter.  The real tragedy is that there's a possibility of many innocent children being harmed by a charity that was supposed to help them.  Because of that, I pray to god that the rumors are not true.

As a PSU alum, I can assure you that those people do not represent our University.  Anyone that new about that sick monster & did nothing should be excommunicated from Penn State and  immediately  tried in a court of law if they broke the law. The University is having a candle light vigil tonight to pray for the victims. 

Keep in mind, our players have done nothing wrong.  The alumni, fans, & students will pack the stadium tomorrow and cheer for outr team.  Do not mistake our love of our University & support of our team as in any way supporting the despicable monster Sandusky or anyone that contributed to covering up his horrible crimes. 

As far as JoePa, We are very conflicted.  We can't help but wonder why he did not do more to stop Sandusky.  But we also realize how much good he's done for the University in his 60+ years in Happy Valley.  I don't expect anyone outside the Penn State family to understand our conflict. What many consider a black & white issue is a gray area for some Penn Staters.  I'm not saying that is right or wrong, I'm just saying there are some that are conflicted.  There will be many former players and alumni supporting Joe this weekend.  They are not supporting Joe's failure to stop Sandusky, they are supporting what Joe has meant to them and so many others in his 46 years as head coach.  The media will portray this in the worst possible light and sensationalize everything this weekend, so please keep in mind my statements above.  Also, I will be in Happy Valley this weekend, so if anyone has any questions about what is actually happening I'll be happy to answer your questions to the best of my knowledge.

All I ask that you not judge Penn State by the actions of a few, however morally reprehensible their actions.  And most importantly, my fellow Penn Stater's and I pray for the victims to get the justice they deserve. 

That said... there is some football to be played this week!

How about that snooze fest in 'Bama last week?  9-6 in OT!  Ugh.  Reminds me of that 13-6 borefest that PSU won in Columbus in 2008.  All defense?  No touchdowns?  I thought these teams had the best players in the nation!  You know what, my bad... I forgot this was an SEC game.  That changes everything.

How about that GAME OF THE CENTURY in 'Bama last week!  What an incredible show of defense.  Even with all those incredible playmakers and SEC speed, the D's stepped up HUGE and ddin't allow any TD's.  I look forward to this rematch in the BCS National Championship game.  

On to the games.....

Top 25 action...

W Kentucky @ #1 LSU - Do the Tigers have a let down this week?  Is it even possible to have such a drastic let down that you go from winning at 'Bama to losing to the Hilltoppers at home?  The Tigers would win this game even if they forfeited it.  60-7 LSU.

#2 Okie State @ Tx Tech - Okie State is for real.  Their offense is dominating.  Weedon & Blackmon are one of the best QB/WR duos in the country.  The Cowboys have two more winnable game until their season ending matchup against the Sooners.  Tech is a schizophrenic team.  They already took down the Sooners when they were in the top 5, could they pull off another upset against the #2 team in the country?  This game will be interesting.  I'm calling this for my upset of the week.  Red Raiders 34 - Fightin' T. Boones 31.

#3 'Bama @ Miss State - the Tide did not roll at home last week.  They were held out of the end zone, and missed what seems liked a ton of FG's.  How much do the players hate putting in all that hard work, only to be done in by the damn kicker?  How much does Saban hate getting all those top recruits, and having his idiot kicker miss FG's?  The Bulldogs have fallen back this year after a pretty good last  year.  'Bama will take out their frustrations on the Bulldogs this week.  And may take it out on their Kicker if he misses more FG's.  34 - 13 Tide.

#7 Oregon @ #4 Stanford - The Ducks only loss is to #1 LSU.  Their offense has been rolling again despite LaMichael James missing some games.  Stanford has not lost a game yet, but came close at USC.  Luck has been Heismanesque all season.  This is going to be a huge test for him. If Stanford wins, they clinch a spot in the inaugural Pac 12 Championship.  The winner of this game will most likely also head to the Rose Bowl.  This will be a fun one game to watch in Palo Alto. Oregon gets their Ducks in a row and out guns the Cardinal.  37-34 Ducks.  

TCU @ #5 Boise State - Big XII member TCU heads north to the smurf turf for the Broncos toughest game since beating Georgia to start the season.  The Horned Frogs are not the same team as they were last year, but they are still solid.  Both teams are undefeated in the Mountain West, but only Boise can make it to a BCS game.  TCU has two losses.  If Boise wants to make it into the big time, they must go undefeated.  This is essentially a playoff game.  Win, and Boise is poised to get a huge payday and a BCS bowl.  Lose, and they may end up playing in a bowl that nobody knows exists on a weekday between Christmas and New Years. You think the Pac 12 wishes they took Boise instead of Colorado?  Broncos win at home 27-17 to keep their BCS hopes alive.

Volunteers @ #8 Arkansas - The Razorbacks keep on rolling along under the radar.  In a league where a regular season game is billed as "the game of the century", the 'Backs need to make some major noise to get noticed.  The Volunteers just can't seem to get it together this season.  42-13 Arkansas.

Wake Forest @ #9 Clemson - FINALLY Clemson restored my faith in them!  I knew they'd blow a game they were favored in, but losing to Ga Tech is a respectable loss.  Wake has lost 2 in a row has no rushing attack whatsoever.  The Tigers will get back on track against the Demon Deacons this week.  45-21 Clemson.

#10 Va Tech @ #21 Ga Tech - the battle of the Techs happened last night. I would've predicted this 41-31 Hokies. The Hokies won 37-26.

#11 Cougars @ Tulane - Keenum continued his assault on the NCAA passing record books.  I would've predicted this game 73-17.  Somehow, I was 100% correct, Houston won 73-17!

#19 Huskers @ #12 Penn State - PSU controls it's own destiny in the Big Ten, but this game begins a mine field of a 3 game stretch.  After this, it's @ Columbus and then @ Madison.  I want to believe, but I can't see this offense putting up enough points to win on the road.  This team has no margin of error. If PSU's D struggles, the Nittany Lions lose.  The Huskers looked lost against a plucky Northwestern team that spread them out and made them defend in space.  PSU does the exact opposite of that.  This will be another ugly, ugly game.  Tune in at your own risk.  13-10 Nittany Lions.

Florida @ #13 Gamecocks - Florida got back in the win column last week against a very tough Vandy team.  For now, Muschamp & Weiss are off the hot seat.  The Gamecocks produced 28 points without Marcus Lattimore against the Razorbacks last week, but their D gave up 41.  This will be a matchup of two struggling offenses.  25-17 Gamecocks.

Texas A&M @ #14 K State - Well, K State has gone from 7-0 to 7-2 in a matter of 2 weeks. They are now the worst 2 loss team in the country.  A&M is not much better.  If this game was in College Station, I'd give it to A&M, but in Manhattan, KS, I think the Wildcats Offense will be too much for the Aggies.  35-24 K-State.

#20 Auburn @ #15 Bulldogs - Mark Richt's seat has cooled a bit since opening 0-2.  The Tigers are still happy to have their national title last year and are sitting at 6-3 this year.  If the Bulldogs can win this one, they have the inside track to winning the SEC East and playing in the SEC Championship.  How pissed would the media be if the Bulldogs knocked off LSU and they ended up having to put a one team not in the SEC in the BCS Championship?  I'd wager they would still vote LSU #2 and 'Bama #1 even if there is another undefeated team in another conference.  And as far as Boise, going undefeated is probably not even enough to get them into the BCS championship.  Bulldogs 27-24. 

#16 Longhorns @ Mizzou - Finally Mizzou has made it official they are heading to the SEC.  Mizzou's offense is underrated, but they seem to have problems stringing together wins.  The Horns are one dimensional.  Their passing game is non existent, their rushing game is solid.  Since Mizzou seems to flip flop between wins and losses, and they lost to Baylor last week, I'm predicting the Tigers pull off the upset at home against the Horns this week.  31-24 Mizzou.

#17 Sparty @ Iowa - Sparty got back on track against a somehow much improved Minnesota squad last week.  They are still leading the Legends division.  Iowa pulled off minor miracle last week against Michigan.  After losing to the Golden Gophers the previous week, they shut down Denard Robinson and beat the Wolverines last week.  I have to admit, I did not see that one coming.  I do see this one coming though and am predicting Iowa owns the state of Michigan this year.  24-21 Hawkeyes.

#18 Badgers @ Golden Gophers - the Gophers are playing much better football right now.  Which is like saying a homeless guy found a really nice refrigerator box.  A few weeks ago I would've said the Badgers put up 70, but since the Gophers are playing better, I'm saying they only give up 45.  Badgers roll 45-17.

UCF @ #22 Southern Miss - There was a huge scandal in Central Florida this week!  No really, there was.  Their AD resigned.  I know, nobody cares.  I don't blame you.  Southern Miss keeps creeping up in the rankings.  Brett Favre U 35-14. 

Mountaineers @ #23 Cincy - I have to admit I had no idea the Bearcats were ranked until I looked at this week's schedule today.  Has WVU already checked out of the Big East?  They have not played well the past few weeks.  WVU gets back to burning some couches this week 38-28.

#24 Michigan @ Illinois - the Illini offense is struggling mightily right now.  The Wolverines laid an egg against the Hawkeyes last week.  This is a bounce back game for both squads.  I don't see Denard getting shut down two weeks in a row.  The Wolverines hold off the Fightin' Zookers 24-21.

#25 Baylor @ Kansas - RGIII has his team back in the rankings!  The Jayhawks are only days away from basketball season!!  48-13 Bears.

Big Ten action -

Buckeyes @ Purdue - the Buckeyes got their slap on a wrist this week.  Did anyone think the game in Columbus next week would pit Luke Fickell against Tom Bradley?  Wow.  PSU wishes it had the Buckeyes problems right now.  How quickly things change.  Buckeyes shut down the Boilers 29-3.

Rice @ Northwestern - Rice already beat one big ten team this year, can they make it two?  If Persa is healthy, I don't see it happening.  The Wildcats get back to .500 this week.  34-14.

One last thing - On this Veteran's day let's not forget the men & women of our armed forces that sacrifice for us and the good of the country to make us safe! There are some that will read this email, and to them, I want to personally thank you for your service. I would especially like to thank my brother-in-law U.S. Navy Lt. T.J. Browning, who is currently on deployment on an aircraft carrier somewhere in the middle east.  TJ had to leave his now 6 month old daughter Claire and wonderful wife Kara at home to go serve his duty to our country.  Thankfully he will be back home soon. We all miss you and will see you soon! Stay safe brother and thank you for your service! 

Week 10 Predictions

This weekend is Christmas in the SEC!!!  #1 vs. #2!!!!  SEC RULES!!!  O'DOYLE RULES!!!!!  O'DOYLE RULES!!!!!! 

Halloween is finally over, and now women must wait another year to have an excuse to dress as a slutty "fill in the blank". Damn. As for myself, my mullet wig, cowboy hat, & bandana are in storage already.  Yes, Brett Michaels attended my Halloween party.  Although a good number of people thought it was Vince Neil.  I even had one guy reference the car accident in LA that killed Razzle from Hanoi Rocks.  Behind the Music is officially educational television. 

I also learned this year that the wealthier the neighborhood, the bigger the candy.  Our friend's son scored big, literally, with full size candy bars!  Does that mean that the top 1% give out King size candy bars?  Or is there something even bigger that the bottom 99% don't even know about? 

The NCAA has proposed paying athletes 2K for their services on top of their scholarships.  Most of the conferences oppose this, but the SEC actually laughed.  Mike Silve was allegedly quoted as saying, "Our athletes are worth much more thank 2K.  For instance, the going rate for a top QB is 150K.  Today, Tim Tebow would be worth well over 200K. Besides, we already pay most of our athletes.  What the NCAA is proposing amounts to a pay cut in our conference."

In the Big Ten, Penn State miraculously controls it's own destiny.  Somehow, the Nittany Lions eaked out a 10-7 victory against the Fightin' Zookers last week to move to 8-1, 5-0 in conference. Yes, 10-7.  If you like defense, PSU is your team.  We actually have just as much chance of scoring on D as we do on Offense.  What's worse, they STILL played Rob Bolden, who looks as lost as Charlie Weiss at a salad bar.  It is actually easier to stay awake after taking 2 Lunesta than it is watching a Penn State game. 

The conference carousel is still in full swing.... There are some conspiracy theorists claiming ESPN is the driving force behind all of this realignment.  Mizzou. C'mon, shit or get off the pot.  Everyone knows you're going to the SEC.  They even accidentally announced it on the SEC website already.  So what's the hold up?  It's like telling your wife/fiance/girlfriend that you'll be the DD when you go out, but really, she knows and you know that you're getting drunk and she's driving home.  But I guess it's fun to pretend.  In the Zombie Big East.... they've now invited Boise St, SMU, Houston, UCF, Navy & Air Force.  Now if they'd just invite Army, Notre Dame would be clamoring to join!  Nothing says college football like the big rivalry game between Boise St & Central Florida to decide who goes to the BCS!  In the Big XII, Couch Burning U is suing to join their new conference next year.  The MWC is looking at taking some WAC schools if Boise bails.  Conference USA is making plans to replace the schools their losing, which begs the question... will the Sun Belt survive as a conference?

Despite what ESPN tells us, there are actually other games being played this weekend outside of Tuscaloosa.  So here we go....

#1 'Bama v. #2 LSU/#1 LSU v. #2 'Bama - It's on like Donkey Kong!!!!  Will the Mad Hatter like the taste of the Tide's grass? Per their deal, Saban will have Satan as an assistant coach for this game.There is no lack of talent on the field, especially on D.  LSU has two NFL prospects at CB, and 'Bama's D is loaded NFL caliber defenders.  On offense, LSU deploys a two QB system and somehow makes it work. 'Bama's AJ McCarron has not looked like a first year starter thus far, but having Trent Richardson behind you to hand off too certainly helps with that.  This game will come down to who makes the least amount of mistakes, and with 'Bama playing at home, I give them the edge.  27-24 Roll Tide.

#14 K State @ #3 Okie State - K State got destroyed by OU last week 58-17, enforcing my opinion that K State was the most overrated undefeated team.  This week, they are the most overrated 1 loss team.  The Cowboys are rolling.  63 - 17 Fightin' T. Boones.

#4 Stanford @ Beavers - Andrew Luck kept the Cardinal undefeated last week in the 3 OT shootout at the Coliseum.  Phil Sims called out Luck this week, saying he's not that impressed with the potential #1 overall pick. Which can only mean that Phil Sims has not watched a Stanford game all season.  Meanwhile, the Beavers stink.  47 - 24 Cardinal.

#5 Boise @ UNLV - Boise has another bye this week and will be spending it by scrimmaging UNLV in Vegas.  Do you think the Broncos will miss visiting the Strip when they have to fly to Storrs to play CT?  Boise rolls into their meeting with TCU undefeated.  50 - 7. 

A&M @ #6 Sooners - A&M's last year in the Big XII isn't going so well.  They are now 5-3 after losing to Mizzou in OT last week.  The Sooners lost their starting RB Whaley for the season last week.  Is it possible the Sooners will lose to two teams at home in the same year?  Not likely.  45 - 24 Sooners.

#9 USCe @ #7 Razorbacks - Without Marcus Lattimore, the Gamecocks offense has looked very PSU-like, scoring only 14 points the past two games.  Fortunately, their D has also looked very PSU-like as well.  The Razorbacks got lucky against a much improved Vandy squad last week.  Were the Razorbacks looking ahead to this game?  Possibly.  USCe just doesn't have the horses on O to hang in Fayetville.  38 - 17 Arkansas.

#8 Ducks @ U-Dub - The Ducks have been destroyin' fools since losing to LSU to start the year.  The Huskies are underrated, losing only to the Huskers & Stanford.  This will be a good game.  I expect the Ducks offense to outgun the Huskies.  45 - 29 Ducks.

Northwestern @ #10 Nebraska - The Almost Cats just can't seem to catch a break.  They almost win just about every game.  Persa is a dual threat, but he can't do it alone.  In Lincoln, Taylor Martinez has the worst mechanics this side of Tim Tebow.  Yet he somehow makes it work and they keep winning.  Like the rest of the Big Ten, their running game (10th in the nation) is WAY better than their passing game (106th). Burkhead is a steam roller.  He can't outrun you, so he'll run over you.  The Huskers roll over the Wildcats 41 - 31. 

#13 Houston @ UAB - the U of 'Bama B of T denied UAB $75 million in funds this week to build an on campus stadium, citing a lack of attendance, lack of football revenue, basically a lack of a decent football program.  It'd be like investing millions in European debt b/c you think your company should take on more risk.  Hey, maybe UAB can get John Corzine as their next coach!  There are two questions in this game.  1.  Will Case Keenum pass for more than 6 TD's? and 2.  Will anyone be there to see it if he does?  63 - 7 Cougars. 

#15 Wolverines @ Hawkeyes - The Hawkeyes lost to Minn-eh-sowtah last week.  Ouch.  It's a rough season in Iowa.  Unless the Wolverines play way down to the competition this week, there's no reason D-Rob shouldn't roll for 150 yds rushing and at least two TD's.  37 - 24 UM.

Golden Gophers @ #17 Sparty - Sparty's miracle high lasted all of 1 week.  After their dramatic hail mary against the Badgers, they put up only 3 points against the Huskers.  The Gophers are coming off their own dramatic win against the Hawkeyes last week.  This game will not be very dramatic for either team.  45-17 Sparty.

NM State @ #18 Bulldogs - Much to my surprise, the Bulldogs came out of the Swamp with a W last week.  The Dawgs are now on a 6 game winning street after starting the season 0-2.  The Aggies are the best team in the state of New Mexico.  Or at least I assume they are, since I know absolutely nothing about high school football in New Mexico.  39 - 3 Dawgs.

#19 ASU @ UCLA - So much for UCLA's resurgence while USC is on sanctions.  They're closer to firing their coach then they are to making the Rose Bowl.  Kind of ironic that all of their home games are played in the Rose Bowl, yet they never get a chance to play in the actual Rose Bowl.  The Sun Devils are still in the hunt to play in the actual Rose Bowl this year.  Sun Devils 35 - Bruins 13

Boilers @ #20 Badgers - My how the mighty have fallen.  The Badgers must have spent the entire week practicing how to knock down a hail mary pass.  This time OSU's true freshman QB victimized them by throwing on the run, across his body, for a game winning TD.  The Boilers got trounced in Ann Arbor last week.  Wisky will take out it's frustrations this week on the Boilers 45 - 17.

Tx Tech @ #21 Texas - The 'Horns only two losses have been to the Oklahoma schools this year.  Meanwhile, the Red Raiders got demolished by the Iowa State Cyclones last week!  ESPN better hope the 'Horns continue to win or their investment in the LHN will make Lehman Brothers look like a great buy.  24 - 17 'Horns.

Louisville @ #24 Couch Burning U - You think WVU is sad to give up their games against Rutgers & 'Cuse for games against TCU & Tx Tech?  How will the rest of the Big XII react when they land in Morgantown and are greeted by cousins with worse teeth than the British & burning couches lighting the runway?  You're not in Kansas anymore.  Hell, you're not even in the central time zone.  Louisville is looking forward to basketball season.  Mountaineers 31 - Louisville 24

#25 Southern Miss @ East Carolina - Southern Miss makes an appearance in the rankings!  I know little to nothing about the Golden Eagles.  I know less about the EC Pirates.  So let's say So Miss wins this one 42 - 35.

Big Ten Action:

Indiana @ Ohio State - the Buckeyes D is solid.  The Hoosiers D is not.  This one could be a shutout in Columbus.  31-0 Buckeyes.

Games of note:

Mizzou @ Baylor - Baylor started the year strong but their D has faded.  Meanwhile Mizzou has been playing better lately.  This one is going to be Tigers 41 - Bears 39.

Fightin' Irish @ Demon Deacons - The Irish sure love their cupcakes.  Maybe blowing out bad teams makes Brian Kelly feel better about himself.  35 - 10  Irish.

Upset of the week:

Vandy @ Florida - the Gators are on a 4 game skid. Not only are they losing, but their offense has been very PSU-esque.  They don't even have a Silas Redd to bail them out.  Vandy has been playing inspired football, even if they haven't been winning.  This could game could send Gator Nation into full melt down mode, and make Charlie Weiss's OC seat nice & toasty warm.  And no Charlie, nobody wants to see your Super Bowl ring, they want to see you direct TD drives.  28-27 Commodores. 

Week 9 Predictions

Wow!  What a weekend on the college grid iron!  Like Charlie Weiss at a buffet, I'm not sure where to begin. 

Let's kick off with The Miracle!! 

Tim Tebow brought the Broncos back from 15 down with 5 minutes left and won in OT against the Dolphins!!  I'd like to thank everyone that has joined Tebowology.  The worship of Tebow is growing rapidly and I didn't even have to find gold plates in the woods, make up a story about alien spaceships and volcanoes, or enlist celebrity endorsements to make it legit.  I look forward wide spread acceptance within 10 years and tax exempt status by April. 

Ok, now the REAL Miracle.... Sparty!!  How very un-Sparty like!!  Has a game ever ended on a instant replay hail mary?  Ever?  Has there ever been a hail mary that was soclose, even on instant replay it was a close call?  How pissed must Brett Biliema be?  His timeout is what allowed Sparty the chance to throw the hail mary.  So much for Russell Wilson's Heisman campaign.  The Big Ten is still wide open.  It will be an interesting November.

I'd like to point out that JoePa spearheaded the drive to get instant reply in the Big Ten.  (He got sick of getting screwed at Michigan).  I would also like to point out this is the last thing JoePa has spearheaded.  At halftime of the Northwestern game, JoePa met with Pat Fitzgerald's kids.  I'm not kidding.  While the team was trying to figure out how to stop Dan Persa, JoePa was busy entertaining the opposing coaches 3 sons.  You can't make this stuff up.  Those that argue that JoePa is nothing but a figurehead at PSU are insulting figureheads. They are also talking about an extension for the 84 year old Paterno.  Apparently JoePa is harder to overthrow than a middle east dictator. End rant here.

Meanwhile, in Norman, the Sooners forgot they had a game.  The Red Raiders led start to finish.  If not for a missed FG by the Sooners in the 4th quarter, this game would have went to OT.  Even then, the Sooners didn't deserve it.  They were outplayed all game. Unbelievably, Tommy Tuberville is now 5-5 against top 5 teams in his career.  How did Tech pull this one off?  By throwing the ball all over the campus before the Sooners knew what hit them. Thanks to the Sooners epic meltdown, ESPN already has a chubby over the LSU v. 'Bama matchup.  By the way, that game is 2 weeks away, there is an entire weekend of games to be played before this, yet it's STILL the lead story on ESPN.  The SEC & ESPN are in a more torrid love affair than Ashton & whatever 22 year old from San Diego he's hooking up with this week.  

The best stories of the week though are in the Pacific Northwest.  In Eugene, Cliff Harris got pulled over AGAIN.  This is the kid that got clocked doing over 100mph this summer with Oregon's starting QB in the passenger seat.  This time he didn't have his seat belt on, was allegedly driving on a suspended license and without insurance.  He's suspended indefinitely from the Ducks, but he may want to talk to Phil Knight about hiring a full time driver as well. 

If you ever wondered what would happen if you used a stun gun on a grizzly, here is your answer, sort of.  Stun guns used on Montana players

The Conference Carousel is still in full swing.... Mizzou is still unsure of what to do, and West Virginia is now awaiting an invite to the Big XII.  In the meantime, the Big East is like the guy trying to score at the bar at 1:45 AM.  They will literally take anyone as long as they can get someone to agree before the lights go on.  

On to the predictions...

Top 25 Action:

#1 LSU v. #2 'Bama - OMG!!!  SEC RULES!!!  WOO HOO!!  #1 v. #2!!!!!  Can we all just agree that even though this game is two weeks away, this is still the game of THIS week.  I believe ESPN Game Day will be in Tuscaloosa this weekend just to build the hype.  According to ESPN, the loser of this game has the inside track to the BCS Championship game over every other school not in the SEC. 

Baylor @ #3 T. Boone U - Could Okie State be the team to beat in the Big XII this year?  They rolled over Mizzou, and now have the inside track to win the Big XII.  Bedlam is going to be insane!  (but let's not get carried away, this is not the SEC.)  Sadly, RGIII's Hesiman campaign has ended.  He's still dynamic, and the Bears would probably not win more than 3 games without him, but the Bears were more like cubs giving up 55 to the Aggies last week.  Could the Cowboys score 70 this week?  It's possible.  Cowboys 60 - Bears 35. 

#4 Boise - the Broncos are on a bye this... they are also on a bye next week when they face UNLV.  Tune in Nov 12th when the Broncos lose to the Horned Frogs and the BCS breathes a sigh of relief not having to include those pesky non auto qualifiers this year.

#5 Clemson @ Ga Tech - The Tigers keep on proving me wrong.  They are bating me though, waiting for me to get on their band wagon before they blow it.  Well I'm not falling for it. The Jackets running, ball control offense can keep the dynamic Clemson offense on the sideline and Ga Tech pulls this one out....  34 - 30.

  #6 Stanford @ USC - the Trojans whooped up on the Irish in South Bend last week.  In fact, Matt Barkley went so far as to say the Irish quit on the game in the 4th!  As you know, I'm no fan of the Trojans, but that is awesome.  And you know what, he's right.  Why would you not use your TO's to try to get the ball back?  Anyone think Kelly might crack in the pressure cooker that is the Golden Domers?  It's not quite as easy as it was in Cincy, Central Michigan or Grand Valley State is it Mr. Kelly?  Andrew "Heisman" Luck and the Cardinal dropped 65 on the Huskies last week!  The Cardinal are for real.  Stanford 45 - Trojans 28.

Wazzu @ #7 Ducks - The Cougs just aren't very good.  The Ducks are.  55 - 10

#9 Sooners @ #8 K State - The Sooners will indeed realize they  have a game this week.  K State keeps on rolling.  They may be the worst undefeated team left in the country.  With 4 ranked teams in a row coming up, 7-0 may turn into 7-4 really fast.  It starts this week.  40 - 28 Sooners.

#10 Razorbacks @ Vandy - SEC!!  Vandy has been playing tough this year, but just doesn't have the horses to compete.  It's tough being the nerdy kids in a football conference.  Razorbacks 31 - Commodores 13.

#11 Sparty @ #14 Huskers - Hail Sparty Mary!  Will the high of a last second win carry over to Lincoln this week?  Will the Huskers get a contact high?  The Huskers got crushed by Wisky, Sparty beat the Badgers... and as we all know... the transitive property does NOT carry over in college football... 27-24 Huskers on a last second FG!!

#12 Hokies @ Duke - Snoozefest... this wouldn't even be a good game on the hardwood.  29 - 3 Hokies.

#13 Gamecocks @ Volunteers - one of the best RB's in the nation is done for the year.  Marcus Lattimore is out for the year with a knee injury.  In the past two weeks the Gamecocks have kicked their starting QB off the team, and lost their starting RB to injury.  That leaves... I have no idea what else the Gamecocks have.  Adios Ole Ball Coach.  Volunteers 21 - USCe 17.

#15 Badgers @ OSU - The Buckeyes are redefining the term one dimensional offense.  They are currently ranked 115th in passing yards per game, and 42nd in rushing.  They are making Penn State's offense look, I don't know, like it did in 1994?  The Badgers... oh Brett... how many "time out" taunts do you expect to hear in Columbus this week?  Will the Buckeyes complete more than 1 pass this week?  This game is going to be ugly, as in the Buckeyes D is going to shut down the Badgers... and this one won't come down to instant replay.  21 - 17 Buckeyes.

Mizzou @ #16 Texas A&M - Will the Tigers be the 3rd "Tigers" in the SEC next year?  At this point, not even Tebow knows what will happen with conference realignment. Did you know Rick Perry is an Aggie?  He also used to be a Democrat.  The Aggies also used to have a good football program.  My how times changes.  The Aggies are playing some decent ball as of late though.  That continues this week.  33-24 Aggies.

Rice @ #17 Houston - The Cougars are desperately trying to sneak into the BCS.  Case Keenum is throwing bombs and setting records.  Rice is.... a university named after a popular side dish?  Cougars 56 - Owls 10.

Purdue @ #18 Michigan - Speaking of Rice, the Boilers somehow lost to Rice this season.  Ouch.  All is not right in the state of Michigan this year.  Fortunately, since neither OSU nor Michigan appear to be the top team in the Big Ten this year, it's considered a down year. Therefore whatever Sparty accomplishes will be discounted.  Purdue is plucky.  They will play the Wolverines tough, but unless it's raining like a hurricane and Denard can't throw, the Wolverines will have no problem with this one.  What's that?  It's supposed to rain this Saturday?  Uh oh.  Michigan 24 - Boilers 17.

Fightin' Zooks @ #19 Nittany Lions - Word is JoePa will be handing out Halloween candy to kids in costume at half time.  I wonder if Zook has any kids that would like to meet a college football hall of fame coach during HALFTIME... OF A GAME.... IN WHICH HE IS SUPPOSEDLY COACHING!?  Seriously.   I can't even get mad anymore, it's ridiculous.  So it turns out the Illini are not that good.  I still fast forward through their highlights though.  24 - 21 Penn State - and Tom Bradley should get this win on his resume. 

Iowa State @ #20 Tx Tech - The Red Raiders pulled off a huge upset last week, and they will assuredly have a let down this week.  Fortunately the Cyclones are in Lubbock, which means the Red Raiders would have to have a Fukijima type melt down to lose this one.  36 - 24 Tech.

Tebow's Minor League Team @ #21 Sun Devils - The Buffs are bad.  But once The Tebow Effect happens, UC will be good again.  I'm looking forward to starting the first chapter of Tebowology on the UC campus soon.  The Sun Devils, are they any good?  They play on the west coast, so only west coasters seem to know.  They are certainly not as bad as the Buffs.  37 - 10 Sun Devils.

Florida @ #22 Bulldogs - the Dawgs are back in the rankings!  The Gators are not. If Tebow returns to Gainesville after leading the Broncos to multiple Super Bowl wins, will he turn water to wine at the frat parties?  The Gators are starting a true freshman at QB... remember what happened last time they did that!?  TEBOW!!! (yes, he split snaps with Chris Leak, I know.)  Not so much this time.  The Dawgs still aren't getting out of the swamp with a win.  33 - 28 Gators.

Ole Miss @ #23 Auburn - The Tigers got absolutely demolished by the Tigers last week in Baton Rouge.  Thankfully the Rebels are just what the doctor ordered for an easy win to get back on track.  Tigers 30 - Houston Nutt 10.

Jayhawks @ #24 Longhorns - apparently the LHN & ESPN made a billion dollar deal to the point where the powers that be at ESPN will not criticize Texas or their Network.  In other words, ESPN has a hug financial stake in a team they are supposedly reporting on impartially.  Right.  Just like ESPN doesn't favor the SEC while the Big Ten has a network that competes with them?  I look forward to years of ESPN hyping Texas & the SEC. And why would any school stay in the Big XII if they are not getting a cut of this deal from Texas?  Do Texas fans consider Colt McCoy to be their mini-Tebow?  Only a few more weeks until basketball season in Lawrence!!  'Horns 33 - Jayhawks 3.

#25 Couch Burning U @ Rutgers - WVU thought they were going to the Big XII this week.  The couches were already doused with lighter fluid, but now the matches can't be lit until Mizzou decides what to do.  Rutgers.... HA!  Mountaineers 42 - Scarlet Knights 20.

Big Ten Action:

Northwestern @ Indiana - Dan Persa is going to play this week with turf toe.  Persa was shredding PSU's D last week, and the Hoosiers D is nowhere close to PSU's.  Anyone see Seth Myers on the Northwestern sideline last week?  No?  Anyone see Seth Myers on SNL this season?  No? Anyone see Seth Myers at Kattan's bachelor party?  (yes!) Wildcats 45 - Hoosiers 17. 

Iowa @ Minnesota - The Golden Gophers extended Jerry Kill's contract this week.  Which is a nice way of saying... "We know you're starting at absolute rock bottom and there is not possible way we can get worse, so anything you can do would be greatly appreciated."  Iowa isn't very good this year either, but they aren't the Gophers.  30 - 12 Hawkeyes.

Upset of the Week:

Navy @ Notre Dame - The Midshipmen will run, run, run.. and then run some more.  Even in their option based run offense, they still have a more lethal passing game than Ohio State.  The Irish are reeling. Their starting QB got hurt last week.  Is it possible that Brian Kelly will turn so red this week, his head just pops?  Can we start calling him Coach Tomato Head?   The Midshipmen get another win in South Bend.  26 - 23.

I forgot to mention, Mark May is horrible, and the McRib is back baby!!!!! 

Week 8 Predictions

Week 8 is upon us!  I almost didn't get this written this week.  My intent was to do this last night, but my new Iphone came, so I was a little busy.  Seriously, the new Iphone is AWESOME!  Especially compared to the piece of junk Droid it's replacing.  If you haven't done so yet, I highly suggest you join the Iphone revolution.  Do it for Steve.

This season is going by faster than Lindsay Lohan attempting to do community service. We're more than halfway to another BCS controversy, but allot can happen in a week.  As I'm typing this, #15 Couch Burning U is losing to ACC member Syracuse.  Will that be the only upset this week?

Meanwhile, on the conference carousel, Mizzou has given permission to their Chancellor to move the school out of the Texas 12.  The most likely destination is the SEC, but at this point who knows.  The Big East has presumably invited everyone they can think of to join their auto bid conference, with no takers thus far.  In other words, the Big East is SO awful, teams would rather stay in a non automatic qualifying BCS conference than join the Big Least.  Ouch.  That's like being offered tickets to a bowl game, and finding out it's being played in Detroit. (It could be worse, I could've said East Lansing!)

On to the games....

Top 25 Action:

#20 Tigers @ #1 Tigers - Which tigers are better?  Why can't the geniuses in the SEC at least come up with different names for their schools?  Why would a guy let all of his lions, tigers & bears loose on an Ohio town?  Why does a man own all of said animals, plus cheetahs, monkeys, wolves, and I would just assume ocelots. Rest easy though, all of the animals are accounted for save for a monkey.  I don't want to alarm anyone, but isn't this how the Planet of the Apes started?  Down on the Bayou, LSU players can't help but pull a Stephen Garcia before they face Auburn. Is it really that difficult to not smoke the reefer in season?  Apparently so.  In Auburn, the NCAA has cleared them of any wrongdoing with Cam Newton's recruitment.  So there you have it, pay for play is OK!  Ron - keep the Tommy highlights coming!  It can only drive up his price when he's ready to play in college!  I see the Mad Hatter pulling something ridiculous out of his hat after some horrible clock management this week.  I'm going LSU 27 - Auburn 24 when LSU blocks a FG in the closing minutes and takes it back for a TD. 

Volunteers @ #2 'Bama - Tennessee is Volunteering (get it?  of course you do, sorry, that was bad) to get rolled by the Tide this week.  Nothing new here.  The Tide continue their dominance 37 - 23.  The Volunteers blame Kiffin for everything wrong with the program. 

Tx Tech @ #3 Sooners - Can the Sooners avoid a let down before Bedlam?  There is already talk of an undefeated Sooners team being left out of the BCS title game in favor of a 1 loss LSU or 'Bama.  Seriously.  Why don't we just let the SEC do their own thing and the rest of college football can have a playoff?  The SEC can just beat up on the Sun Belt and MAC every year and everyone else leaves the BCS and goes to a playoff.  Then the SEC can lay claim to a national title every year, while the rest of us get a playoff system we want to crown a national champion?  We can broadcast the title game on the LongHorn Network.  Sooners 47 - Tex Tech 21.

#4 T. Boone U @ Mizzou - could this be the year Okie State gets over the hump and into the BCS?  Or how about the title game even?  They could be this years Oregon, with a dynamic offense putting up ridiculous points, and a D just good enough to stop opponents from scoring just as much.  Mizzou is on the move, but only off the field.  Cowboys 56 - Mizzou 31.

Air Force @ #5 Boise - could this be a meeting of two future Big East teams?  Could the Big Least invite Hawaii too just to cover every single U.S. time zone?  Will Boise play anyone worth a crap in their own conference?  Will Lindsay Lohan show up for her court mandated community service?  The answers to all these questions... you know what, whatever.  Nobody cares.  Broncos, call us when you join a real league, and the Big East doesn't count.  Boise 40 - Falcons 24.

#6 Badgers @ #16 Sparty - Game Day is East Lansing this week!  Which means it's time for Sparty to melt down on national tv!  After low blowing Michigan last week, MSU takes on an equally dirty Badgers team that's been rolling everyone.  Russell Wilson has turning this team into something fierce.  Wilson really lost out on an SEC payday this year.  He could've sold his services to the highest bidder for a year.  You think Auburn wouldn't have paid?  Instead, he's making Wisky the favorite in what every single media outlet says is a down year for the Big Ten.  Apparently anytime a school other than Michigan or Ohio State is winning the Big Ten, it's a down year.  Whatever.  The Badgers will roll Sparty.  28 - 13.

Tar Heels @ #7 Clemson - Clemson is the 4th team in the top 25 with the Tigers nickname.  People REALLY loved Tigers back in the day.  Clemson nearly proved me right last week in a shootout with the  'Pins!  Yes, the 'Pins!  Why isn't everyone using that yet?  I'd say this is the week Clemson FINALLY blows it, but,... nah, this is the week.  I believe in them!  29 - 26 Tar Heels.

#25 Huskies @ #8 Luck U - Stanford is beating everyone by 30 points per game, and yet is ranked only 8th?  Apparently you are not worthy of being considered a "real" contender for a championship unless you play in the Southeastern US.  Does that mean Vanderbilt would be winning the Pac 12 if they moved out west?  Luck has been nothing short of dominant during his march to the Heisman, but I'm sure the voters on the east coast can't be bothere to stay up late enough to watch him play and would rather just give it to another 'Bama RB.  The Cardinal mush the Huskies into submission 42 - 14. 

#9 Razorbacks @ Ole Miss - Houston Nutt left Arkansas to take over at Ole Miss. The Ole Miss boosters weren't happy with David Cutliffe and his winning ways, so they decided Nutt was the answer to take them to... whever it is Ole Miss fans think they would go with a decent program.  How'd that work out for you Rebels?  On the flip side, Petrino quit on the Falcons mid-season to take over the 'Backs.  Apparently when you realize you can't coach worth a crap in the NFL, you may as well cut & run.  If both of these teams could lose I'd be all for it.  Petrino 38 - Nutt 10. 

#10 Ducks @ Buffaloes - Remember when Colorado had a decent football program?  They even had a Heisman trophy winner, a Slash at QB, first round draft picks.  And the Broncos used to have a good team too until Elway retired.  There's allot of bad football being played in Colorado right now.  But you know what, Tebow is so dang good he's going to save the Broncos AND Buffaloes!  Believe in Tebowology.  (To join Tebowology, just send a cashiers check or money order in the amount of $200 to me.  This is just an initial consultation fee and does not guarantee salvation during the rapture.  To guarantee salvation and become a full fledged member of Tebowolgy, you'll need to send me allot more money.  Your salvation is directly proportional to the amount of money you give me.) Ducks 47 - Buffs 3.

#11 K-State @ K - Rock Chalk... whatever.  It's still football season so nobody in Lawrence cares yet.  Wildcats 38 - Jayhawks 13. 

B.C @ #12 Hokies - BC's coach is apparently on the hot seat after just signing an extension this off season.  Why do coaches that sign extensions always seem to get fired the very next season? You think they know they're getting paid no matter what, so just pack it in?  Would you rather work 365 days per year as a head coach, or get fired and sit back and collect all that money and not do a damn thing?  What's easier, trying to convince 17 & 18 yr old kids to play at your school, or watching games at home while drinking a beer?  Beamer Ball keeps on rolling in Blacksburg.  Hokies 24 - BC 7.

#13 Cornhuskers @ Southern Canada - Minny may be one of the worst teams in all of college football this year. They play in a brand new stadium on campus.... that's OUTDOORS! They have literally nothing going for them.  How far underground to Golden Gophers have to burrow so they don't freeze to death in a Minnesota winter?  That is where the Minny football team belongs.  42 - 7 Huskers.

#17 Aggies @ Cyclones - The Aggies have been an average program in the Big XII.  The Aggies will continue that tradition in the SEC.  The frustration of their fan base to be bigger than their big brother Texas will never cease.  You can run away to another league, but you still can't get out of the Longhorn's shadow.  The Cyclones may be the best team in Iowa this year... but only because the Children of the Corn can't find a QB.  BTW, how scary would it be to go through a haunted corn maze in Iowa?  Can you imagine coming around a dark corner and having a bunch of creepy kids staring at you?  I'd never sleep again.  Aggies get tossed around by the 'Cones - 26 - 23.

Thunder Herd @ #19 Cougars - 6th year professional college QB Case Keenum is close to breaking the all time yardage mark for passing yards. Move over Timmy Chang, Case is taking you down!  Maybe Case can transfer to another school under the "Russell Wilson" rule next year and rack up even more ridiculous stats.  The SEC is already opening their checkbooks.  Cougars 49 - "Herd 17. 

#21 Nittany Lions @ Northwestern - Last week, JoePa didn't even make it on the field against Purdue.  The good part is Joe's contract is up after this season.  The bad part is there is no way in hell JoePa steps down willingly or quietly.  Joe literally will not let go, which means we are also stuck with his dipshit son running our anemic offense.  You know what, to be anemic, one would have to have some life, which we don't.  Thankfully Silas Redd runs as hard as any back in the nation b/c we're stuck with two bad QB's.  The Wildcats always win the first half against PSU, and PSU somehow always manages to come back in the second half and win.  That scenario continues this week - 24 - 21 JoePa U. 

#22 Yellow Jackets @ Da U - The Yellow Jackets run the most fun offense to watch that I would NEVER want my school to run.  And that's saying something, b/c PSU's offensive coordinator called a reverse on the 10 yard line with 14 seconds left in the half last week.  In the meantime, Da U and OSU are vying to see which one can get off the easiest from the NCAA.  I'll bet neither program even gets a slap on the wrist.  It'll be more like a stern talking too about how the NCAA isn't even mad at them, they're just disappointed.  'Canes 23 - Jackets 20.

#23 Illinois @ Purdue - Illinois somehow lost last week even though the opposing team complete only one... ONE! pass the entire game!  Even Penn State can complete more than ONE pass in a game!  On the down side for the Illini, that one pass was a TD and they lost by 10 to the Buckeyes.  Ouch.  It was bound to happen though, Zook always loses an ugly, ugly game every year.  Purude played tough last week, but made too many mistakes.  This week will be better, but they will stall fall short - 31 - 24 Illini.

Big Ten Action:

Indiana @ Iowa - Poor Indiana.  They lost arguably their best recruit since... forever? when Gunner Kiel, a top ranked QB, decommitted this week.  Rumor is Gunner is taking a look at Notre Dame, which is like rubbing a hot poker covered in salt in a fresh bullet wound.  It was bound to happen though.  The prom queen doesn't date the band geek.  It just doesn't happen in real life, only on Glee. In that world, the starting QB also chooses to sing & dance over actually playing QB, and their are spontaneous song & dance numbers throughout the school at any given moment.  Sounds like the high school from hell to me.  The Hawkeyese are just bad this year, but not as bad as the Hoosiers.  40 - 17 Hawkeyes.

Other games of note:

USC @ Notre Dame - remember when this game was the game of the week?  Back when Notre Dame thought Charlie Weis was too big too fail and Sneaky Pete was looking at Santa Monica Bay while Reggie & Matt were living rent free in gorgeous luxury apartments in downtown LA?  Granted, if they were cheating like the SEC, they would've been living rent free in Brentwood or somewhere on the west side, but hey, it was at least close to campus.  Weis is now in Gainesville, where the Gator offense has a decisive schematic advantage when eating at the Old Country Buffet.  Notre Dame STILL insists it's football team remain independent, which is like refusing to pick a side for dodge ball.  Eventually, everyone is throwing balls hitting you in the face and groin and you're out of the game before you know what hit you.  May Notre Dame rot in the purgatory of independence forever.  Praise Tebow. USC 27 - Irish 24. 

'Pins @ Seminoles - My how quickly the 'Noles have fallen.  The 'Pins will undoubtedly unvail yet another ugly uniform this week. This is a battle of two mediocre teams, the only difference is the 'Noles fans thought they were immediately going to be back to the same heights they were during the 90's.  They are nowhere close.  The 'Pins got rid of the Fridge thinking Edsall, and somehow new uniforms, would take them back too.. I have no idea... the year they won a national title in basketball?  Call this the Mediocre Bowl - Noles 34 - 'Pins 28

Upset of the week:

Besides the 'Cuse dropping 49 on Couch Burning U, and Rutgers losing to Louisville (Ha!  Rutgers.  They had one decent season when they had Ray Rice & Brian Leonard and have been riding that train ever since.  Rutgers is a joke, even by Big East standards)... my upset of the week is...

Jacksonville State over Kentucky - b/c even the SEC craps the bed every one in a while.