Week 10 Predictions

This weekend is Christmas in the SEC!!!  #1 vs. #2!!!!  SEC RULES!!!  O'DOYLE RULES!!!!!  O'DOYLE RULES!!!!!! 

Halloween is finally over, and now women must wait another year to have an excuse to dress as a slutty "fill in the blank". Damn. As for myself, my mullet wig, cowboy hat, & bandana are in storage already.  Yes, Brett Michaels attended my Halloween party.  Although a good number of people thought it was Vince Neil.  I even had one guy reference the car accident in LA that killed Razzle from Hanoi Rocks.  Behind the Music is officially educational television. 

I also learned this year that the wealthier the neighborhood, the bigger the candy.  Our friend's son scored big, literally, with full size candy bars!  Does that mean that the top 1% give out King size candy bars?  Or is there something even bigger that the bottom 99% don't even know about? 

The NCAA has proposed paying athletes 2K for their services on top of their scholarships.  Most of the conferences oppose this, but the SEC actually laughed.  Mike Silve was allegedly quoted as saying, "Our athletes are worth much more thank 2K.  For instance, the going rate for a top QB is 150K.  Today, Tim Tebow would be worth well over 200K. Besides, we already pay most of our athletes.  What the NCAA is proposing amounts to a pay cut in our conference."

In the Big Ten, Penn State miraculously controls it's own destiny.  Somehow, the Nittany Lions eaked out a 10-7 victory against the Fightin' Zookers last week to move to 8-1, 5-0 in conference. Yes, 10-7.  If you like defense, PSU is your team.  We actually have just as much chance of scoring on D as we do on Offense.  What's worse, they STILL played Rob Bolden, who looks as lost as Charlie Weiss at a salad bar.  It is actually easier to stay awake after taking 2 Lunesta than it is watching a Penn State game. 

The conference carousel is still in full swing.... There are some conspiracy theorists claiming ESPN is the driving force behind all of this realignment.  Mizzou. C'mon, shit or get off the pot.  Everyone knows you're going to the SEC.  They even accidentally announced it on the SEC website already.  So what's the hold up?  It's like telling your wife/fiance/girlfriend that you'll be the DD when you go out, but really, she knows and you know that you're getting drunk and she's driving home.  But I guess it's fun to pretend.  In the Zombie Big East.... they've now invited Boise St, SMU, Houston, UCF, Navy & Air Force.  Now if they'd just invite Army, Notre Dame would be clamoring to join!  Nothing says college football like the big rivalry game between Boise St & Central Florida to decide who goes to the BCS!  In the Big XII, Couch Burning U is suing to join their new conference next year.  The MWC is looking at taking some WAC schools if Boise bails.  Conference USA is making plans to replace the schools their losing, which begs the question... will the Sun Belt survive as a conference?

Despite what ESPN tells us, there are actually other games being played this weekend outside of Tuscaloosa.  So here we go....

#1 'Bama v. #2 LSU/#1 LSU v. #2 'Bama - It's on like Donkey Kong!!!!  Will the Mad Hatter like the taste of the Tide's grass? Per their deal, Saban will have Satan as an assistant coach for this game.There is no lack of talent on the field, especially on D.  LSU has two NFL prospects at CB, and 'Bama's D is loaded NFL caliber defenders.  On offense, LSU deploys a two QB system and somehow makes it work. 'Bama's AJ McCarron has not looked like a first year starter thus far, but having Trent Richardson behind you to hand off too certainly helps with that.  This game will come down to who makes the least amount of mistakes, and with 'Bama playing at home, I give them the edge.  27-24 Roll Tide.

#14 K State @ #3 Okie State - K State got destroyed by OU last week 58-17, enforcing my opinion that K State was the most overrated undefeated team.  This week, they are the most overrated 1 loss team.  The Cowboys are rolling.  63 - 17 Fightin' T. Boones.

#4 Stanford @ Beavers - Andrew Luck kept the Cardinal undefeated last week in the 3 OT shootout at the Coliseum.  Phil Sims called out Luck this week, saying he's not that impressed with the potential #1 overall pick. Which can only mean that Phil Sims has not watched a Stanford game all season.  Meanwhile, the Beavers stink.  47 - 24 Cardinal.

#5 Boise @ UNLV - Boise has another bye this week and will be spending it by scrimmaging UNLV in Vegas.  Do you think the Broncos will miss visiting the Strip when they have to fly to Storrs to play CT?  Boise rolls into their meeting with TCU undefeated.  50 - 7. 

A&M @ #6 Sooners - A&M's last year in the Big XII isn't going so well.  They are now 5-3 after losing to Mizzou in OT last week.  The Sooners lost their starting RB Whaley for the season last week.  Is it possible the Sooners will lose to two teams at home in the same year?  Not likely.  45 - 24 Sooners.

#9 USCe @ #7 Razorbacks - Without Marcus Lattimore, the Gamecocks offense has looked very PSU-like, scoring only 14 points the past two games.  Fortunately, their D has also looked very PSU-like as well.  The Razorbacks got lucky against a much improved Vandy squad last week.  Were the Razorbacks looking ahead to this game?  Possibly.  USCe just doesn't have the horses on O to hang in Fayetville.  38 - 17 Arkansas.

#8 Ducks @ U-Dub - The Ducks have been destroyin' fools since losing to LSU to start the year.  The Huskies are underrated, losing only to the Huskers & Stanford.  This will be a good game.  I expect the Ducks offense to outgun the Huskies.  45 - 29 Ducks.

Northwestern @ #10 Nebraska - The Almost Cats just can't seem to catch a break.  They almost win just about every game.  Persa is a dual threat, but he can't do it alone.  In Lincoln, Taylor Martinez has the worst mechanics this side of Tim Tebow.  Yet he somehow makes it work and they keep winning.  Like the rest of the Big Ten, their running game (10th in the nation) is WAY better than their passing game (106th). Burkhead is a steam roller.  He can't outrun you, so he'll run over you.  The Huskers roll over the Wildcats 41 - 31. 

#13 Houston @ UAB - the U of 'Bama B of T denied UAB $75 million in funds this week to build an on campus stadium, citing a lack of attendance, lack of football revenue, basically a lack of a decent football program.  It'd be like investing millions in European debt b/c you think your company should take on more risk.  Hey, maybe UAB can get John Corzine as their next coach!  There are two questions in this game.  1.  Will Case Keenum pass for more than 6 TD's? and 2.  Will anyone be there to see it if he does?  63 - 7 Cougars. 

#15 Wolverines @ Hawkeyes - The Hawkeyes lost to Minn-eh-sowtah last week.  Ouch.  It's a rough season in Iowa.  Unless the Wolverines play way down to the competition this week, there's no reason D-Rob shouldn't roll for 150 yds rushing and at least two TD's.  37 - 24 UM.

Golden Gophers @ #17 Sparty - Sparty's miracle high lasted all of 1 week.  After their dramatic hail mary against the Badgers, they put up only 3 points against the Huskers.  The Gophers are coming off their own dramatic win against the Hawkeyes last week.  This game will not be very dramatic for either team.  45-17 Sparty.

NM State @ #18 Bulldogs - Much to my surprise, the Bulldogs came out of the Swamp with a W last week.  The Dawgs are now on a 6 game winning street after starting the season 0-2.  The Aggies are the best team in the state of New Mexico.  Or at least I assume they are, since I know absolutely nothing about high school football in New Mexico.  39 - 3 Dawgs.

#19 ASU @ UCLA - So much for UCLA's resurgence while USC is on sanctions.  They're closer to firing their coach then they are to making the Rose Bowl.  Kind of ironic that all of their home games are played in the Rose Bowl, yet they never get a chance to play in the actual Rose Bowl.  The Sun Devils are still in the hunt to play in the actual Rose Bowl this year.  Sun Devils 35 - Bruins 13

Boilers @ #20 Badgers - My how the mighty have fallen.  The Badgers must have spent the entire week practicing how to knock down a hail mary pass.  This time OSU's true freshman QB victimized them by throwing on the run, across his body, for a game winning TD.  The Boilers got trounced in Ann Arbor last week.  Wisky will take out it's frustrations this week on the Boilers 45 - 17.

Tx Tech @ #21 Texas - The 'Horns only two losses have been to the Oklahoma schools this year.  Meanwhile, the Red Raiders got demolished by the Iowa State Cyclones last week!  ESPN better hope the 'Horns continue to win or their investment in the LHN will make Lehman Brothers look like a great buy.  24 - 17 'Horns.

Louisville @ #24 Couch Burning U - You think WVU is sad to give up their games against Rutgers & 'Cuse for games against TCU & Tx Tech?  How will the rest of the Big XII react when they land in Morgantown and are greeted by cousins with worse teeth than the British & burning couches lighting the runway?  You're not in Kansas anymore.  Hell, you're not even in the central time zone.  Louisville is looking forward to basketball season.  Mountaineers 31 - Louisville 24

#25 Southern Miss @ East Carolina - Southern Miss makes an appearance in the rankings!  I know little to nothing about the Golden Eagles.  I know less about the EC Pirates.  So let's say So Miss wins this one 42 - 35.

Big Ten Action:

Indiana @ Ohio State - the Buckeyes D is solid.  The Hoosiers D is not.  This one could be a shutout in Columbus.  31-0 Buckeyes.

Games of note:

Mizzou @ Baylor - Baylor started the year strong but their D has faded.  Meanwhile Mizzou has been playing better lately.  This one is going to be Tigers 41 - Bears 39.

Fightin' Irish @ Demon Deacons - The Irish sure love their cupcakes.  Maybe blowing out bad teams makes Brian Kelly feel better about himself.  35 - 10  Irish.

Upset of the week:

Vandy @ Florida - the Gators are on a 4 game skid. Not only are they losing, but their offense has been very PSU-esque.  They don't even have a Silas Redd to bail them out.  Vandy has been playing inspired football, even if they haven't been winning.  This could game could send Gator Nation into full melt down mode, and make Charlie Weiss's OC seat nice & toasty warm.  And no Charlie, nobody wants to see your Super Bowl ring, they want to see you direct TD drives.  28-27 Commodores.